Late Summer Post from the Patio

I haven't been sitting on my patio for a while now. As you may recall if you've read my blog posts often, my east-facing backyard patio is too bright and usually too hot by the time I'm up and have taken my meds and made my coffee. 

Most days, I'm up by 8:00 or so (retirement perk!), but since the sun gets up much earlier than that, I end up taking my coffee to my recliner, which is in front of my west-facing living room window. This is a nice place to have my coffee and quiet time. My bird feeder is outside this window, so it's "somewhat" like being outside. 

Nothing really replaces the cool morning breeze and the sounds of nature waking up, though. For that, I have to actually go outside.

This morning, I woke up about 7:30, and managed to get myself up out of bed within a few minutes. I took my medications and fixed my coffee, then outside I went! By the time I opened the backdoor, about 8:10, the sun had topped the trees, at least from my perspective on the back porch. Seven steps down to the patio, however, and the sun was still behind the trees a bit. 

I sat down, after I reopened the patio umbrella. We've been having lots of thunderstorms with high winds in the past few weeks, so I have just left the umbrella closed to protect it.

I was only able to sit out there for 15 minutes or so, because even though it was still a cool 65 degrees out, the sun was blaring down on my patio too much for me.

One thing I got from this morning that I felt was worth sharing was that of perspective. If I had judged whether or not I could have my coffee and prayer time on the patio based on the conditions on the porch, I would have turned around and gone back inside. But five feet can make a difference. Once I was on the lower ground of the patio, it was still shady from the trees behind my house. 

It may seem silly, but I was so glad to have a short time on the patio. It was like a preview of the cooler weather that is to come. I am looking forward to the cool mornings that come with later sunrises. Fall and winter are my favorites for this reason. I love the mornings that I need a sweater to sit out there.

From this morning's reading:

"The Lord sustains all who fall and raises up all who are bowed down. The eyes of all look to You, and You give them their food in due time. You open Your hand and satisfy the desire of every living thing." Psalm 145:14-16.

Be blessed my friends! 

God is Working on Your Problem

Recently, my daughter and I were talking about my granddaughter, who broke both bones in her leg about mid-shin in late March. It was her first--and last--soccer game of the season. She's still in a cast, although she did finally get a below the knee cast about 3 or 4 weeks ago. We were saying how it had been so long now, almost 4 months, and it seemed like it would always be that way. We can't see any change with our physical eyes.

Of course, we know due to x-rays taken at her most recent doctor appointment that the bones are healing well. We are hopeful that she'll get a walking cast soon. I hope so. She's so tired of crutches, and at times a wheelchair. Not being able to participate in summer activities is getting really old. It's a bummer for anyone, but especially for a 12-year-old girl.

God used this little conversation to remind me that we often doubt He is doing anything about what we pray for. After all, we don't see any changes, so He must have put our request in the file cabinet to revisit later, if at all, right?

Wrong! God is working behind the scenes. In Isaiah 55:8-9 He says:

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, 

Nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, 

So are My ways higher than your ways, 

And My thoughts than your thoughts." 

He doesn't act like we humans do, procrastinating or setting our needs aside. He has a plan for each of our lives. And He hears our prayers. A couple of places this is evident are in the Psalms:

"O Lord my God, I cried to You for help, and You healed me." Psalm 30:2 

"Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34:19

Also, in Philippians we are encouraged to pray and trust God:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 6-7. 

I don't know if anyone else needed this reminder, but I sure did! It's been a long process for my granddaughter. I've also had some other pressing concerns and seemingly unanswered prayers that have made me question why He has delayed in answering. 

I've actually been kind of down. Not exactly depressed, but not joyful either.

So I decided to put this out there, just in case someone else needed to be reminded that God is at work on your problem! 

We're only human, and we get discouraged. But take heart! As Jesus said: 

"In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 

[Reluctant] Post From the Patio

This is the first post from the patio in a long while. Ever since the blasted "spring forward" time change, I have not been able to beat the sun out there. It's always blaring by the time I'm awake enough. Well, that changed this morning.

Thanks to a steroid shot on Monday for relief from really bad seasonal allergies this spring, I have not been able to sleep more than 3-4 hours a night. Last night I slept about 3 hours; I was awake until midnight (trying to get to sleep for at least an hour) and woke up at 3:00 am. Wide awake. I still laid there though, trying to go back to sleep for 3 hours. I finally gave up at 6:00 and got up. I'm hoping I can return to normal (for me, anyway) sleep patterns soon, and also hoping when the newly prescribed Flonase kicks in it won't cause insomnia, too. I already struggle with that as it is.

So I took my meds, made coffee, grabbed my morning devotional supplies and headed out to the patio. Of course, God met me there. Why do I fight this? I should know by now that He works in the low moments, the ones that frustrate us. Those moments that we see as a terrible roadblock in our plan. He meets us right where we are, in our most annoyed and disappointing times if we sit still long enough.

I'm reading a Max Lucado book that I've owned for 19 years; it was first published in 2004. It's titled Come Thirsty.  I am using it as a devotional book, reading one chapter a day. I can't quote it here because of copyright laws, but if you have access to that book, check out chapter 14. It's all about abiding, and God used it to speak into my heart about something I've been praying about. 

