Things are Looking Up

In my life, bouts of mild depression have always come and go; this is normal for me. I'm so much better than I was when I was first diagnosed with severe depression around 25-30 years ago, but life is still sometimes a tightrope. I find it helps, of course, to pray and read my Bible daily, watch my diet, and make sure I get my exercise, which is mostly walking. Lately, even with all that I've been a little down and looking for something to bring brighten my mood.

I tell you this not to gain sympathy or pity, but to encourage. Sometimes when depression tries to creep back in, I start to feel like I don't measure up; like I'm not as good as others. I want to close myself in away from people and not even go outside. I know, however, that this is the opposite of true, and of what I need to do. 

I know from years of walking on this side of the darkness I was once in that I am not the only one. If others can be encouraged by reading about my struggles and victories, I have to share.

So, in looking for something to perk up my mood, I decided to re-watch (for the 4th time I think) the original Downton Abbey series that was on Masterpiece Classics and aired on PBS for six consecutive years starting around 2012. I have all six seasons on DVD, plus the 3 full length movies, but they are also on Prime.

Success! Clouds of despair have been once again dispelled. Watching this has helped me out of the slump I was in. I had my 1 or 2 (or occasionally, 3) episodes to look forward to every evening. I find that a little treat like this keeps me going. I can do my chores around the house as usual and have the energy to get through the day, knowing I have my "show" to look forward to. 

I finished the series Saturday night and last night I watched the first full-length movie. I am feeling so much better! I have 2 more movies to go and I'm already thinking about what will be next.

In other news, because I still have a determination to have a daily walk since March 2025, I'm still walking! I managed to do this even when I was feeling down, because deep down I know I have to in order to prolong my mobility. In spite of not feeling like it, I've managed to walk 6 days out of 7 for the past month, so I'm still getting walks in for my health. I'm so thankful I'm able to do this, but it's not like I'm bounding with energy. At my best I'm not a high-energy person. I struggle some days to get out there and put one foot in front of the other over and over again until I've walked for at least 30 minutes. Other days, I walk 2 miles. Most of the time, it's 1.5 miles; that's my average.

I'm on a quest to read all the Mitford books (by Jan Karon) and I do off and on, but the next one I needed was not in at the library. Instead, I read a book I bought at the library book sale, The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry. Delightful book, set in England.

Now I'm reading The Thursday Murder Club.

I also went on a short little shopping excursion with my daughter and grandkids last weekend. We checked out our town's brand-new Aldi and walked through a local flea market looking for treasures, which is a favorite activity. 

So, things are looking up.

I haven't taken as many pictures while walking lately, but I'm posting a couple. I hope you are all doing well. I'm actually fine; pressing on in spite of occasional blues.

Until next time, blessings, friends!

"I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13 NLT

Shielded in the Storms

I haven't posted in a while, but I'm still walking daily; as much as the crazy winter-spring weather will allow. Stormy weather and extreme cold, back-to-back this week, teamed up to keep me indoors some. I may be investing in a walking pad for those days so I don't lose momentum. 

In my last post, there was snow on the ground. We only got the one snow this year, sadly. It's long gone, of course. I think it was mostly gone when I posted in mid-February. 

The creek finally got replenished with all the spring rains we've been having. I'll post a video of it that I took the day after the first big rain a couple of weeks ago. It was back to being a real babbling brook. I love the sound of it. Somehow it perks me up and brings me joy.

As I've said before, I'm all about the joy. I try to immerse myself in things that bring me joy; books I love, good music, flowers, and just a good walk in nature. Of course, I also try to hang around people that bring me joy, like my family and friends. These are all helping me a lot lately to rise above the dark days when they come, which are happening not nearly as often as in years past. Focusing on the good and the joy that is around me is so important for my mental health. 

Anxiety tries to invade, with the thunderstorms and threats of tornadoes that are prevalent in this season, but I pray scripture out loud (don't laugh; it works!) on stormy days and I distract myself with a good movie or book to take my mind off it. 

Another thing that helps me lately is being thankful for the blessings in my life. I'm thankful for my family and friends, of course. I'm also thankful for little things, too, like my weekly sugar-free caramel macchiato over ice, beautiful sunsets, and babbling brooks.

If you really look, you'll see something to be thankful for. 

Hope this brought someone some encouragement. Until next time, blessings, friends.

"The Lord is my strength and shield. I trust him with all my heart. He helps me, and my heart is filled with joy. I burst out in songs of thanksgiving." Psalm 28:7 NLT

*PS. The above scripture is a good one to pray during storms. God IS my strength and shield in storms.

Coffee and Other Things

It occurred to me tonight that I have been retired for four years, as of June 30, and I've lived in my current home in the town where my daughter and family lives for 4 years next week. I got the keys and started moving into my rented condo on Sept. 15, my oldest son's birthday. 

Lots of things have changed in the past 4 years. Some of these are serious, some are funny. I'll list some of them below.

First change I complained about: there was no drive through Starbucks.

This was huge to me at the time. We had a really good one back home, and even though I only budgeted for it a couple times a week, I had it down to a science. I could get through there and still get to work on time, in school traffic. This is kind of a funny one; coffee is, after all, necessary for the sanity! Especially when I was working in a school office and needing to be kind to co-workers, parents, and students when they needed something from me first thing in the morning. Coffee is vital! LOL!

Seriously, though, over the past 4 years I have discovered no shortage of drive-through coffee shops. These days, I only treat myself once a week, on Monday after my morning walk. Plus, I have discovered that iced coffee is quite good when one is sweaty after a brisk walk. I never liked iced coffee before.

