That's what I heard the Lord say to me tonight, when I quit crying out to Him long enough to listen. "Do you trust me?" I had to admit, it was a good question. So, what is trust?
According to Webster's Dictionary, to trust is "to place confidence in; to depend on." It is also "to commit or place one's care or keeping." It is "to rely on the truthfulness or accuracy of; to believe."
So, do I trust Him? That kind of hit me right between the eyes. My immediate response would be "of course I do!" But do I? I have been sitting here asking Him for answers that I have already asked Him for. I have been reminding Him of how miserable I feel tonight, and how He promised to fix it all. I have been so impatient, wanting my problem solved; my needs met.
Do I trust Him? I have trusted Him to be my Savior, but do I trust Him in the everyday drudgery that life gets to be at times? There are things, hopes, promises that I have placed in His care, that I have "committed to His care or keeping" as the dictionary says. Am I trusting Him, or am I trying to take them back because I don't see any progress?
Tonight, I got a reality check; I realized that I was indeed trying to do just that. There are certain valuable dreams, hopes and promises that He has shown me He is and will provide for, and that HE will work out in His own time, and yet I have been lamenting and crying over the state of things as I see them. I have put Him in the same category with mere humans, who sometimes can be trusted, but sometimes can't. We are frail; we are weak, and we slip, fall, mess up, disappoint friends, and basically fall short of our own expectations.
But God is God. He doesn't mess up. EVER. He knows the end from the beginning. He has a perfect plan for my life, and He is working it out in His perfect timing. I entrusted all that I love and treasure, all my dreams, family, friends, and future into HIS hands. I can't take it back now. I'm the one that screwed it all up to start with.
Do I trust God? Yes, I do. He's the only one that is completely trustworthy.
"Sovereign LORD, you are God! Your covenant is trustworthy, and you have promised these good things to your servant." 2 Samuel 7:28