Just the Perfect Time

I almost forgot to post this! I went to Walmart around 7:30 tonight, kinda bummed that I had waited so late to go. I live at the west side of town, kind of at the bottom of a mountain and Walmart is at a higher elevation on the eastern end, so it’s uphill almost the whole 2-3 miles there.

I headed toward Walmart, resigned that I would just get this trip over with. Suddenly, as I started up the hill in the direction of Walmart, the moon appeared on the horizon, orange in color like it is as it first rises and appearing so much larger than I’m used to seeing it. I’m not accustomed to seeing it that low on the horizon at my house; I don’t see it until it’s really high in the sky, because the trees and mountainside block it. It was gorgeous; it took my breath away! I couldn’t get a picture because I was driving, but as soon as I parked at Walmart I took this picture.

Of course the picture does not capture just how magnificent the moon appeared as it continued to rise in the eastern sky. I just marveled at its beauty for a minute before I went inside the store to make my purchases.

I believe that sometimes when we’re weary and don’t really want to make the trip to the other end of town that God allows us to delay until He can let us have a glimpse of one of His beautiful creations.

We think we’re going late when really it was just the perfect time.

It made my day.

Blessings to you, my friends.

God is Working on Your Problem

Recently, my daughter and I were talking about my granddaughter, who broke both bones in her leg about mid-shin in late March. It was her first--and last--soccer game of the season. She's still in a cast, although she did finally get a below the knee cast about 3 or 4 weeks ago. We were saying how it had been so long now, almost 4 months, and it seemed like it would always be that way. We can't see any change with our physical eyes.

Of course, we know due to x-rays taken at her most recent doctor appointment that the bones are healing well. We are hopeful that she'll get a walking cast soon. I hope so. She's so tired of crutches, and at times a wheelchair. Not being able to participate in summer activities is getting really old. It's a bummer for anyone, but especially for a 12-year-old girl.

God used this little conversation to remind me that we often doubt He is doing anything about what we pray for. After all, we don't see any changes, so He must have put our request in the file cabinet to revisit later, if at all, right?

Wrong! God is working behind the scenes. In Isaiah 55:8-9 He says:

"For My thoughts are not your thoughts, 

Nor are your ways My ways," declares the Lord. "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, 

So are My ways higher than your ways, 

And My thoughts than your thoughts." 

He doesn't act like we humans do, procrastinating or setting our needs aside. He has a plan for each of our lives. And He hears our prayers. A couple of places this is evident are in the Psalms:

"O Lord my God, I cried to You for help, and You healed me." Psalm 30:2 

"Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all." Psalm 34:19

Also, in Philippians we are encouraged to pray and trust God:

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4: 6-7. 

I don't know if anyone else needed this reminder, but I sure did! It's been a long process for my granddaughter. I've also had some other pressing concerns and seemingly unanswered prayers that have made me question why He has delayed in answering. 

I've actually been kind of down. Not exactly depressed, but not joyful either.

So I decided to put this out there, just in case someone else needed to be reminded that God is at work on your problem! 

We're only human, and we get discouraged. But take heart! As Jesus said: 

"In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world." John 16:33 

6:18 am

Yes. Contrary to popular belief, 6:18 am does exist. I just don't usually see it anymore because I haven't been setting an alarm. Since the middle of March, I've been working from home. My normal body clock, when left to its own devices, wakes me up around 7:30 or 8:00 am. 

Let me back up a bit, though. I'm getting ahead of myself. 

I had called my doctor's office to refill a prescription last Friday afternoon, not realizing that they left at noon on Friday these days. The receptionist took my message and said she would have the nurse call me Monday if she needed to talk to me. I reminded her to please change the pharmacy in my file to [chain drug store], because they have a drive through and I'm trying to stay out of [chain big box store] these days. She said ok.

Yesterday afternoon around 5:30, I got a text message from [big box store pharmacy] saying my prescription was ready. 

Seriously?!

That was my reaction. I was so upset with my doctor's office for ignoring my request to change pharmacies. I have nothing against the one they usually send my prescriptions to, but as I said before, I'm trying to stay out of stores these days.