This brings me to my next change in the last 4 years: Walking. This isn't something I was missing from home, but it is definitely something I needed to be doing. I've gone from walking about a mile once or twice a week (only when the weather was just right) to walking every day. During summer I was skipping Sunday since I go to church in the morning and it was too hot even just before sunset to walk, but I'm starting to walk Sunday evenings now that it's a little cooler. I walk 1.5 miles minimum every day; on 2 days a week I walk the "through the woods" path which is 1.75 miles. Two things led to this, as I mentioned in an earlier blog: One, I feared I was losing my mobility, which resulted in my kids buying me a really good smart watch to track my walking, and two, I found the BEST walking path system ever.

Finally, the 3rd change. At the end of 2021, I had still not found a doctor and was having to drive back to my doctor back home 3.5 hours away. I have a good doctor here now, plus I discovered something wonderful. The doctors' offices, and even the hospital, where I had an endoscopy about a year ago, are FIVE MINUTES from my house.  There are some really good doctors here, and so close! Back home I was having to drive 20-30 minutes to the far side of the larger city I lived close to, so this is a good change. 

I have to conclude that overall, even though I STILL love and miss my hometown, and my friends and family that are there (and I always will), I am adjusted well here in my new environment. 

I have a good church home here, where I have friends I love. My daughter's house is 10 minutes away instead of 3.5 hours. And I have found that I LOVE walking (who knew?). 

And of course, there's a drive through coffee place just a few blocks from my house. 🤣

I'm blessed! Blessings to my friends!

"I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27:13,14 NIV

Thankful

Yesterday from 11am-7pm, Chick-fil-A was in town. As usual when they come here, about once a month, they were a hit. I stood in line for probably 20 minutes for my delicious chicken nuggets and waffle fries.

And they were yummy! I was finally able to eat without pain, following my endoscopy procedure that I had just had 3 days before, on Tuesday. Everything except the most bland food was burning as it went down, due to the fact that the doctor dilated my esophagus. (Aging problems; a subject for another day).

I was so thankful to be able to eat something besides mashed potatoes, especially since my favorite chicken place only graces us with their presence once a month.

Yes, my friends from my hometown of Van Buren, I know you have a whole restaurant of said chicken as compared to my monthly food truck. I’m so happy you finally got one! I’ll be eating there on my next visit back home.

I’m just grateful they have started coming here with a limited menu on a regular basis.

That’s the theme of this blog post; by the way. I’m learning to be thankful in all things. I look for things to thank God for, but I don’t have to look very far. He is SO GOOD!

As I stood there yesterday waiting to buy my supper, I was thankful for the pretty sunset going on behind the food truck.

After I got home, I was thankful I didn’t have pain eating my supper.

I was thankful yesterday morning that we got a nice rain shower for about 30 minutes. We had gone a while with no rain in these parts.

I’m trying to post more often, and when I saw the sunset yesterday evening I knew what I needed to write about.

I am thankful for so many things, but I only listed a few. Until my next blog post, take care, my friends. God bless you all.

“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18 NASB

Letting Go and Letting God

Guess I'll catch you up on recent events. The last time I posted I was all

excited to see my hometown high school band at a competition 2 hours away. Well, I guess by it's evident that I didn't get to see them this year. If I had, I would have posted about it. It just wasn't to be.  

I haven't seen them perform in person for the last 3 years. It's disappointing; as a lifelong band mom I love marching band, but especially the one all my kids were in. I'm hoping to make better plans next year and either go back to my hometown for a ballgame or get to one of the competitions that are not too far away.

It seems I'm in a season of letting go of some things. As much as I love watching marching bands, I have finally realized that the season for that part of my life has passed. I will still get to see bands perform, but not with the regularity I did for all those years I lived practically in the shadow of the football stadium.

Honestly, being so far away from where I grew up, raised my family, and worked for my whole life until 2 years ago has been so much harder than I had anticipated. I had NEVER lived anywhere else; not even for college. I went to college as a non-traditional, older student with a full-time job. 

I'm adjusting, but wow. It has not been easy for this senior citizen. I have a new appreciation and respect for those of you who have relocated one or more times. 

I'm also in a season of embracing the new. As I have allowed Him to, God has been showing me things and people to add to my life. I guess I'm stubborn, because I didn't "get it" the whole first year I was in this new town. He's been showing me that while I have had to let go of some things of the past, He is opening my eyes to what I have around me.

I have family, and that is amazing! They are the reason I moved here. I also have friends and events right here.

For instance, Last Sunday afternoon I went to the Winter Concert of the local symphony, which was held on the auditorium of the university here. It was amazing! I love classical music, and it is so much better in person. The whole concert was wonderful, but there were two pieces that stood out. 

First, they performed one of my favorite Christmas songs, Sleigh Ride (the arrangement by Leroy Anderson, complete with the "jazzy part." Has to have that for me). Second, they performed the Hallelujah Chorus from The Messiah, by Handel, complete with a choir. Even though I always listen to this every Christmas, I hadn't heard it in person in a number of years. It was so moving; it brought tears to my eyes.

This is one of the new things I have available to me that I have come to accept and embrace as part of my new life here. Basically, I had to "let go and let God" show me some of the blessings He has for me here, where He prompted me to move.

So I have family, I have a church family that I am getting to know and love, and now I have the music I love so much. God is so good. 