So sometimes what we perceive as a bad thing, God uses to show us the answer we've been asking Him for. Would I have still received this written word in the same way if I had read it from inside the house in my chair by the window? Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows? I just felt drawn to the patio this morning at 6:20 am when it was a brisk 57 degrees. 

I think we have to follow the leading of the Holy Spirit in things like this. 

Be blessed, my friends. God really, truly does love you. Always.

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." John 15:7 NASB

6:24 am coffee with steam

sun creeping to top of trees

from porch-here comes the sun

I'll Get There Eventually...

My trip to visit with my youngest and his wife was a week ago, and I'm just now writing about it. It's been a crazy week.

The trip west went well. The flight out of XNA in NWA to DFW was good; I actually arrived early. I had Chick-fil-A for lunch! Great news since we don't have one in the small town I now live in. After that, the flight to Houston was uneventful (as we like for flights to be). I arrived there on time; around 5 pm last Wednesday.

We had a great visit. We went to museums, took walks in the neighborhood, and visited quaint little bookshops. They took me to a great little shop called British Isles where everything in the store was from the UK. What a treat it was to go there! Everyone knows that I am completely enamored with the UK and it's at the top of my bucket list.

I got to see their Houston: the places they like to go. It was wonderful! We had lunch in a couple of places, but my fave was Picnic. Great soups and sandwiches, and the atmosphere was so relaxing. I didn't get a picture of everything, but I got a few.

I got to see the play that Jeff was in TWICE! It was so good! I hadn't seen him acting in over a decade. On Saturday night, while he was in the final show, Alli and I went to a play in a different section of the city. We saw The Play that Goes Wrong, and it was hilarious!

They kept me entertained and fed, and they even got me the cutest and most delicious cookie cake for Mother's Day. We had lots of time to just talk and be together. We always have a great time when we get to be together. We even got to play a couple of board games.

Then sadly, it was time for me to embark on the trip home. Last Sunday morning, I woke up to stormy skies and a message from my airline that my flight was delayed...

This went on all day. I had my son and daughter-in-law to take me to the airport when we thought my flight was leaving at 2:30 (instead of 10:53). By the time I was walking into the airport to print my boarding pass, it had changed to 3:15. 

I finally got to fly out of Houston at 6:36pm, almost 8 hours behind schedule. Then in Dallas I was on 2 standby lists for flights to XNA at 8:30 and 10:30pm, because I had missed my connecting flight and had been put on an 8:45am flight on MONDAY!!! The airline does not pay for lodging in the case of weather delays, so I was faced with having to possibly get a hotel in Dallas for the night and come back to the airport by 6:30am to check in. I did NOT want to do that.

I was starting to feel abandoned, forsaken, and alone. So I did what I always do in these cases: I prayed. I texted friends and family to pray with me that I would get on one of the standby flights. I remembered a scripture as I prayed:

"I have been young and now I am old, Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken or his descendants begging bread." Psalm 37:25 NASB.

So I prayed this and stood on it.

25 

I didn't get on the first flight but praise the Lord! I got on the one at 10:30pm. I was finally headed back home. The flight was good and another uneventful one, with one exception: as we started our descent into the airport, I suddenly had searing pain in my head, behind my left eye. I seriously thought I might be having a stroke. It was so scary! However, the lower we got, the less painful it was. By the time we were on the ground, my head had stopped hurting.

It was after midnight by this time, and I was exhausted. I checked myself for indications of a stroke and found none, so I made my way to the hotel, checked in, got to my room, and collapsed on my bed. Then I googled about pain behind the eyes during flight descent for the next 30 minutes or so.

You probably already guessed; it was sinus related. I read about uneven cabin pressure and its effect on swollen sinus passages. Everything I read seemed to point to that. It didn't help that it was a smaller plane; the others I had been on this trip had been larger, in the 747 category. I would imagine the cabin pressure was distributed better on a larger plane, but I don't really know. Upon my return home, I saw a doctor and was diagnosed with a sinus infection due to a lot of fluid behind my left ear. This would account for the pain I was told.

But the story doesn't end there. Turns out I'm allergic to the antibiotic I was prescribed! I ended up in the ER with a rash and swollen, red mouth and eyes (because, of course, the symptoms started several hours after the 4th dose and just after the walk-in clinic closed at 8pm).

I can't make this stuff up. LOL!

I was told it was non-anaphylactic allergy, thank God, and sent home to take Benadryl. The next morning, I looked even worse. The skin around and under my eyes was really red and my eyes were swollen almost shut. It has taken 4 days for those 4 doses to get out of my system, but I'm currently almost "normal" again. I'm thankful I didn't take more than that!

I still love to travel, and I even love to fly. I'll just make sure I have taken allergy meds before I fly next time.

Thanks for reading my ramblings, friends. I don't travel often, so it's "big news," LOL. 

In the last bit of 2021...

We are in the last 2 hours of 2021 as I write this. Until a few minutes ago, I have been sitting alone in my living room and binge-watching the first season of Lost in Space (the new version...though I'm old enough to remember the version that was on TV in the 60s). This version is pretty good. I had watched season 1 and then never got around to watching season 2. Now, there's a season 3 and I didn't remember what happened in season 1. So I started over.

It is worth mentioning that God has done an amazing work in my heart, because I actually prefer being alone tonight watching Netflix. In not too distant years past, FOMO (fear of missing out) would have pulled me out of the house to some event. I so desperately needed to belong for so many years. Now, however, I'm content and happy to be alone on New Year's Eve.