[Heavy sigh]

So, I decided I would get up as early as I could without setting an alarm (because it's sometimes 2 am before I can get to sleep lately). I reasoned that even by 8:30 or so, it's still not going to be as crowded as it would in late afternoon, when the text came in.

Lying in bed last night, I asked God to wake me up early so I could get to the store before a lot of people were there, confident that He would if it was necessary. Laugh if you want, but He has done this for me before.

You see, in 1998, before smartphones that can be used as an alarm clock even existed, He woke me up at 6am because I asked Him to. True story. I was on a rare vacation in North Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. I had no way to get up early enough to walk on the beach at sunrise, something I desperately wanted to do.

(You can read the blogpost on this blogspot entitled The Tide is Coming In from March 26, 2010. Look over to the right for a list of blog posts from years past).

So when I woke up at 6:18 am this morning, somewhat wide awake, I knew He had answered my prayer and caused me to wake up. I had to get up quickly before I drifted back to sleep and get to the store while it was still only Senior citizens allowed in. I jumped up, dressed, and threw on a ball cap. No time for makeup or hair.

At 6:45 am, I strolled into the store. They didn't card me, which was mildly upsetting. I mean, no one wants to admit they are over 60. I didn't want them to believe me, but they waved me on. Oh well.

No one was in line at the pharmacy. Amazing. I got my prescription, and decided to look around a little to see if some items I have not been able to find could be found. 

Score! I found hand sanitizer, disinfectant wipes, rubbing alcohol, and Lysol! 

God not only woke me up in time to get my prescription, He allowed me to find and purchase the things He knew I needed and had not been able to locate anywhere.

But here's the best part:  When I got back home, I had my prayer time and this is part of the entry for today in the devotional I'm reading out of right now:

 "Come to Me for all you need...there is nothing you need that I cannot provide."

Sometimes, we think we know how to take care of ourselves. I tried, by asking for my prescription to be sent to a drug store with a drive through.

Nothing wrong with that; I believe God gives us wisdom to do things to take care of ourselves. I was doing what I thought was best.

But God had a better plan.

I would have missed a blessing if I had simply gone to the drive through pharmacy. Because I went inside at the big store I was trying to avoid, I was able to find the hidden treasures God wanted to give me--and you know as well as I that in today's world, they are "treasures."

My God is an amazing God! He is my Provider!  

Thank you Father, for always providing my needs. Thank you for always knowing what's best for me and for guiding my steps. You alone know what I need and you never cease to amaze me at how you provide it for me.

You are an Awesome God! 

 

Walk by the Spirit

I've tried to write this testimony so many times, but I could never get the right words to explain it. I think this time I may have succeeded. It must be God's timing.

Many years ago, before I had placed my faith in Jesus as my Savior, I did not know my worth. I grew up in church but did not have a relationship with Jesus. I never even heard of the concept of having a relationship with Jesus until was in my late thirties.

Later, after I had placed my faith in Jesus, I was still very insecure. The challenges I faced as a divorcee with a teenage son in high school were plentiful. The enemy threw everything he could at me to discourage me and he was successful for a lot of years. A whole lot of years.

I didn't know it then, but after the divorce I thought I had lost my identity; I was no longer a wife, so that was not who I was. My mom and dad had passed away so I was no longer a daughter. My brother had passed away, so I was no longer a sister.  My older two children were in college and I perceived erroneously that they no longer needed me, so I had a somewhat emptier nest. Bless his heart, my youngest son bore the brunt of my depression and despair in those early, dark days. He was and still is a good listener and has wisdom beyond his years. I leaned on him a lot, even though looking back, I cringe thinking about what the whole situation did to him.

So I had my son, and a couple of friends who were wonderful, but they weren't supposed to bear the weight of my broken heart. That belonged to Jesus, but I didn't come to that realization for many years; many agonizing, painful years.

As I have mentioned on here before, my need for affirmation, along with the need to know my identity, caused my anguish and desolation to consume me.

I had to belong to someone, somewhere. I had to! Not even in a romantic setting; I just wanted to be part of a family. I tried to belong by taking matters in my own hands.  I left a good, Bible-believing church on a quest for "where I belonged."