Thanksgiving Day was a good time with family for me. We had a lot of good food, some great fellowship, and fun. We had times of laughter, some good belly laughs. After stuffing ourselves, we all went for a walk. It was a beautiful day in my neck of the woods; upper 50s and not a cloud in the sky at the time of our walk. After our walk we had dessert, and after that we played Pictionary. Family time is the best.

I totally meant to be started on decorating for Christmas by now, but I've been busy. I plan to start this weekend. I'll post pictures of my Christmas decor in an upcoming post.

Be blessed, my friends. I hope your Thanksgiving was a good one. I pray that if you are having to let go of some things you hold dear, as I have, that God will show you something good He is bringing to you, waiting for you to embrace.

"There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every season under heaven..." Ecclesiastes 3:1 

Just When You Least Expect It

Well, after 3 1/2 years, it finally happened...I got Covid. I took every precaution, at least until very recently. I had the first two Covid vaccines and 2 boosters. I am up to date on all that, and yet here we are. 

So, in spite of a positive test this week, I'm doing much, much better and am almost back to normal. 

I don't have any idea where I was exposed. Friday and Saturday, I had been to Walmart, and to a local restaurant. I really don't get out much. I'll probably never know where I was exposed to the virus.

The weekend was normal for the most part, but Sunday night I started to get a sore throat and slight headache. I checked my temperature and by bedtime it was about 98.7, which is close to normal for most people. I went to bed thinking it would be ok in the morning. Allergies, right?

Monday morning my throat was still sore and my temp was 99.2. Still not a high fever, but definitely not normal, either. So after I got dressed I reluctantly went to Walmart (being careful to wear a mask into the store) in search of Covid tests.

There were none. The pharmacist said they had put out a new shipment on the shelf that morning and they were all gone within an hour.

There's really no other option for tests in this town; there's only one Walmart. There is a Walgreen's, and other pharmacies of course, but I had heard that cases were up in the area so I figured they were probably out as well. So I headed for the walk-in clinic. I felt it was the best option; after all, I had a sore throat and slight headache. I didn't really feel that well. Plus, if I was contagious, I didn't need to be going all over town.

After a short wait, I was called back and tested for strep and Covid. And the winner was: COVID.

I was truly shocked. I had really thought I would "out-run" this virus. I still carry hand sanitizer in my car and use it after every visit to a store. I usually try to shop in off peak hours to avoid crowds. I had all the vaccines. Still, it finally caught up with me. I tried my best to stay out of its way, but it caught me anyway. 

I lamented to the doctor who broke the news to me, (who very wisely stayed all the way over by the door and wore her mask) that I had really thought I'd never get it, but I had let my guard down some recently by not wearing a mask anymore, even after I had heard that cases were up in the area. She consoled me by telling me that eventually everyone would probably get it, and that most people lately were having mild cases.

She told me to go home and quarantine until September 3. On that day and the following 5 days, I could be around people by wearing a mask.

Of course I did some research. This latest variant is more contagious and the incubation period is shorter--about 3.5 days according to latest data. But the consolation is that it's milder and lasts only about 5 days. 

So, I tested positive on Monday and it's now Thursday, day four. I am so thankful to have had a mild case. In earlier days of the virus, I lost friends to Covid. I knew it could be brutal.

By the grace of God, I have gone through the various stages pretty quickly.

Monday--sore throat and low-grade fever.

Tuesday--no more sore throat but a raging headache and temperature of 101.5 (my worst day). 

Wednesday--My headache was gone and temp was down to the low 99s, with a hacking dry cough. I lost taste and smell, mostly; I could smell some things and not others.

Today, Thursday--no fever since last night and the dry cough is gone, too. I have a productive cough that is diminishing as the day progresses. I still have diminished taste and smell. I'm hopeful that those will come back.

Thank you to all my friends and family who have prayed for me. I have felt your prayers. God has been right beside me every minute, as He always is.

To my friends back home in the Van Buren area: Sorry I didn't let you know. It kind of blindsided me to be honest. I am almost myself again and as Buddy said on Night Court (iykyk), "I'm feeling much better now!" 

GOD is GOOD. All the time. He sustains me; He is healing me as I type this.

Please take precautions, friends. Covid is still out there, and apparently cases are on the rise with the new variant. 

I leave you with this: Three days out of 4 this week my little daily calendar that has an encouragement or scripture has said things pertaining to our lives being exactly as long as God means them to be. I don't think it's a coincidence. He knows I have lost friends to this virus and was a little scared of it. 

"All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old." Psalm 139:16 NCV

Blessings and love, my friends! <3

Weathering Storms

For southerners the weather in the spring is very volatile. It can turn "on a dime" and produce a tornado in seconds. This is the main reason I don't like spring. I've spent a lot of spring and summer days, evenings, and nights hunkered down, since I was a child, mind you, in the lowest point in my home, away from windows, praying for the weather to play nice, if you please. It "doesn't please" sometimes, though. It barrels on through on its mission to terrify and destroy.

Yes, I "may possibly" have PTSD due to tornadic storms.

Even though I don't technically live in fear, because I know that God takes care of me, the triggers have been in place for most of my life. It's something I have struggled with for years and feel I have come a long way towards overcoming the traumatic experiences that caused me to react the way I do.

We had one of those middle of the night severe weather events last week, and I feel like I need to share what I realized that night. First, I need to give a little background, listing 2 times before that I know for a fact that I survived a documented tornado.