This year that is drawing to a close, 2021, brought a lot of changes to my life. At times I look around and marvel at what God has done in my life.

January through June, I finished out my contract in the office of the school where I had worked since 1995. It still blows my mind that I no longer work there.

That portion of the year flew by, and I found myself among the ranks of the retired on July 1. I sold my house, packed up, and moved to a town that is a 3-and-a-half-hour drive away from my beloved hometown; the only place I had ever lived. I miss it, but I at the same time I am loving retirement and having my family so close by. 

It has been an adjustment, but a good one. In mid-September, I found a duplex in a good neighborhood. I really like it here. I do miss my friends from my hometown, but the trade-off is I get to see my grandkids often; at least once a week. 

There are some things I don't like. I was used to living in a small town which was next door to a bigger town. There were lots of different stores, restaurants, and really great medical care. 

Here, we are in a smaller town in the middle of nowhere:

There is no drive through Starbucks! 

The variety of restaurants and retail stores is very limited.

And I still haven't found a doctor who will take on a new patient, which means that in a couple of weeks, in order to get my prescriptions refilled for the next 6 months, I have to go back to my physician in the larger city that I lived close to previously. 

I tell myself, though, that these are first-world problems. I will survive. I don't need to eat out or shop much anyway, and I found a drive though (though non-Starbucks) coffee place.

When it's all said and done, I would do it all again. I am in the same town with my daughter and her family for the first time. Having family across town is amazing. 

My youngest son and his wife visited me for Christmas, and while we were having dinner at my daughter's house, we zoom called my oldest son. So I was talking to all my children that day. 

This year has had its challenges, but it has had good things too. 

I noticed this entry in my journal, and I want to share it.

"Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies...the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house; and You give them to drink of the river of your delights."  --Psalm 36--

Bottom line: God takes care of us wherever we are. He is good and faithful, and I feel really blessed.

Happy New Year to all my friends and family! May 2022 be a good year filled with Hope and Promise for you all! 

New Chapter

It's been a while since I have written in this blog. There's been a LOT going on.

For starters, I'll sum up (too much to 'splain just yet):

June 18: On the day after my last official work day (I had vacation days to use up), I sold my house.

June 30: I officially retired from the school where I had worked since 1995.

August 3: I closed on the house I had bought in 2009 and that same day, drove 3 1/2 hours to where my daughter and her family lives.

Yep, a lot has happened in a short amount of time. Welcome to the new chapter of my life. Now, let me explain what's been going on.

Several years ago, when I first started thinking about retirement, I started entertaining the thought of moving to where my family lives. Those who know me know that I could have not been persuaded to leave my hometown, the only place I have lived for the 66.5 years of my life so far, unless God directed me to. I liked my little house and my little town. I had close friends at church and at work. I was content.

Until I wasn't. About 2 years ago, I really started to feel isolated from family and friends. Several good friends had retired or became involved in their own families to a greater extent so that I seldom saw them. Completely understandable, but those are the facts. Also, I only saw my kids about once a year, and 2-3 times a year I traveled to the town where I am now living to see my grandkids.

Then Covid came along, and all that came to an abrupt halt. There was no more seeing anyone, anytime. I was working from home, where I lived alone. I didn't see my friends, my co-workers, my church family, or my children and grandchildren. The only social interaction I had was on zoom and Facetime calls.

I don't have to tell you, though; you all lived it with me. Our society has changed drastically in the past year and a half.

My daughter had been suggesting that I moved to their town when I retired. I had been hesitant, but still open to the suggestion for SOMEDAY. Not right away, though. That is, until the 4 1/2 months of working from home and isolation I endured from mid-March through the first week of August in 2020.

I'm not outgoing; I'm actually quite the introvert, and I do fine by myself with some social interaction every so often. I didn't do so well with 4+ months of it, though.

I started to feel like I was on an island, and there were no boats venturing close to it. I went days without uttering a sound because there was no one anywhere near me.

My beloved 15-year-old cat, Izzy, had crossed the rainbow bridge in December 2020, so I didn't even have her to talk to.

The idea of moving started to sound plausible. 

About a year ago, I started considering putting my house up for sale in the spring of 2021. I prayed about it a lot, and somewhere along the way a number--a sale price for my house--came to me. I pushed it aside because I knew nothing about selling a house and what to ask for it.

But the number stayed there. I began to realize that it was God putting that number in my head. I felt He was telling me that this was the price I would get for it.

I consulted a friend at church who is a realtor, and she told me what I should ask for my house if I wanted to sell it on my own. This price was a little more than the number I had been thinking of, but it's what I decided to start with. The plan was to try and sell it for a few weeks, then list it with her if it didn't sell.

By the middle of June, the people who had been interested in my house all backed away. No one even countered my asking price. I decided that meant I was supposed to list it, so I made an appointment for June 18, my first day of vacation, to meet with my realtor and list my house.

Meanwhile...(this is where it gets good)...    

I needed to train my replacement at my job, but we had difficulty getting together. I finally got to work with her for 2 hours on my last day on the job, at the end of the day. I now know that this was exactly how God set it up.

The peace of God enveloped me when I met her; I knew she was who God wanted to have my job. He had given it to me years before in a strange turn of events and I had loved my job. It was the job I was meant to do. Now I knew He had done the same for her.

