Calmer and Cooler

Well, September has come and gone, and just like that...it's October. It seems like it flew by. Now that we are in October, we have slightly cooler temperatures. Only slightly. Summer doesn't seem to have received the memo that its time is over, but that's Arkansas for you.

A couple of weekends ago, I went with my church's 55+ group to see David at Sight and Sound in Branson. WOW! What an amazing show that was! I believe it runs through most of the fall. See it if you can, it's incredible.

In September I had coffee on the front porch a few times; since the rain we had in a couple of weeks ago it has been cool enough in the morning to sit out there. I have always felt like I'm in a better attitude for prayer when I'm in nature. I enjoy the breeze, the blue sky, and my little summer flower garden that is "soldiering on." I keep them watered and in return, they keep on blooming. Though lately they are looking a tad tired and weary; especially the petunias. I think this weekend I'm going to get some mums for out there to brighten up the space.

On my only evening walk recently, I almost waited too late. I was walking fast because it was sundown and getting dark fast. I took a picture of the sliver of moon mixed in with the parking lot lights on the college campus. 

Last weekend I spent a little time by the river. While there, I saw the tiniest little frog! He was mesmerized by the lights on the step he was sitting on. My granddaughter moved him to a safer, less bright part of the yard.

Also while hanging out with family, I sat by a fire pit and roasted marshmallows for s'mores. I love sitting by the fire on an autumn evening. I got a picture of the moon as it was about to set over the river.

Other than those events, it's been pretty quiet around here. I live a boring life, at least by some people's standards, I suppose. Most mornings I walk on the trails at the college and come home and sit by my garden with my coffee. In the course of the day I do other things, like write, work on my Bible study homework, and sometimes work on my photo albums. Of course, there are my visits to the library every other week because I still read every day, though not as much as when I first retired.

I'm glad it's calm. I spent so many years rushing here and there and not slowing down much. Retirement is still wonderful. No complaints here.

Actually, though, even though I've retired from my job, I haven't retired as a Christian. I don't really think we are supposed to retire from the great commission or our spiritual gifts. That is why I write my blog; to offer some encouragement and to point people to Jesus. 

So, that's all I have for today. Enjoy autumn, my friends, and be encouraged.

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NLT

 

Christmas 2022 with Family

December 10-12 (even though the 12th was a Monday): 

Over the weekend I went to see friends and family in my hometown. It was a good visit, but too short. I spent some time with BFFs. We had dinner at a restaurant downtown, then we watched the Christmas Parade.

I also got to spend time with my firstborn, who lives out of state. I hadn’t seen him in too long. I blame the pandemic. We had a nice visit with our cousin and her husband (but forgot to get pictures).

My son and I watched movies, talked and got caught up, got coffee and walked around in the beautiful downtown area, and the last night I was there we drove through the park to enjoy the Christmas lights. It was a great visit.

We didn’t take many pictures, but the quality time is more important than the documentation anyway. We did take a picture of eating biscuits and gravy at our hometown's Braums. Neither of us have one where we live now. I have posted pictures at the bottom of this post.

December 25, Christmas Day with Family.

My daughter posted the following: It started calm. It ended wild. But, that is always the case when Rhett is involved. Absolutely wonderful Christmas!! We even sang Happy Birthday to Jesus! Merry Christmas!!!!

My youngest and his wife drove in to spend Christmas with us. So we had a great time hanging out.

...Christmas with family, continues…

Christmas night after dinner at my daughter's, we came back to my house. My son, his wife, and I opened our gifts to each other. We had our traditional Christmas crackers and even remembered to take a picture.

After a late breakfast we went for a walk. The pond was still mostly frozen because is the extreme cold temperatures we’ve been having. We had to take pictures because we southerners don’t often encounter frozen ponds.

We wanted to go to the library, but they were closed. Hopefully we can go there before they head back home.

December 27...

We went to the library and looked around. My son and his wife had never seen my library here, where I spend a lot of time. It's a fabulous place to be.