In 1996, my family and I survived a F-3 tornado that evidently and miraculously lifted up off the ground as it got near us. Inside the house (we had no time to go anywhere, and nowhere to go), I felt the pressure drop, and fear gripped me in the form of a sickening feeling. Later, when we went outside, we found our outbuildings picked up and scattered and our trees either gone or lying on the ground. Our house, however, a 14 x 70 mobile home, was to our astonishment completely untouched except for one row of shingles at the bottom edge of the roof, all across the back of the house. It was both terrifying and exhilarating to see how God had protected us.

Fast-forward to 2021. There had been multiple severe weather scares over the years, but never anything like 1996. In May of 2021, though, a tornado touched down mere blocks from me. I was in my small, 900 square foot little wood frame house in Van Buren, hiding in my bedroom closet; the only place in my house without an outside wall. As the wind and thunder roared outside, I was keeping track of the tornado's whereabouts on the TV in the bedroom. It was definitely headed in my direction, but I didn't find out until it was too late to run to the tornado shelter at the school a block away. I heard and felt heavy objects hitting the house as I cowered in my closet, praying for God to protect me. The power went out, but the storm raged. Shaking, from inside the closet I pulled up the TV station on my phone. I watched the storm's track on the radar until the noise outside started to diminish somewhat. 

I learned later that this was an EF-1 tornado. It did quite a bit of damage in my area; mostly uprooting trees and tossing them about. The loud heavy objects I heard and felt hitting my house were large branches of a tree in my backyard. One of them took down my powerline to the electrical pole behind my house.

A dear friend of mine called, then came by to see if I was ok and offered to take me to her house. I was shaken, but extremely thankful to be unhurt. There was no visible damage to my house or car from what I could tell in the dark. I accepted her offer of hospitality and left with her to stay in her guest room that night. Air conditioning is important in May in the south! Even though technically I would have been ok in my house, with no AC and no ceiling fan there would be no sleep. I opted not to stay there that night, since I was quite rattled from the storm I'd been through. 

So as you can see, I've lived through some trauma in the past. Unlike the 1996 tornado when I huddled in my living with my family under the couch we had turned over for protection, for the last 25 years I have ridden out the storms alone; at least, with no friend or family member with me. God was always with me, though.

Last week, I was awakened at 2:30 am by the tornado siren. I jumped out of bed, and muttering "great!" under my breath, I grabbed my phone and took shelter in my bathroom. Pulling up a "local" (Springfield, MO) TV station thanks to an app on my phone, I was hoping to see that the actual storm was in another area of the county (the sirens blow in the county where I live now regardless of where in the county the storm cloud is). However, to my dismay, I discovered there was a rotating cloud just west of my neighborhood, headed right over me. Once again, I was hiding from a storm and praying for protection. Praise the Lord, it stayed in the air and passed over me without causing any harm. I went back to bed as soon as it had passed, but it took a while for me to go back to sleep.

As I was attempting to go back to sleep at 3:30 am last Thursday morning, I was thanking God for keeping me safe. It then occurred to me that He has always kept me safe, regardless of the severity of damage that happened outwardly. From the bad storm of '96 to the smaller but still damaging storm 2 years ago and all the way back to my childhood, HE has been with me in every single storm.

I do have a point to make. Not all storms are weather storms. We all have storms of various kinds in life that we go through. God never promised we wouldn't have storms, but He did promise He would protect us in those storms. I am thankful for His protecting hand on me in all the storms of life. That is the point of this long post today. 

If you haven't already, please put your trust in Jesus and you will never weather a storm alone.

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. Psalm 57:1 ESV

57 

Seasons on the Patio

I haven't posted from the patio in almost 2 weeks. I took pictures, but never managed to get the writing done. Then, the time change. Ugh. I don't mind it either way, but please, can we stick with one or the other and not change it anymore?

It's been so interesting (to me, anyway) to record the path of the sunrises; well, at least the moment the sun tops my barrier of trees in the backyard and invades my morning coffee time.

In the summer, the sun came up in the northeast, the far left hand side of my backyard. By late October, it was coming up in the southeast, the far right corner of my yard. It was also coming up later and later, giving me more time to get my coffee and get out there before the "sunrise."

I guess I'm easily entertained, LOL.

I haven't made it out there this week, but I have pictures from last week and the week before. The first picture, from Oct. 31, shows the sun bearing down on my trusty umbrella, which allowed me some shade for a little while.

The second photo of my coffee (which actually had steam rising from it) was taken last Wednesday, November 2.

I've really enjoyed this season of sitting on my patio in the mornings. I'm not sure how it will go once it's colder out. I may take pictures from inside, out the window in my bedroom, which faces my backyard (and the good 'ol morning sun). Thank God for blackout curtains. 

For the first year that I lived here, I was not sitting on the patio. I was a little discouraged that I didn't have an actual deck, but just a little patio which is seven steps down from my porch. It didn't seem ideal, having to tote my coffee, journal, Bible, etc. down the steps. "I'd really like to not fall getting to the patio," I grumbled inwardly.

So I went on for almost a year in this state of discontent.

Then, just before I started posting from the patio, I felt the Spirit reminding me that this is where God has placed me for this season of my life. He has put me in a duplex in a good neighborhood, situated on a cul-de-sac, so there's hardly any traffic. As He has a way of doing, He has shown me in ways I can't divulge here that I'm where I'm supposed to be.

Of course, after feeling convicted, I repented and resolved to make the best of where I am in this season. I have been much more content in the months since I accepted where I'm living. Someday I will probably buy a house, but for now, this is home, and I am starting to really like it.