I had paperwork to turn in to the administration office, but they were closed by the time we were finished that day, so I went to turn in the paperwork the next morning, on the first day of my vacation, June 18. Because I had to go to the office to turn this in, I saw and talked to someone I didn't see often. As it turns out, this is who bought my house. 

I had been feeling a little irritated that the events of that week had not lined up like I had planned. But God...HE had a plan.

The price? There was an offer, and I countered. Then the buyer countered the number that had been in my head for almost a year. 

I started crying because I knew God was working to sell my house.

GOD sold my house. I had nothing to do with it. 

I still don't have a house of my own; housing is hard to find right now. But I have my daughter and son-in-law's basement apartment to live in until I find a place. My needs are met. God had it all worked out.

So begins my new chapter, in a new town. God is in control, He has shown me that repeatedly. 

By the way, this is the scripture that came to me when I woke up this morning:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Halloween On a Saturday...Again...

Eleven years ago today, I moved into my very own house. It was quite an accomplishment for me to buy a house after being on my own for twelve years; not only financially and emotionally, but also spiritually as well. Halloween is my spiritual birthday; I gave my heart to Jesus on October 31, 1994. It is a very special day to me. I have never been the same.

I was going to just re-post the blog I wrote 10 years ago about my first night living in my own home, but I wanted to add a little explanation. After all we've been through during 2020, in this year of the pandemic, it's even more special to me that Halloween landed on a Saturday again, just like the first day I lived here. 

It's like, once again, God went out of His way to remind me that I am His and He is always with me.

God has taken care of me my whole life, but it's been especially evident since I went through a divorce and started to make my own way in life alone. He has never let me down, and He never will. 

Something I didn't mention in the original post is that I had owned the house for about 10 days, but my best friend and her husband and sons couldn't help me move until after the Heaven or Hell drama at our church. I know this was all in God's plan and timing. We had to delay until the drama was over and we had a weekend.

Which just happened to be Halloween.

So,without further ado, here is the blog I wrote in 2010 about that night.

Home Sweet Home

Did I ever mention that I bought a house? I did. I am a homeowner. After renting an apartment for twelve years, eleven of them in the same apartment, it was time.  It was quite a journey, from being newly divorced and working two jobs to make ends meet in 1997 to buying a house in October 2009.  God really did a work there.  Not only did He have to get me through some really rough stuff financially, especially in those early days, He had to convince me that I was capable of whatever He put in my heart to do--with His help of course. Anyone who knows me very well knows that I have not exactly exhibited an abundance of self-confidence.  That said, just know that my buying a house is a BIG DEAL.

God had been dealing with me for months before I even started house-hunting.  He urged me to start packing up Jeff's room; a good place to start since I obviously didn't use Jeff's stuff. Actually, Jeff didn't even use his stuff, since he moved to Virginia without the two six-foot bookshelves full of books (yes, he has that many books) and a closet full of clothes. That in itself is a story for another blog.  So, I began carting books to storage, even before I was officially looking for a house.

After months of searching, I found the right house and closed on the deal.  I became a homeowner.  Now if I could just stop shaking long enough to move.  Why was I shaking?  Oh, I forgot to mention:  I was terrified to move. I was so scared of living in a house.  My little second-floor apartment had been home to me for eleven years, and it was my comfort zone. I shifted into high gear: I started really packing and moving. A really good friend and her husband and sons helped me all day on a Saturday, and I was in. I had wall to wall boxes, but I was moved in.

That night after everyone was gone, I collapsed on the couch to rest and watch a little TV before bed.  I hadn't been afraid yet.  Hmm, that was strange.  It had been in the back of my mind all day, the fact that everyone would leave and I would be there all alone in a strange house.  As I sat there on the couch mulling this over, I heard the sounds of a group of children next door, having a lot of fun at their Halloween party. Ah, how nice.  It made it seem like a friendly, safe neighborhood. 

Wait a minute...Halloween?  Was the date really October 31?  At that precise moment, it hit me like a ton of bricks.  My first night to stay in my new house was October 31.  Unbelievable.  In case you haven't read some of my earlier blogs, this just happens to be my spiritual birthday.  I was radically saved on October 31, 1994, all alone in my living room.  It was a very dramatic "about face" for me.  I truly turned 180 degrees, from running away from God and all that He stood for to running into His loving arms and repenting.  I have never been the same.

As it began to sink in that God had purposely arranged for my first night in my house to be that particular day, peace enveloped me.  It occurred to me that I was not afraid. I was sitting on my couch, just in awe of Him and praising Him for doing that for me, when He clearly said to me that He gave me this house, and He wouldn't put me in harm's way.  If  He gave it to me, which He did, then He was already here and He made it a safe place for me to dwell.

I love it when the God of the universe goes to the trouble of doing something that will be very special to me.  He knew that it would give me peace to know He did that for me. It's home sweet home because He picked it out and was already here when I got here.  My Father is awesome!

Scaredy Cat

My cat Isabel is a "scaredy cat."  She has severe anxiety, which I think was brought on in part by living across the street from the football field when she was very little. The year I adopted her was also the year that our football team decided firing a cannon was a good thing to do when we scored a touchdown.

Izzy wasn't a fan.