Afterwards, they got in their car and headed back to the far away city where they live. It was a great visit, but I was lonely the rest of the day.

I love spending time with my family. Over the course of 2 weeks, I got to see all three of my grown children, and my grandchildren (they live across town from me).

I hope all my readers had a fantastic and Merry Christmas! Blessings to you in 2023!!!

* My apologies for the haphazard way the photos are installed. The options for moving them around have been taken away. So this is what we are left with. *

Work Looks Different These Days

A couple of days ago, I realized I hadn't been writing in my journal. In fact, I became aware that I was not lingering as long to hear from the Spirit in my quiet time in the mornings, when I have prayer and Bible reading. 

Ironically, I finally became aware of this because I lingered a little longer. Yep.

I had been reading Psalm 34 over and over; I read some parts out loud, and I sat and meditated on what its meaning was. The whole chapter is amazing, but I want to focus on this part:

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. Psalm 34:13, 14.  

The last phrase, "seek peace and pursue it" really hit home with me. I started thinking, how do I seek peace?

This led me to ponder why I haven't been sitting as long, listening, and writing in my journal. Then I began to comprehend what was going on:

I feel like I should be "busy;" up and dressed and "doing something constructive." All those years I was in the work force, I was up and "being constructive" by no later than 7:30 am in the morning in the school office. 

It dawned on me that I have been feeling like I'm being lazy. I have falsely believed that "busy is good" and "being still is laziness."

But, as I have discovered in the last few years, I'm a writer. It's actually my only job now, since I retired. Writers have to sit still to write what they need to write. It's how they do their work; it's the method needed to do their job!

Since retirement last July, I have not ceased being busy; and when I am not being busy and on my feet doing some type of physical work like laundry, housework, or sorting through stuff to donate, I have fallen into the trap of feeling guilty for not being productive. 

Sidenote: I've even allowed myself to feel guilty for reading so much more (mostly an hour before bed, or 15 minutes here and there waiting to pick up the grandkids). I've averaged about a book a week since January 1. 

It is probably understandable to still feel like I need to be doing something; after all, I had to pull my non-morning-person self up and force myself out the door to work for so many years. So many years.

Back then, I had a sense of purpose. I knew what I was supposed to do. It was, by the way, a desk job requiring me to sit and do computer work and deposits and all that bookkeeper type of stuff.  Strange that I never felt like I was not being productive by sitting still back then.

It was a wonderful job, and it was given to me by God. I loved my job, and because God gave it to me, He enabled me to be good at it. In and of myself I wouldn't have been able to do it. 

It was actually painful to give it up, but I knew deep in my heart that it was time...time to do the job God has given me for this next phase of my life.

Writing.

God put writing within me a long time ago. It's a gift; part of His spiritual gift in me of encouragement. 

How does that work? A person who has struggled with depression and anxiety for most of her life is an encourager?

Crazy I know. But here we are. However, I always know I have to lean close in and hear from God. I cannot do this without Him. He gets all the glory that way.

So, if He wants me to exercise my gift to write and encourage, He knows I have to have some part of my day to sit and do just that. Therefore, I should not feel guilty for sitting and listening to the Lord when I'm meditating on His word.

Some people are called to do the more physical things, like those called to hospitality. Man, I wish I could do those things! Those people who love to cook and plan parties and stuff like that. God love them, they are so important! We need them. I'm in awe of them; I can't do what they do. 

I am not that person, and I've finally just admitted it.

I can no longer accept the condemnation heaped on me by my own perception of what productivity looks like. I've felt inadequate for far too long. Those people who are naturally physically active people who have the capacity to be more active, those who like to cook and entertain, or the ones who are outgoing and can talk to people with ease are exercising their God given gifts. God put that within them to do those things.

I'm no way trying to say they are better than I am, or I am better than they. Please hear my heart on this. 

They have their job to do, and I have mine.

"Lord, today I accept the assignment You gave me all those years ago when I accepted You as Savior, and I fully embrace it. I will be still and know you are God; and I will write."