As for the inconvenience of the patio location, I have discovered I can put my Bible, journal, phone, etc. in a small tote bag. I can then hold on to the handrail with one hand and carry my coffee in the other.

In other news, I went for a walk in a nearby park just before dark tonight. The sun set at 5:06 according to Weather.com, but the sunsets come fast in the mountains. It seemed like it was a little before 5.

I took a few pictures on my walk, which was timed perfectly with the sunset. I didn't plan that; it just turned out that way. This park is a great place to walk, and I try to go there at least 3 times a week when the weather permits.

Thanks for reading my lengthy ramblings. It means a lot.

January Happenings

So here I am, January 29 and just now writing a blog post in 2022. I've lived here in a new town for almost six months now. My first day here, when I rolled into town with the remainder of what was in my house before I went to the closing was August 3, 2021. Six months next Thursday. Wow.

I did a recap of 2021 in my last post, so I won't do that. I will say that I have been to my hometown twice since I moved here. The first time was in December, the weekend of the Christmas parade in my hometown and of course I went to it with one of my best friends who is like a sister. It was awesome! I love Christmas.

The second time was a couple of weeks ago when I had to see my doctor from back home to get my meds refilled for the next six months. I only stayed one night because we were due to get snow here the night I drove back. I got home before the snow started, but not by a lot.

We've actually had snow 3 times since January 1; the first time was January 6. It started snowing after the school buses ran that morning and melted by 3:00 to the point where it was safe to drive, so they didn't even get out of school for it. Unbelievable! Of course, as a public school employee for 26 years, I always think about snow in terms of "will we get to stay home?" Haha! I'm a kid at heart. I felt bad for them; kids and staff members alike.

The second time, January 15, it was snowing when I got up. It snowed all day long, and into the night. However, it was above freezing all day, around 34 degrees, so we only accumulated about 2 inches. It was sticking some, but also melting. It probably snowed a foot that day. It finally dropped below freezing well after dark, then it stopped snowing. Then it snowed again on January 19. My grandma would have predicted that it would; she always said if the snow stayed on the ground 3 days it was waiting on another one. LOL! Old wives' tales. Sometimes they run true.

The January 19 snow stuck with no problem because it was well below freezing. It just didn't snow as long this time. We probably got a little over an inch.

I've included a couple of pictures of the snow on January 15. Snow was the big news for the month, at least for me. I love snow! Even though I'm retired now and get to stay home every day, I still love the snow! It's magical to me, watching it snow.

Oh, and I had birthday number 67. I'm telling my age these days because why not? I'm retired, so who am I fooling if I try to hide my age? I'm feeling really blessed these days that I've been allowed to have another birthday. I hope I have a whole bunch more. I have lots of projects to do that will take many years to accomplish.

Thanks, my friends, for taking the time to read my little blog. Hopefully, I'll get in a routine of writing more often. 

God bless you all! 

You will make known to me the path of life; in Your presence is fullness of joy; in Your right hand there are pleasures forever. Psalm 16:11

In the last bit of 2021...

We are in the last 2 hours of 2021 as I write this. Until a few minutes ago, I have been sitting alone in my living room and binge-watching the first season of Lost in Space (the new version...though I'm old enough to remember the version that was on TV in the 60s). This version is pretty good. I had watched season 1 and then never got around to watching season 2. Now, there's a season 3 and I didn't remember what happened in season 1. So I started over.

It is worth mentioning that God has done an amazing work in my heart, because I actually prefer being alone tonight watching Netflix. In not too distant years past, FOMO (fear of missing out) would have pulled me out of the house to some event. I so desperately needed to belong for so many years. Now, however, I'm content and happy to be alone on New Year's Eve.

This year that is drawing to a close, 2021, brought a lot of changes to my life. At times I look around and marvel at what God has done in my life.

January through June, I finished out my contract in the office of the school where I had worked since 1995. It still blows my mind that I no longer work there.

That portion of the year flew by, and I found myself among the ranks of the retired on July 1. I sold my house, packed up, and moved to a town that is a 3-and-a-half-hour drive away from my beloved hometown; the only place I had ever lived. I miss it, but I at the same time I am loving retirement and having my family so close by. 

It has been an adjustment, but a good one. In mid-September, I found a duplex in a good neighborhood. I really like it here. I do miss my friends from my hometown, but the trade-off is I get to see my grandkids often; at least once a week. 

There are some things I don't like. I was used to living in a small town which was next door to a bigger town. There were lots of different stores, restaurants, and really great medical care. 

Here, we are in a smaller town in the middle of nowhere:

There is no drive through Starbucks! 

The variety of restaurants and retail stores is very limited.

And I still haven't found a doctor who will take on a new patient, which means that in a couple of weeks, in order to get my prescriptions refilled for the next 6 months, I have to go back to my physician in the larger city that I lived close to previously. 

I tell myself, though, that these are first-world problems. I will survive. I don't need to eat out or shop much anyway, and I found a drive though (though non-Starbucks) coffee place.

When it's all said and done, I would do it all again. I am in the same town with my daughter and her family for the first time. Having family across town is amazing. 

My youngest son and his wife visited me for Christmas, and while we were having dinner at my daughter's house, we zoom called my oldest son. So I was talking to all my children that day. 

This year has had its challenges, but it has had good things too. 

I noticed this entry in my journal, and I want to share it.

"Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies...the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house; and You give them to drink of the river of your delights."  --Psalm 36--

Bottom line: God takes care of us wherever we are. He is good and faithful, and I feel really blessed.