She is still afraid of loud noises; things like thunder, large trucks driving down the street, and dogs barking will send her scrambling to get under the bed. A few mornings ago, she was sitting in my lap purring until the dog two houses down decided to start barking.

First, the purring stopped. Then, she started the characteristic fidgeting like she does when she's nervous about something. I knew the next step would be that she would get up and go to her hiding place under the bed.

I reminded her that the dog was outside and she was inside the house where he couldn't get to her. She of course did not listen to me and soon got up and left as I figured she would.

I shook my head and muttered something along the lines of "why won't you believe me that you're safe?" Then it hit me.

We do the same thing.

God tells us in His word to not fear, but we still do. I have battled with anxiety my entire life. I am so much better, but I have weak moments sometimes.

Some nights I lie down in bed, get comfortable and start to drift off to sleep, and then I hear something. Many times I have gotten up out of bed, checked every room, and of course all is ok.

This is when I get into the Word and read the places I where I have found peace. Places in His word like in Psalms calm my heart and help me remember to trust Him:

"I lay down and slept;

I awoke, for the Lord sustains me.

I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people

who have set themselves against me round about."  Psalm 3:5,6.

These days, the environment of society in a pandemic lends itself to being fearful.

Sometimes I have to shut off the news and just believe God is taking care of me. I'm doing all I can do; I'm mostly staying home and wearing a mask when I have to go out. I do grocery pick up for the most part but if I absolutely have to go into a store, I do it early in the morning before it's packed.

Then, I have to Just. Trust. God.

There's a reassuring passage in Isaiah:

"Do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,

Surely I will  uphold you with My righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10.

God is watching over me, I know He is. I have to be reminded of it from time to time, though; we all do if we're honest. I'm posting this because I DID need to be reminded, and chances are someone else did, too.

We are going to get through this by trusting in God, by taking Him at His word. There is a Bible full of promises of how He protects His children. We have to read and believe Him. He is our only hope. As the song says, "all my life You have been faithful, all my life You have been so so good..."

I choose to trust in the goodness of God.  Please join me in trusting Him.

Stay as safe as you can and leave this burden of fear in His hands. He is watching over His own. <3

Hiding Behind a Mask

I went into the store yesterday, wearing a new face mask that a dear friend of mine made me. I had to go because I needed my blood pressure meds that I refill once a month. I didn't think of asking for a three month supply before all this COVID stuff started. I will definitely look into that.

I hadn't been inside this particular big box store since March 18 or so. I have been doing my shopping online, and getting pretty good at it. I noticed while I was there that a lot of people were wearing masks, which gave me some measure of relief. The experts say the masks generally don't protect the wearer unless they are the type they use in medical settings, but they protect others from us. Still, it makes me feel better to be wearing one, and they say it's better than not wearing one.

So, this is a fact of life now. I will be wearing a mask anytime I go out in public in the foreseeable future, and many of you will, too, I'm sure.

Even though hiding behind a mask gives me marginal protection, I will still do it. But there is one I hide behind who can give more than just a measure of protection: Jesus. To really be protected in the storms of life--and this is a storm if I ever saw one--we must hide in Him.

Psalm 91 is one of my all time favorite chapters in the Bible. It starts out:

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 
I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!"

I'm staying as close to Him as possible right now, because He is my hope. Farther down in verse 3 it says:

For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence.

I'd say we are dealing with a pestilence. Verses 5 & 6 give a promise:

You will not be afraid of the terror by night, or of the arrow that flies by day;
Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. 

Then in verse 9 it gets really good:

For you have made the Lord, my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place. No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent.

Yet another place where it says no pestilence or plague will come near us! That's good news. I looked up the word pestilence and it's "a fatal or epidemic disease."

There are three places in just Psalm 91 alone that say God will protect His own from disease. There are other places in His word as well.

Maybe you think I'm being overly simplistic, but I don't care. I'm taking MY GOD at His Word. 

I'm not writing this because I'm not afraid and so I'm telling you to not fear. No, I have my moments of being afraid, I assure you.  I'm writing to remind you to seek God when you're afraid. I still have moments of fear, and when I do, I know where to go; I run straight to my Father and remind Him (even though He didn't forget) that because I put my trust in Him and I dwell in His shadow, He promised me this. 

Sometimes I read it out loud. It increases my faith to hear the word of God. 

We are all in this together, a safe distance apart, of course. But there is One you do not have to stay 6 feet from. In fact, I'd say get as close as you can to God. He is the only safe place.

The end of Psalm 91 says:


"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; 
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation."

Peace and love to you all, my friends.



 






 

Uncharted Territory

Hi, it's me, checking in. Still trying to stay positive here in the midst of a pandemic. Still hanging on to a shred of normalcy by getting up and getting dressed in regular clothes (most days, anyway) so I don't schlep around in my pjs every day and not even remember what day it is.

Uncharted territory. I've heard that so many times over the last 3 weeks. We are definitely in it, though. Turns out, March 13 was the last day of on campus school. So bizarre. It's like we went to bed in a normal world one night and woke up in the Twilight Zone.

So, school as we have known it, in a classroom of a school building, is over for this school year. We got the word today from the governor. Because our cases of COVID-19 continue to rise in our state, we will finish out the year with AMI (alternative means of instruction). Mostly online, supplemented with some printed materials that families without internet can use to get school work done.