Blessings, friends. 💗

Scaredy Cat

My cat Isabel is a "scaredy cat."  She has severe anxiety, which I think was brought on in part by living across the street from the football field when she was very little. The year I adopted her was also the year that our football team decided firing a cannon was a good thing to do when we scored a touchdown.

Izzy wasn't a fan.

She is still afraid of loud noises; things like thunder, large trucks driving down the street, and dogs barking will send her scrambling to get under the bed. A few mornings ago, she was sitting in my lap purring until the dog two houses down decided to start barking.

First, the purring stopped. Then, she started the characteristic fidgeting like she does when she's nervous about something. I knew the next step would be that she would get up and go to her hiding place under the bed.

I reminded her that the dog was outside and she was inside the house where he couldn't get to her. She of course did not listen to me and soon got up and left as I figured she would.

I shook my head and muttered something along the lines of "why won't you believe me that you're safe?" Then it hit me.

We do the same thing.

God tells us in His word to not fear, but we still do. I have battled with anxiety my entire life. I am so much better, but I have weak moments sometimes.

Some nights I lie down in bed, get comfortable and start to drift off to sleep, and then I hear something. Many times I have gotten up out of bed, checked every room, and of course all is ok.

This is when I get into the Word and read the places I where I have found peace. Places in His word like in Psalms calm my heart and help me remember to trust Him:

"I lay down and slept;

I awoke, for the Lord sustains me.

I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people

who have set themselves against me round about."  Psalm 3:5,6.

These days, the environment of society in a pandemic lends itself to being fearful.

Sometimes I have to shut off the news and just believe God is taking care of me. I'm doing all I can do; I'm mostly staying home and wearing a mask when I have to go out. I do grocery pick up for the most part but if I absolutely have to go into a store, I do it early in the morning before it's packed.

Then, I have to Just. Trust. God.

There's a reassuring passage in Isaiah:

"Do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,

Surely I will  uphold you with My righteous right hand."  Isaiah 41:10.

God is watching over me, I know He is. I have to be reminded of it from time to time, though; we all do if we're honest. I'm posting this because I DID need to be reminded, and chances are someone else did, too.

We are going to get through this by trusting in God, by taking Him at His word. There is a Bible full of promises of how He protects His children. We have to read and believe Him. He is our only hope. As the song says, "all my life You have been faithful, all my life You have been so so good..."

I choose to trust in the goodness of God.  Please join me in trusting Him.

Stay as safe as you can and leave this burden of fear in His hands. He is watching over His own. <3

Hiding Behind a Mask

I went into the store yesterday, wearing a new face mask that a dear friend of mine made me. I had to go because I needed my blood pressure meds that I refill once a month. I didn't think of asking for a three month supply before all this COVID stuff started. I will definitely look into that.

I hadn't been inside this particular big box store since March 18 or so. I have been doing my shopping online, and getting pretty good at it. I noticed while I was there that a lot of people were wearing masks, which gave me some measure of relief. The experts say the masks generally don't protect the wearer unless they are the type they use in medical settings, but they protect others from us. Still, it makes me feel better to be wearing one, and they say it's better than not wearing one.

So, this is a fact of life now. I will be wearing a mask anytime I go out in public in the foreseeable future, and many of you will, too, I'm sure.

Even though hiding behind a mask gives me marginal protection, I will still do it. But there is one I hide behind who can give more than just a measure of protection: Jesus. To really be protected in the storms of life--and this is a storm if I ever saw one--we must hide in Him.

Psalm 91 is one of my all time favorite chapters in the Bible. It starts out:

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty. 
I will say to the Lord, "My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!"

I'm staying as close to Him as possible right now, because He is my hope. Farther down in verse 3 it says:

For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence.

I'd say we are dealing with a pestilence. Verses 5 & 6 give a promise:

You will not be afraid of the terror by night, or of the arrow that flies by day;
Of the pestilence that stalks in darkness, or of the destruction that lays waste at noon. 