Happy New Year to all my friends and family! May 2022 be a good year filled with Hope and Promise for you all! 

6:18 am

Yes. Contrary to popular belief, 6:18 am does exist. I just don't usually see it anymore because I haven't been setting an alarm. Since the middle of March, I've been working from home. My normal body clock, when left to its own devices, wakes me up around 7:30 or 8:00 am. 

Let me back up a bit, though. I'm getting ahead of myself. 

I had called my doctor's office to refill a prescription last Friday afternoon, not realizing that they left at noon on Friday these days. The receptionist took my message and said she would have the nurse call me Monday if she needed to talk to me. I reminded her to please change the pharmacy in my file to [chain drug store], because they have a drive through and I'm trying to stay out of [chain big box store] these days. She said ok.

Yesterday afternoon around 5:30, I got a text message from [big box store pharmacy] saying my prescription was ready. 

Seriously?!

That was my reaction. I was so upset with my doctor's office for ignoring my request to change pharmacies. I have nothing against the one they usually send my prescriptions to, but as I said before, I'm trying to stay out of stores these days.

[Heavy sigh]

So, I decided I would get up as early as I could without setting an alarm (because it's sometimes 2 am before I can get to sleep lately). I reasoned that even by 8:30 or so, it's still not going to be as crowded as it would in late afternoon, when the text came in.

Lying in bed last night, I asked God to wake me up early so I could get to the store before a lot of people were there, confident that He would if it was necessary. Laugh if you want, but He has done this for me before.

You see, in 1998, before smartphones that can be used as an alarm clock even existed, He woke me up at 6am because I asked Him to. True story. I was on a rare vacation in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I had no way to get up early enough to walk on the beach at sunrise, something I desperately wanted to do.

(You can read the blogpost on this blogspot entitled The Tide is Coming In from March 26, 2010. Look over to the right for a list of blog posts from years past).

So when I woke up at 6:18 am this morning, somewhat wide awake, I knew He had answered my prayer and caused me to wake up. I had to get up quickly before I drifted back to sleep and get to the store while it was still only Senior citizens allowed in. I jumped up, dressed, and threw on a ball cap. No time for makeup or hair.

At 6:45 am, I strolled into the store. They didn't card me, which was mildly upsetting. I mean, no one wants to admit they are over 60. I didn't want them to believe me, but they waved me on. Oh well.

No one was in line at the pharmacy. Amazing. I got my prescription, and decided to look around a little to see if some items I have not been able to find could be found. 

Score! I found hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes, rubbing alcohol, and Lysol! 

God not only woke me up in time to get my prescription, He allowed me to find and purchase the things He knew I needed and had not been able to locate anywhere.

But here's the best part:  When I got back home, I had my prayer time and this is part of the entry for today in the devotional I'm reading out of right now:

 "Come to Me for all you need...there is nothing you need that I cannot provide."

Sometimes, we think we know how to take care of ourselves. I tried, by asking for my prescription to be sent to a drug store with a drive through.

Nothing wrong with that; I believe God gives us wisdom to do things to take care of ourselves. I was doing what I thought was best.

But God had a better plan.

I would have missed a blessing if I had simply gone to the drive through pharmacy. Because I went inside at the big store I was trying to avoid, I was able to find the hidden treasures God wanted to give me--and you know as well as I that in today's world, they are "treasures."

My God is an amazing God! He is my Provider!  

Thank you Father, for always providing my needs. Thank you for always knowing what's best for me and for guiding my steps. You alone know what I need and you never cease to amaze me at how you provide it for me.

You are an Awesome God! 

 

The New Normal

The last time I wrote, less than a week ago, it was still reasonably safe to go to the grocery store. Groups of 50 or less were allowed to meet, and all restaurants were still open.

Today, everyone is being urged to stay home, groups of 10 or less can gather, but even that is considered inadvisable. All restaurants are closed to dining in, but you can still order take-out. How much difference 5 days can make in this quickly changing, virus-avoiding world we find ourselves in.

Our new normal, for now anyway.

I watched my church service online this morning, as I'm sure many of you did. I enjoyed it so much more than I thought I would. I was concerned that it wouldn't feel like being at church, watching it on YouTube. However, I've been at home since my school office shut down Tuesday afternoon, so I found that it was nice to see people I know, even if I wasn't in the same room with them. 

This introvert apparently does enjoy some human interaction now and then and I kind of miss the small amount I have found I need.

I hadn't planned to write again until a week had passed, but everything is happening so fast. I have been thinking (I find I have lots of time to do that now) and reflecting on things that I would like to share.

I am thankful for some things, and I just can't keep it to myself.

First thing, I am SO THANKFUL for the internet! If this pandemic had occurred even 15 or 20 years ago, even though we had the internet then, the technology had not evolved enough to allow us to function as well as I'm finding we can. Today I attended church online, FaceTimed with grandkids, and chatted with people through texts and Facebook. Yes, the virus is still a threat, but thank GOD we have the technology we do today.

Second, I'm thankful for the kindness that my co-workers and friends have shown me. I was venting on Facebook this afternoon (I should never do that!) and lamenting that the grocery pick-up was next to impossible because the store was out of stock on so many items. Since I'm 65, making me technically in the high risk group (although I am one of the youngest of the senior group), several people offered to go to the store for me. I almost cried, it was so sweet! I am touched and encouraged for the kindness that people are displaying toward each other during this crisis. So I am thankful and so grateful to all those who reached out to me this afternoon. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, if some of you who offered to help me are reading this.