I totally support his decision. It's really the wise thing to do. Still...

Never in my life have we faced something like this. Teachers that I work with are devastated. This is not how they wanted the school year to wind up. It's not how any of us wanted it to end.

I'm the bookkeeper in the school where I work, so I will have some work to do to finish up the financial aspects of the school year. I will probably find out in the next few days how I'm going to go about that. It's tricky when we have to social distance.

I'm used to being there all summer with very few others in the building since I'm a year round employee, but not like this. Not when I feel vulnerable and scared I'll get the virus if I'm not in my little house.

Yeah, I'm still a little stressed. How could you not be, just a little?

Over the last three weeks (just 3 weeks? it seems like 3 months!) things have changed so drastically. Because people in my age group do not need to be in public unless really necessary, I have developed a system for adding groceries to my online shopping cart as I realize I need something. When it's full enough, then the fun of getting a pick up time slot begins. This is no easy task in itself; there are never enough, and the times are gone quickly.

I have learned so many new things in this short time. Life is not simple anymore; I feel sometimes like I'm trying to outsmart zombies (I hate zombie movies!!!) instead of avoiding a virus. There are so many things I took for granted, but now I have a new set of skills.

I do all my grocery shopping online now. I haven't been inside a store in over 2 weeks. 

I have developed a system now for unloading the groceries after I pick them up. 

I have learned to not touch my face until I have everything I have brought into the house put away.  Groceries, mail, packages from deliveries all have to be processed before being put away.

After I have handled "possibly contaminated" items, I have learned how to wash my hands really really well. 

I go around daily with disinfectant spray, wiping doorknobs, light switches, and other surfaces that might be contaminated with COVID-19.

I could go on, but no need. I'm sure you are doing the same things every day.

I wrote about fear in my last post. I tried to encourage others with scriptures to help overcome it. It's been a tough few weeks, though. I'm taking my own advice, standing on the Word of God and trusting Him. It's not easy, though.

Everywhere I turn, news is interrupting my peace. I finally had to limit the number of times that I check the news in a days' time because it was letting fear overcome me.

Even with the fear cropping up sometimes, I am grateful that I have the option to hide in my house to stay safe. There are some who cannot do that. So I have to say that I am so thankful to all those in the medical profession, who daily walk into their jobs and face this monster virus every day. These people, in my mind, are the new superheroes. I pray for all of them daily.

This is now our world. For how long, we don't know. But I wonder if things will ever be "normal" again. 

*Deep breath.*

So, I just wanted to encourage you to "keep on keeping on," and they used to say in a previous decade of my life, probably way back there in the twentieth century somewhere.

We WILL get through this. God is still on His throne, and none of this took Him by surprise. We need to do what we know to do to stay safe, but ultimately it's up to God. We have to trust Him to take care of us.

I'm trusting Him, and even though I have my moments of being scared, I know He is taking care of me.

Hang in there. Stay safe. Trust in God. Pray for those who are on the front lines of this battle, fighting against this invisible enemy.

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust him. 

For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease."

                                                                                    Psalm 91:1-3 

 


  

What to Do When You are Afraid

I've been absent for a while now. I hope there is still someone who wants to read this blog, because it's not going away. I just had to be silent for a while.

So a lot is going on in the world now. You can't turn on any TV without hearing "Corona Virus" or "COVID-19" within a few minutes. People are stockpiling everything. Everything. The store was out of toilet paper, dishwashing soap, butter, ground beef, and most of the eggs when I was in there a couple of days ago.

I've never seen anything like this in my life.

This is downright panic we are seeing here. People are grasping at what they feel like they will need, and getting a little extra just to be sure. What causes this kind of behavior? I'll tell you my opinion:

FEAR. 

People are fearful, because, no one really knows what is going to happen next. They want to be prepared for anything, so they are buying everything.

I'll admit, it's a little scary and unsettling. It's natural to be a little scared of the unknown. I've been afraid many times in the many years that I have been on my own. Experience has taught me: when I'm afraid, run to my Father. He alone has the answers to my problems; He alone can calm my fears by reminding me of His promises. I go to His Word and read some of those promises:

When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You. Psalm 56:3

I sought the Lord, and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. Psalm 34:4

Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken. Psalm 55:22

Ok, I like the Psalms. I had a problem with fear when I first became single again, and I camped out there for a while. I recommend you read three chapters of Psalms a day if you have a problem with fear. It really helped me when I did that.

There are also scriptures dealing with fear in the New Testament. 

Perhaps the most well known one is: 

God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.  2 Timothy 1:7 KJV

There are the words of Jesus in John, telling us to not be fearful:

Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled; or let it be fearful. John 14:27


These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world. 

John 16:33

The bottom line is this: the answers are in the Bible. If you are afraid and trembling with uncertainty (no judgment here; I've done it) then go get your Bible and read it. Pray, of course, pour out your heart to God, and then read His word. That's where the answers are. 

I have too many scriptures on fear to include them all here. I plan to put one every night on my Facebook page over the next couple of weeks, so check back for more.

Take heart. This too shall pass. The main thing is, do you trust God? He is your hope and your answer. He will take care of you if you give Him your heart and turn to Him.

As David says in one of his Psalms:

Be gracious to me, O God, be gracious to me, For my soul takes refuge in You; and in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge until destruction passes by. Psalm 57:1

He is my refuge, my safe place. I trust in Him to get me through this troublesome time.