Then in verse 9 it gets really good:

For you have made the Lord, my refuge, even the Most High, your dwelling place. No evil will befall you, nor will any plague come near your tent.

Yet another place where it says no pestilence or plague will come near us! That's good news. I looked up the word pestilence and it's "a fatal or epidemic disease."

There are three places in just Psalm 91 alone that say God will protect His own from disease. There are other places in His word as well.

Maybe you think I'm being overly simplistic, but I don't care. I'm taking MY GOD at His Word. 

I'm not writing this because I'm not afraid and so I'm telling you to not fear. No, I have my moments of being afraid, I assure you.  I'm writing to remind you to seek God when you're afraid. I still have moments of fear, and when I do, I know where to go; I run straight to my Father and remind Him (even though He didn't forget) that because I put my trust in Him and I dwell in His shadow, He promised me this. 

Sometimes I read it out loud. It increases my faith to hear the word of God. 

We are all in this together, a safe distance apart, of course. But there is One you do not have to stay 6 feet from. In fact, I'd say get as close as you can to God. He is the only safe place.

The end of Psalm 91 says:


"Because he has loved Me, therefore I will deliver him; 
I will set him securely on high, because he has known My name.
He will call upon Me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble;
I will rescue him and honor him.
With a long life I will satisfy him and let him see My salvation."

Peace and love to you all, my friends.



 






 

Uncharted Territory

Hi, it's me, checking in. Still trying to stay positive here in the midst of a pandemic. Still hanging on to a shred of normalcy by getting up and getting dressed in regular clothes (most days, anyway) so I don't schlep around in my pjs every day and not even remember what day it is.

Uncharted territory. I've heard that so many times over the last 3 weeks. We are definitely in it, though. Turns out, March 13 was the last day of on campus school. So bizarre. It's like we went to bed in a normal world one night and woke up in the Twilight Zone.

So, school as we have known it, in a classroom of a school building, is over for this school year. We got the word today from the governor. Because our cases of COVID-19 continue to rise in our state, we will finish out the year with AMI (alternative means of instruction). Mostly online, supplemented with some printed materials that families without internet can use to get school work done.

I totally support his decision. It's really the wise thing to do. Still...

Never in my life have we faced something like this. Teachers that I work with are devastated. This is not how they wanted the school year to wind up. It's not how any of us wanted it to end.

I'm the bookkeeper in the school where I work, so I will have some work to do to finish up the financial aspects of the school year. I will probably find out in the next few days how I'm going to go about that. It's tricky when we have to social distance.

I'm used to being there all summer with very few others in the building since I'm a year round employee, but not like this. Not when I feel vulnerable and scared I'll get the virus if I'm not in my little house.

Yeah, I'm still a little stressed. How could you not be, just a little?

Over the last three weeks (just 3 weeks? it seems like 3 months!) things have changed so drastically. Because people in my age group do not need to be in public unless really necessary, I have developed a system for adding groceries to my online shopping cart as I realize I need something. When it's full enough, then the fun of getting a pick up time slot begins. This is no easy task in itself; there are never enough, and the times are gone quickly.

I have learned so many new things in this short time. Life is not simple anymore; I feel sometimes like I'm trying to outsmart zombies (I hate zombie movies!!!) instead of avoiding a virus. There are so many things I took for granted, but now I have a new set of skills.

I do all my grocery shopping online now. I haven't been inside a store in over 2 weeks. 

I have developed a system now for unloading the groceries after I pick them up. 

I have learned to not touch my face until I have everything I have brought into the house put away.  Groceries, mail, packages from deliveries all have to be processed before being put away.

After I have handled "possibly contaminated" items, I have learned how to wash my hands really really well. 

I go around daily with disinfectant spray, wiping doorknobs, light switches, and other surfaces that might be contaminated with COVID-19.

I could go on, but no need. I'm sure you are doing the same things every day.