Finally, I am so thankful to God for His word. He is always looking out for us. He never leaves or forsakes those who have accepted Him as Savior, and He always makes a way to take care of us. 

He gives us this scripture in Philippians 4:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.
Philippians 4:6-8

There is always something to be thankful for. It's a dire situation, but the blessings are there, you just have to look for them. When you do, turn your eyes heavenward, and thank God!

We are all in this together. Stay safe, take this situation seriously, but remember to be thankful to God for taking care of you. 

We are going to be ok.

From Glory to Glory

I skimmed through old journals tonight. What an eye-opener!

I had gone back though them 8 or 9 years ago in much the same way, when I typed them into Word documents. As I typed, I put in little notes like "I was very spiritually immature in those days" or "my focus was all wrong back then." Then I proceeded to impart, in the "editing notes," with all the wisdom and insight that hindsight gives to a person ten years in the future how much better I am today. 

This made me chuckle. Of course I can see the folly of my ways 10 or 20 years later. Anyone can look at something they wrote eighteen years ago and feel superior to that foolish, immature, baby Christian.

This is one of the reasons I journal. I want to remember the good things in my life, and I am thankful for how far God has brought me, even though I cringe at some of the things I thought God was saying to me. I really do know more who I am in Christ these days than I did in 2001. However, the main reason I have to write it all down is so that I don't forget the miraculous things God has done for me.

This is how I encourage myself in the Lord. In the dark times, when I feel like I have nothing to say that is blog-worthy, I can read and remember the times that God provided an absolute miracle for me and be encouraged. 

My heart is a little lighter when I am reminded that God touched me in my prayer closet once many years ago when my heart was consumed with grief over a devastating loss and He healed my broken heart on the spot. I was still hurting for a while, but I had hope and was able to function again after that very real and miraculous encounter.

It gives me the strength to keep going when I read that God was still faithful to provide for me even when I wasn't being a particularly good or wise steward of His blessings at the time. I can see that I struggled back then and got through it, so I know I will this time, too.

I read about the times my children, grandchildren, and very dear friends who have become family to me were together and I am thankful they are in my life. We may be far apart geographically, but in our hearts we are next door neighbors. I truly believe that distance doesn't have to effect deep relationships of the heart. We can choose to hold those dear to us in our hearts whether we see them daily or once a year. It's just like no time has passed when we do see each other again, because God has connected our hearts.

Reading tonight, I was reminded that in ten years I will most likely feel the same way about the journal entries I am writing this year as I did about the ones from a decade ago. I will snicker and roll my eyes and think "how spiritually immature I was!"

That's just the way it is, though. We are not staying the same; we who are in Christ are going from glory to glory:

"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into His image with intensifying glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Cor. 3:17-18, Berean Study Bible 

Looking back through old writings every once in a while is beneficial to me because it reminds me of the wonderful things God has done for me. I might try to rationalize them all these years later and downplay their importance and validity, had I not written all about them in my journal.

Also, even though I read about some of my past and shudder at how silly and inexperienced I was in my Christian walk, it encourages me to know that I have grown up a little. God is at work in me, changing me and transforming me, one day at a time.

God's Timing

One of my absolute favorite Christmas albums is by Mannheim Steamroller. On this particular album, there is a medieval sounding tune called "Fum, Fum, Fum." I know it's silly, but I love this! Anytime I hear it throughout the season it instantly lifts my mood and brightens my day.

On the last Monday to work before Christmas break, I was dreading the day. We were having semester tests at school and it's always a busy and stressful time in the office. That particular morning, though, as I got in my car to head to work, that favorite little Christmas tune started playing as I started the car.

Wait a minute. It was just where the CD happened to be right at that moment in

time, right? What's the big deal?

I will tell you. I do NOT believe it was an accident or coincidence. I believe it was God's timing, because He knows it's my favorite and it would instantly lift my spirits. I sat there and thanked Him before I backed out of the driveway for timing it so that song would play when I needed it so badly. He cares about even little things like a silly song that makes me happy. For some reason, I was deeply affected and suddenly very aware of God's timing. I marveled at the fact that He has every detail of our lives in His hand.

Fast forward to New Years Day. 

I've always seen it as a day of promise, of new beginnings, and writing resolutions. A day to watch the Tournament of Roses parade and eat the traditional New Year food. I usually go into a new year hopeful for improvement in some areas of my life while reflecting on what was good and bad in the previous year and thanking God for His guidance, blessings, and protection.

This year, however, I came into the year with a broken bridge. Yes, you read that right  The back tooth, the anchor of a four-tooth bridge in my mouth broke, but remained in place, before Christmas. I was able to get an appointment on December 29 to get some preliminary work done and made an appointment to get the rest done in January.

New Years Day the tooth anchoring the other end of the bridge came loose and the whole bridge fell out in my hand.

Happy New Year!

This was not exactly how I had envisioned 2018 starting out. I was at first horrified, because there was now a gap near enough to the front which revealed that I obviously had a tooth missing. My pride was severely damaged. As I gave it all to God, though, He began to reveal to me that it was not as bad as I had thought it would be when it first happened. Count your blessings and be thankful for the timing, I heard as I waited before Him.

Hmm. Blessings, you say? Let me see.

First, it was a blessing that the whole thing started in the previous year, because I still had insurance available for 2017 that would pay for 1/2 of the first part of the repair work.

Second, because part of this was paid for out of last year's insurance, there would now be enough to pay for the rest of it out of this year's.  Perfect timing.  