Be blessed, my friends. <3

Plans and Promises

We have had major flooding in my area over the last couple of weeks. Many people's homes were flooded and some lost everything. It has been devastating. As the flood waters have started to recede, the clean up process has begun but it will be a long time before things are back to normal around here.

As if we didn't have enough water, we've just had several days of torrential downpours. On top of the major flooding we have endured, flash flooding has been occurring the last couple of days. It seemed there was no end in sight.

Last night at sunset, as the rain clouds finally started to clear and move on out of our area, there was a beautiful rainbow in the eastern sky. I saw pictures of the whole rainbow on social media last night, but in the area where I live there are so many trees that I can see very little of the sky from my yard. I was sitting on the porch enjoying the cool breeze, when I started to notice an orange glow through the trees to the east. I was curious about what this could be, so I went out into the street to see what it was. 

I stepped into the street and saw a breathtakingly beautiful rainbow. The picture here does not do it justice. The colors were brilliant and stunning. I ran to the back yard to see if I could see the other end of it, but I could only see tiny bits here and there through the trees. I was just happy that I got to see some of it; I usually miss these things because I tend to stay in the house all the time. I was glad I risked being on the mosquito buffet yesterday evening; it was worth it to see this reminder of one of God's promises.

This made me realize that this is how we see God's plan for us. He sees the entire plan from beginning to end; we only see a fragment. We can't tell where God is going with this current situation we are in. "What are you up to?" we often ask Him. Because we can't see the whole plan, it doesn't always make sense to us. 

This scripture came to me during my prayer time this morning. It seems very timely; I've prayed along these lines many times during physical and other types of storms. God has always taken care of me: 

"Hear my cry, O God, give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been a refuge for me, a tower of strength against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings. Selah." Psalm 61:1-4 NASB

It is uncanny that I stumbled across a scripture talking about higher ground when so many were scrambling for just that in the last couple of weeks. I know it isn't necessarily literal, though. It serves as a reminder to me that when we put our trust in God, He is always guiding and protecting us. Whether the enemy happens to be raging flood waters or some other type of disaster in our lives, He is always with us.

I am encouraged today because of the reminders of God's promises; both in the sky and in His word. I hope you are, too.

The Return of the Daffodil

This time a year ago I was lamenting over our early spring-like weather, and complaining that I had a single daffodil that braved a cold, but above freezing, rainy week in late February and finally bloomed in spite of the adverse conditions. 

I was so bummed, because I wanted some winter, and desperately wanted it to snow.

Here is that blog post if you didn't read it and want to. If my link doesn't work (I'm really rusty on my html skills), just copy and paste it into your browser:

<a href=https://debbiev120.blogspot.com/2018/02/just-daffodil.html/">Just a Daffodil</a>

Or, just look for it in the blog archive to the right. It's one of the very few that I wrote in 2018.

Long story short, the next day after my lone daffodil bravely bloomed, someone picked it out of my yard. I was so upset! I had watched its progress all week and when it finally bloomed, it was stolen.

So this year, it is once again too warm for February, as it usually is in my part of the country, and spring flowers are coming up all over the place. One such place is my front yard, in the same area where I had one daffodil last year. Only this year, there is not one. There are seven!

Seven flowers are coming up where I had one last year! I'm actually excited to see them this year. I am resigned to the fact that we don't often get to have winters like I would like to have anymore.  Someday, after I retire, I will most likely move farther north so I can enjoy my favorite season and maybe even see snow sometimes.

Yes, I know; I'm the opposite of normal. Most people move south when they retire, but I detest hot, sticky, and humid southern summers. I always have. If I move, it will be north.

So what did I learn from the daffodils blooming? Without reading too much into it, I feel like it's a reminder of blessings I have been given.

For instance, there is the obvious, like the number of friends and family members I have now compared to years ago when I first found myself single and alone. God has been gracious and generous and He set this lonely girl into a family (Psalm 68:6). I am so blessed.

There is also the not so obvious.

For one, maybe we all have the potential for much more than we first imagined. Spiritual gifts are within all followers of Christ, even if we don't see them or readily know what they are. We have to ask Him to show us, and He will.

Secondly, what seems insignificant and small, like the tiny lone flower, may just grow into an entire garden. We may share the Gospel with one, and that one may share with seven, and those seven may become hundreds. So we should always share our faith, even if it seems like we aren't doing enough. You never know what an impact you may have.

Finally, everyone matters. Everyone. No one is too small or insignificant for God to use. Each and every one of us matters to Him. We each may feel like we are only one person, and therefore we can't do much. God, however, will use each small act done in faith for His kingdom. 

Just like He multiplied that one, brave little daffodil into seven.

We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. Romans 12:6 NIV

Back to Factory Settings

My soul has been disquieted with much turmoil within over the last year and a half or so. I really did not know what was going on for a long time. I felt like I had no purpose anymore. Finally, it has begun to come into focus for me. God has been cleaning out my heart, removing idols and tearing down the high places.

There has been a lot of closet cleaning so to speak. God has a way of finding things hidden away in my heart that I didn't know or remember were there. Broken dreams and a shattered future are among the things He dug out, things I had already given to Him...or thought I had.