I wrote about fear in my last post. I tried to encourage others with scriptures to help overcome it. It's been a tough few weeks, though. I'm taking my own advice, standing on the Word of God and trusting Him. It's not easy, though.

Everywhere I turn, news is interrupting my peace. I finally had to limit the number of times that I check the news in a days' time because it was letting fear overcome me.

Even with the fear cropping up sometimes, I am grateful that I have the option to hide in my house to stay safe. There are some who cannot do that. So I have to say that I am so thankful to all those in the medical profession, who daily walk into their jobs and face this monster virus every day. These people, in my mind, are the new superheroes. I pray for all of them daily.

This is now our world. For how long, we don't know. But I wonder if things will ever be "normal" again. 

*Deep breath.*

So, I just wanted to encourage you to "keep on keeping on," and they used to say in a previous decade of my life, probably way back there in the twentieth century somewhere.

We WILL get through this. God is still on His throne, and none of this took Him by surprise. We need to do what we know to do to stay safe, but ultimately it's up to God. We have to trust Him to take care of us.

I'm trusting Him, and even though I have my moments of being scared, I know He is taking care of me.

Hang in there. Stay safe. Trust in God. Pray for those who are on the front lines of this battle, fighting against this invisible enemy.

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; He is my God, and I trust him. 

For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease."

                                                                                    Psalm 91:1-3 

 


  

When Worry and Anxiety Come

"Look at the ravens. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for God feeds them. And you are far more valuable to him than any birds! Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And if worry can’t accomplish a little thing like that, what’s the use of worrying over bigger things?" Luke 12:24-26 New Living Translation (NLT)

Just days after my last post, Hurricane Harvey slammed into the coast of Texas. For about a week previously I had been watching the weather closer than I normally would, for you see, I have family in Houston. Very close, very dear family; my youngest son and his wife live there. Sure, they are no longer children, of course, but as any mother will tell you, your babies are always your babies, no matter how old they are, no matter that they have been grown and on their own for many years.

When it became clear that Harvey was indeed heading for Houston, I hit my knees, and enlisted my brothers and sisters in Christ to agree with me in prayer. We prayed protection over not only my family but the entire area.

Thursday evening, I texted them to see how they were. I asked if they were evacuating, and they said no, they were on high ground and had supplies.

Friday the hurricane made landfall, southwest of them in Corpus Christi. I checked in on them that evening and was told it was raining a little, "really more drizzly than anything." They had gone for a walk. Life was still fairly normal. They were prepared to evacuate if it became mandatory, but were optimistic that they could ride it out.

At this time, we didn't know that the hurricane would stall out and sit over them for days, dumping tons of water and flooding many areas of the city.

For 5 or 6 days, I texted my son and daughter-in-law about twice a day. Each time, they were fine. Even though it rained, and rained, and rained. By Sunday evening, it was still raining there but my family was still high and dry. I had been praying all along and giving them to God, but I was still nervous and worried about them. I was doing my best to trust Him, but it was so hard.

Then it all changed. A peace settled over me as was praying that evening. It began to sink in what was going on: God had directed them to the exact area of the city to live in when they first moved there several years ago. He knew this was coming, but He took care of them. 

This is one of the times I can honestly say I experienced what Paul talks about when he said:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6,7. NASB

I like the way the New American Standard phrases this passage; "Peace that passes all comprehension will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus..." We can't even comprehend it; we can't get our minds around how He can do that, but He does.

That's exactly what happened. God's peace just enveloped me; it settled over me like a warm blanket on a cold day. Even though I was still praying and still checked in on them, I was not worried anymore. It continued to rain until about Wednesday, but I remained calm.

I know many people were flooded out of their homes; some lost everything. My heart goes out to them. I do not begin to understand why some were flooded and some were not; I just know that God spared my family. They stayed above the flood waters the entire time and even kept electricity. I do not believe it was by chance.

I believe my God heard and answered our prayers, and I wanted to testify to His goodness and mercy. 