Timing? Honestly, if it had happened earlier in the year last year or just a little bit later, it would have been a huge financial burden, because it would be mostly out of pocket.

God's timing. 

The timing of this whole event was arranged by God. I am extremely thankful for this.

I was able to go in the next day and my dentist worked some "magic," gluing the front tooth and one connecting fake tooth back in temporarily until my appointment later in January.

So I became suddenly aware of God's timing in December, when my favorite, whimsical little Christmas tune was played just for me. This  is my word for 2018: timing. He has continued to unfold things in HIS TIME, and I am utterly amazed. I believe I will continue to see His amazing work revealed to me all year, and the timing will be perfect, because He is perfect.

Happy New Year, even though I waited until January 31st to tell you. I've been unable to get the words out until tonight, when it all came into focus for me.

I think it's the way it was supposed to be. It's in God's timing. 

My times are in Your hand; Deliver me from the hand of my enemies and from those who persecute me. Psalm. 31:15 NASB

The Perfect Life

It was a particularly busy day at work one day recently. The whole day it seemed that I would no sooner start on one project until 2 more came up almost simultaneously. There was a steady stream of people in and out of my office needing something or asking questions. There were deadlines to meet, places to be, and a stack of things to do.

I fuss about it, but I love the pace of my job. I thrive on it.

I took each thing as it came, as I have learned to do, and pushed through.  Days like that, though they may seem overwhelming, do at least make the day seem to fly by.  In the midst of all the busyness, though, the Lord prompted me to write about a question that came up as I was reflecting on this chaotic day.

What would I be doing right now if I had been given the perfect life I always thought I wanted?

In the seventies when I was a teenager, I remember thinking a perfect life would be to get married, have children, and be a stay at home mom all during their growing up years. Before you judge me too harshly, remember one little detail: In those days it was quite common for mothers to stay home with their children while the husband went off to work everyday to "bring home the bacon." 

I had a brief ambition in high school to go to business college and be trained in office administration before getting married. However, I fell in love my senior year in high school, and the fleeting ambition to go to college fell by the wayside. After high school graduation I got married at eighteen and had three children within the first decade of our marriage. I got to stay home with my children part of the time, but for the most part, my dream life was not working out like I had planned because:

I kept having to return to the workforce.

Except for a few precious years, I was a working mom. I was thinking about what life was like when my children were small. I can never really know what "might have been," like George Bailey did in It's a Wonderful Life. I have an idea, though, that what I thought I wanted was not at all what I needed.

I remember being unhappy about having to go back to work when the youngest started first grade. The monetary strain of raising a family caused the need for me to seek a job. If I had stayed home, though, the chain of events that unfolded over the years would not be the same.

For one, I'm quite sure I would not have gone to college. The job I was forced to seek out got me out of the house and allowed me to be more comfortable around people. Back then, I was such a timid shadow of the person I am today. I gained confidence in my abilities by learning this new job. This reawakened my love of learning--I remembered that I love school!  The possibility of college entered my mind. As my confidence increased I worked up the courage to take a chance and enroll in "Intro to PC," my first college class. 

Because I found the courage to go to college, I discovered my fascination with technology. Who knows if I would even know how to use a computer if I had my "perfect life?" I love working with computers; I continue to learn as I go and have never been afraid to try the next new technology. 

After I had been at my job for about 6 years, I felt led to apply for another job. It was almost a year later that I got that new job. Here I was around technology more and more, and as communication in the workplace evolved from memos on paper to emails, I adapted to the changes. Because of this job, I now had access to email in the nineties, about the time when it was becoming a new way to communicate. The internet was a new, exciting thing and I was eager to learn about it.

Finally, and most importantly, I might not be a Christian. It may sound like a stretch, but if I hadn't been forced to go out and get a job, I might never have had the courage to try a new church. It was only because my daughter wanted to go to a local church after she had a God encounter at a youth outreach they held. Even though I was raised in church, I never knew Jesus as my personal Savior. I gave my heart to Christ while going to this church that my daughter wanted to go to. 

My life began to change when I accepted Christ as my Savior at age 39.

So, though I was unhappy about it at the time, the adversity in my life that caused me to get a job outside the home in the first place was actually a good thing. It led me to college, which sparked a fire in me to learn more. This in turn caused me to get the job that led to my present job, which I believe is a gift from God. 

I can honestly say I am thankful to God for allowing the pain and need that caused me to seek out that job back in 1988. I so desperately did not want to stop being a stay at home mom; I felt like I was deserting my children at the time. Now I see it was all part of God's plan for my life.

As I was reflecting on all the pain and struggles I have been through, I remembered a story I heard. It is said that if the caterpillar has help getting out of the cocoon, it doesn't form properly into a butterfly and will soon die. It's the struggle of getting out of the cocoon that causes it to become what it is meant to be.

My struggles over the years have been painful, and sometimes I just wanted to give up. Literally. In other posts I have shared about my battle with depression, and how I was suicidal at one time. I wasted a lot of time and energy being unhappy about having to work outside the home because it was not what I had wanted. 

It was all part of God's plan, though.

These days, I am so very grateful for God's intervention and guidance. He has guided me every step of the way and I have not one doubt that I am exactly where I was supposed to be all along. I am actually glad that I had to work, because I believe it was part of what God used to help make me who I am today. 

Put your life in God's hands and trust Him to lead you in the ways you should go. He always knows what we need, even if it's not what we think we want at first. 

He always knows best.

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.
Seek his will in all you do, and he will show you which path to take." Proverbs 3:5,6 NLT