According to what God's Word says about me, I am worth more than I had come to believe over the last couple of years. He says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

All along I have felt like my future was destroyed many years ago when the marriage broke up. It has come to my attention that even if the future I thought I wanted and needed was shattered, God still has one for me. He did not give up on me even though I felt like I was no good, of no use to anyone many times. None of this took Him by surprise.

The words "factory settings" came to me recently when I was meditating on God's word and what He has for me. I did a word search on "back to factory settings." Turns out it means the item (or person in this case) is made as good as new.

As if I was never damaged.

As if I had never been enticed away from my true calling to languish in a perception that I needed something or someone I didn't have.

As if I had never thrown caution to the wind and set aside my purpose, to follow a purpose I thought I saw....just beyond the mist...just out of my reach.

I have been looking through a distorted lens; seeing things as if in a carnival fun house mirror. I wasn't seeing truth; I was believing a lie.

Jesus has shown me that He has picked me up...again...and set me on the right path.

He is even now in the process of restoring my soul "back to factory settings." This process has been painful at times. My heart has once again been broken beyond repair by anyone but the One who built it.

Fortunately for me, I know the the One who made me very well. I am confident of this, that "He who began a good work in (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6.

Praise the Lord!

 

Fighting Battles

It has once again been longer than normal since I wrote last. I've been busy. It seems I'm in a battle.

A while back I was trying to figure out what emotion I was feeling inside. There was an ache and an emptiness that I knew from experience could only be filled by God. Not only was I well aware that it could not be filled by people or things, I didn't want it to be. I knew it was a hunger for God alone, so I have been waiting before God during prayer to show up and fix the problem.

While waiting, I have been asking all kinds of questions.

We humans love to ask questions, don't we? Why am I in this battle? Why has it practically paralyzed me emotionally and spiritually? How can I ask God to fix something if I don't even know what is wrong?

And of course, God doesn't answer those questions.

Then one day at church, it came to me what I was feeling. No wonder it felt familiar! This particular emotion goes way back into my childhood. The spirit of rejection has been trying to work its way back into my life lately, and this time it brought along an old foe of mine to help to entrap me.

During worship it suddenly came to me, and I had to write it down. I quickly sat down and rummaged through my purse and Bible looking for paper, but I had cleaned out my purse and there was no scrap paper to be found. I finally scribbled frantically on the back of the bulletin. I know from experience that if I don't write it down it will "evaporate" and I won't be able to recall what it was.

So I wrote down what I had been feeling and couldn't put my finger on. I wrote these words:

I feel like everyone ran on ahead of me and left me here all alone. It's like I bent down to tie my shoe, and they didn't wait on me. I'm standing here all alone. But I'm not alone, Jesus said He would never leave me nor forsake me, so He is here. I'm surrounded by God.... 

And in the background the church was singing "It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by God. This is how I fight my battles..."

Suddenly I knew what it was. The emotion I had been experiencing was ABANDONMENT. Very similar to rejection, almost, but not exactly. I thought back to a time when I had felt that emotion. For some reason, this particular memory is etched into my brain.

When I was a little girl, maybe 7 or 8, I distinctly remember a time when my mama said she was going to the store, and I could go with her when she was ready to go. So I went out into the yard to wait for her. After I had been outside for a while, suddenly I saw her car driving down the street, away from our house.

I panicked. I was sure that my mama had forgotten I wanted to go with her, and she left me. I ran after the car, frantic to catch up with her and make her see me and remember that I wanted to go with her. I finally caught up with the car at the end of the block when the driver stopped at the stop sign.

Then I saw it wasn't my mama. Relief flooded through me as I stood there catching my breath. Even though I was still feeling shaky from emotion and the exertion of running an entire block, I walked back up the hill to my house. I remember feeling very foolish, embarrassed, and ashamed. I don't think I ever told my mama that I had thought she left me.

This feeling has come back to me periodically throughout the years but I had never identified what it was. 

But now it had finally been revealed to me what I was battling! I went to the Lord when I got home and talked to Him about it. I gave Him my fear of abandonment. I knew it wasn't actual abandonment, because that has already been taken care of. I know I am not abandoned because that is contrary to the Word of God:

Those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You. Psalm 9:9-11

In Isaiah 53 His word says "He was despised and forsaken of men."  He took care of this at the cross in our place so we don't have to be! That is awesome news! 

My mother, father, and brother went to be with Jesus a long time ago. It's been over twenty years. My children grew up, went to college, and went on to follow their dreams like I wanted them to. They are happily living their lives, and I am truly happy for them, but they are all in places far away from me so I don't see them often. 

It appears I have been left all alone. However, no matter how many times the enemy comes to me and tells me I have been abandoned and left here all alone, I can simply turn to him and declare the truth by using the Word of God to combat his lies.

I am NOT forsaken, and I am NOT abandoned. Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Psalm 27:10 NLT 

If you are battling the lies of the enemy about anything, write down all the scriptures you can find that contradict the lies and say them back to him whenever he whispers those lies in your ear. 

Write them on post it notes and put them on your bathroom mirror, above the kitchen sink, or anywhere else you want to remind yourself of how to fight those lies.

Also, put on some worship music and sing along with it. A sure way to defeat the enemy is to worship Jesus. 

Whatever you may be battling, Jesus has defeated it. Declare it, believe it, live it!

I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 NASB