"Now to our God and Father be the glory forever and ever. Amen." Philippians 4:20 NASB

Just an Ordinary Moment

I've been having my morning coffee on the back porch as much as possible lately. Most days I am scurrying around, trying to get out the door to work on time and there's just not time. There would be if I got up earlier, but since I'm a night owl that's not likely to happen.

This morning, though, was a Saturday, so I spent some time praying and listening on the porch this morning.

It was cool out this morning, and a gentle breeze stirred the trees occasionally. It was refreshing, that breeze. I would have missed out on that if I had my time with the Lord inside on the couch, like I usually do.

I heard a buzzing sound, and looked over to see honeybees in the bush by the porch. They were not interested in me. They were doing what God created them to do, pollinating the plants. They were minding their own business. They had no plan to come and sting me at all, I'm sure of it.

But I moved to the chair on the other side of the porch, just in case.

I continued to listen and watch. Birds were singing and flying here and there. Little white cottonwood seeds from the neighbor's tree swirled around and around on the wind and finally floated down to the ground. Squirrels scampered in the trees. I looked up and saw the moon, still visible through a gap in the tree limbs above even though it was daylight. Five minutes later, I looked up again and it had moved farther west. I could barely see a bit of it behind the tree limb.

What's the point of all this? I asked myself the same thing at first, but then I realized a profound, simple truth.

I felt a breeze. I heard and then saw bees hard at work. I saw birds and heard their sweet songs. I watched the snow-like cottonwood seeds ride the breeze. I saw a glimpse, just for a moment, of the moon on its daily path.

I experienced these things because I stopped and took the time. Sure, they don't seem significant in themselves. They are normal, everyday occurrences. But God spoke to me in those daily, ordinary things that don't seem to matter.

I noticed nature this morning because I got still. He promised to never leave me, so I know He is with me always. He is always and forever right by my side. But....how many times has He had something to say to me, but I wouldn't be still and listen?

Lord, forgive me for being too busy. I am listening now.

“Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” Psalm 46:10 NIV

In Defense of the Quiet

I woke up on my own this morning, which is a rare treat for me. Normally I am rudely awakened by a combination of an alarm clock and my cell phone alarm (it's hard for me to wake up). For work I have to get up about six in the morning, but this morning it was almost seven when I opened my eyes.  That doesn't seem like sleeping in to many of you night owls out there, and it really doesn't to me, either. In days gone by, this self-proclaimed night owl has been known to sleep until nine or ten, after being up until two in the morning.  However, as I have grown older, I have noticed it harder to sleep past seven or sometimes eight, and I have found it increasingly difficult to stay up for very long past the ten o'clock news.  I attribute this to the many years of having to get up at six for work. We'll just go with that and leave the joys of aging to another post.

Yesterday, the cold temperatures finally got the timing right and coincided with the arrival of precipitation in our area and the result was: SNOW! I am home today on a snow day, and enjoying it immensely. I love snow, as I have written on here before. However, that's not what this post is about. I am merely setting the stage for something that I observed this morning in the few minutes after I got up.

As I always do when I am home on a snow day, I went to the door and opened it to look out on my street and marvel at the beauty of the fresh snow. Why do we do this? The snow didn't melt or disappear during the night. It was still there, and I knew it was, but I opened the door and looked outside for a moment just the same.

I noticed it as I was about to close the door on the beauty of it, with its 25 degree temperature that caused me to shiver. The quiet. There was absolutely no sound. I opened the storm door to listen better. There was a hush in the air, a stillness that probably always comes when it is early, and cold, and people are not out and about yet. I just hadn't taken the time to notice before. I stood there for a minute more, just listening, straining to hear something. There were no sounds of cars driving by, even on the usually busier street a block away. There no sounds of children on the playground at the nearby school. There was not even the sound of a dog barking or a siren in the distance. It was just so SILENT.

As I shut the door, it occurred to me that all these sounds that are usually present because people are up getting their kids to school and going to work were not there because of the snow. The snow and ice on the streets had temporarily shut everything down. Many who did have to work were going later, when the snow had melted some.  

Most people are irritated at the inconvenience of snow and ice. It is considered a nuisance, breaking our routines and causing an interruption in our daily lives. I totally get that. As I said before, this post is not in defense of snow, per se. It is in defense of something else; a side-effect of the snow:

Being still.

This post is in defense of being quiet. "Be still and know that I am God," Psalm 46:10 says. I'm as guilty as the rest of rushing through my day and making sure all the important stuff gets done. However, I'm only shortchanging myself when I don't go to Him in the times when He allows something to slow me down. Strength and refreshing can come in those quiet times, when it seems that life is at a standstill.

Perhaps these inconveniences are in our lives at times so we will stop, just for a moment, and listen. Sometimes, in just a few minutes, the Lord can bring rest to our souls or healing to our hearts. Everything we need is found in Him.  

"The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul." 

Psalm 23:1-3 NIV

Back Off

I have this thing about being tailgated: I hate it.  

I'm sure everyone would agree that accidents are no fun. I have been in a couple where I was sitting still waiting to turn left and was rear-ended.  I can't describe how I felt when I looked into the rear view mirror just in time to see that I was about to be hit and there was nothing I could do about it. It's been nine years since the last one, and I still get nervous when I'm being followed too close. 

The interstate in my area has been under construction for almost a year and a half. Traffic has been a nightmare, and I have avoided driving on it whenever I had another option.  When I did drive on it, invariably I would get stuck in front of someone who undoubtedly thought I would speed up if they got too close. Nevermind the fact that I could only go as fast as the person in front of me, since each side of the interstate is down to only one lane and there is no passing lane. It's maddening.

About the time the construction started, we learned a new song at church, "Whom Shall I Fear?" by Chris Tomlin. One day when I was stuck on the interstate, being tail-gated by a bully, the chorus of that song popped into my head:

"I know Who goes before me, I know Who stands behind,
The God of angel armies is always by my side..."

Immediately, I felt the Holy Spirit telling me, "You don't need to be afraid of someone hitting you from behind.  God is your rear guard and He also goes before you."

Ever since that day, I have had no trouble with tailgaters on the interstate or anywhere else.  I even have peace when driving in heavy traffic.  A few times someone has been a little too close for comfort, but I started singing that song and thanking God for His protection, and they backed off. Seriously, they really did. I was surprised the first time, but I have come to expect it. My God has my back. Really.  

I still don't like being followed too closely, but I have no doubt I will be completely delivered from this fear someday.  Just like everything else He has delivered me from, it is something I have to walk through. I will just realize someday it doesn't bother me anymore.

"The Lord is my light and my salvation--so why should I be afraid?
The Lord is my fortress, protecting me from danger, so why should I tremble?" Psalm 27:1,2 NLT

Our Hope

"Though we are overwhelmed by our sins, you forgive them all.. You are the hope of everyone on earth.." Psalm 65:3, 5. 

Tomorrow is Good Friday, the day on which Jesus died on the cross for our sins. I can never repay the debt I owe to Him for taking on my sins and dying a brutal death by crucifixion.  But the story doesn't end with His death. On the third day, He arose from the dead:  

"After the Sabbath, at dawn on the first day of the week, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to look at the tomb. There was a violent earthquake, for an angel of the Lord came down from heaven and, going to the tomb, rolled back the stone and sat on it...

"The angel said to the women, 'Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay.Then go quickly and tell his disciples: "He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him."’ Now I have told you." 

"So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Suddenly Jesus met them. 'Greetings,' he said. They came to him, clasped his feet and worshiped him. Then Jesus said to them, 'Do not be afraid. Go and tell my brothers to go to Galilee; there they will see me.'” 

"Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, 'All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.'" (from Matthew 28, NIV)

HE IS RISEN!  My Lord conquered death, hell, and the grave and is now at the right hand of the Father in heaven.  "Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." (Hebrews 12:2, NIV)

This is what the scripture in Psalms reminded me of when I read it in my devotions this morning. In my sinful state, I was overwhelmed in my sins. Jesus forgave me, though. So because I have accepted Him as my Savior, I have hope. You can have hope, too, by trusting in Jesus and accepting His sacrifice for your sins. 

I pray that the real meaning of Easter comes alive for you this weekend.

  

Contentment in Winter

There are things I have discovered about myself as I have grown older. Some I am happy about, some things, not so much.  All in all, though, this eye-opening experience of being in my fifties--late fifties at that--has been good.

I have discovered I love being at home.  I'm quite the homebody actually.  When I'm home, I find myself going through everything from closets to kitchen cabinets, from dresser drawers to the out of season clothing stored under the bed. It has been therapeutic for me.  I am learning the freedom of living with less in a nation obsessed with having it all. Four years ago when God moved me to this small house, with its 900 something square feet total living space, I didn't understand what He was up to. As time goes on, though, I am learning so much.  I have been paring down to having only what I love, use, or need, and it is so freeing. This is one of the reasons I love being home.

I have discovered that I don't mind being alone anymore.  I have embraced my singleness, and I love it.  I am convinced I could live like this from now on and not feel slighted by my friends and family. I love them all; they have a place in my heart and I have a place in theirs. God has taught me that when I do need social interaction, He will provide it. I rest in that now and leave that up to Him, knowing the peace of not clamoring to be included in everything. Not only that, I no longer feel inferior to my married friends.  Some people are supposed to be part of a couple; some are not. Whether or not that was God's first plan for me, since I was married for a long time and have children, is irrelevant.  I know He has forgiven me for my part in the divorce, and I am finally at peace about it. Now, I can only look forward.  He has been at work in my heart, healing my brokenness and allowing me to see that He does have plans for me.  He is using the pain I have been through, turning what the enemy meant for evil into good, for His glorious purpose. I look forward to discovering that purpose with joy and anticipation.

I also have discovered, as most of you know, that I love winter. I love it! I am enjoying this year's winter so much! We have had a lot of snow, and it's so beautiful.  God has something to say about that.  He is stirring something in my heart regarding winter, cold, and being dormant.  Stayed tuned; I'll share when it comes into focus for me, when He allows me to.

Winter brings discontent to some, but not for me.  I have embraced it, and I revel in it.

"I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill His purpose for me." Psalm 57:2 NLT

Peace

I have one area of concern tonight: peace. I have been lacking in the peace department of late. 

Lots of factors come into play here; the possibility of drastically rising rates for my healthcare insurance, the government shut down and the domino effects it is having, and the uncertainty that seems to be prevailing in my life right now. In short; I have a bunch of questions with no answers.

The bottom line is this: I have let the thief that comes to kill, steal, and destroy do just that. I let him have my peace. I handed it to him in a nice, neat package tied up with a bow.

Why did I do that? It's simple, really. I started focusing on the things I was afraid of. This is exactly what Peter did, when he started walking on the water toward Jesus.

"Then Peter called to him, 'Lord, if it’s really you, tell me to come to you, walking on the water.'

'Yes, come,' Jesus said.

So Peter went over the side of the boat and walked on the water toward Jesus. But when he saw the strong wind and the waves, he was terrified and began to sink. 'Save me, Lord!' he shouted.

Jesus immediately reached out and grabbed him. 'You have so little faith,' Jesus said. 'Why did you doubt me?'" Matthew 14: 28-31 (NLT).

Jesus rescued Peter when he cried out to Him for help. He is doing the same for me. I just have to keep my eyes on Jesus, not my circumstances, or the BIG SCARY QUESTION MARKS IN MY LIFE.

I also have to remember Philippians 4:6,7: "Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." (NLT)

I'm just reminding myself tonight of something I had lost sight of.  Jesus is the answer.  Period.

"You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you! Trust in the Lord always, for the Lord God is the eternal Rock." Isaiah 26:3,4 (NLT)