All the time, I already belonged to Jesus, and my worth was in Him, but I had not been a Christian for very long, and the divorce derailed my discipleship somewhat. So I didn't know.

I wandered for two years looking for where I belonged. During this time, my friends that I had leaned on so much moved away from my area. Shortly after that, my youngest went away to college.

And the bottom fell out of my world.

In a odd twist of events, shortly before my son went off to college, I had landed in the church where I have now been a member for nearly 20 years. I was not home free, though. I knew I belonged in that church; God confirmed that to me when I walked in the door the first time. However, I still had the gnawing neediness that left me feeling empty and unwanted.

Oh man, it is so humiliating to admit all this! I wouldn't do it if I didn't KNOW I'm supposed to. Someone needs to hear this; to know there is hope for them. I know this is true. I have been stuck, unable to write for months because I didn't know how to say this. Ever balk at something God told you to do? You can't pick and choose what He tells you to do. Feeling stuck? Go back to the last thing He said. Do the thing He put in your heart and get unstuck.

So, here we are. Now I have to do this; it has to be said. It's a fire within me tonight.

So here goes.

I know in the early days of my divorced state I drove people crazy; I would hang around on the edges of groups of new friends I had made. I wanted to be wanted. I hoped and prayed for them to see me and talk to me. If they liked me, I would matter (I subconsciously told myself). I hoped they would invite me to go to lunch after church. I wanted to belong. I had to fill the cavernous emptiness in me.

I was trying to make something happen, instead of trusting God to let it happen --IF it was supposed to--in His timing. Someone very dear to me kept telling me to not force things, just "let it happen," but it was lost on me. I didn't get it.

This went on for way too long. I went to prayer meetings, I stood in lines to be prayed for, and I told all my problems to a few friends I had become close to. I did get some better, but it wasn't until I hit rock bottom about eight years ago that things really started to change.

I was already on anti-depressants, but serotonin levels in my brain are only one factor in the depression I was dealing with. I had serious, deep-seated issues that I had to deal with to be free.

A couple of things happened to help me to find deliverance. First, I went through a Divorce Care class. It was years after the divorce, but it brought a bunch of stuff to the surface that I never even knew was there.

Second, I got some professional counseling. I met on a regular basis with a married couple who were Christian counselors. They knew the right questions to ask me, and most importantly, they knew how to pray. We met, talked, and prayed together for several months. God used them to guide me to deliverance from the junk that had made me so needy and desperate. He used them to show me that I was already free; Jesus had set me free when He died for me on the cross. I came to realize I was sitting in a prison cell, so to speak, but the door was unlocked and the chains I was wearing were just hanging on my wrists, unfastened.

In time, I got up and the chains of depression, despair, and abandonment, as well as many others, dropped off because I was no longer bound. I walked out of that prison FREE, knowing that my worth is in Christ Jesus. I am His and He provides my every need.

It wasn't until that counseling that my eyes were opened to the fact that I was trying to make things happen that I felt like I needed. Just like my friend had been saying. In time I learned to listen to the Holy Spirit; to discern if I was wanting something He either knew wasn't needed or it was just not the right time.

If you struggling with knowing your worth or trying to belong, or any kind of bondage, take heart. If you have placed your faith in Jesus as your Savior, you are His. You belong to Him.  He loves you more than you can fathom.

He will lead you out of the darkness if you will just quiet yourself and listen to Him. Be blessed, my friend!

If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Galatians 5:25 NASB

God's Timing

One of my absolute favorite Christmas albums is by Mannheim Steamroller. On this particular album, there is a medieval sounding tune called "Fum, Fum, Fum." I know it's silly, but I love this! Anytime I hear it throughout the season it instantly lifts my mood and brightens my day.

On the last Monday to work before Christmas break, I was dreading the day. We were having semester tests at school and it's always a busy and stressful time in the office. That particular morning, though, as I got in my car to head to work, that favorite little Christmas tune started playing as I started the car.

Wait a minute. It was just where the CD happened to be right at that moment in

time, right? What's the big deal?

I will tell you. I do NOT believe it was an accident or coincidence. I believe it was God's timing, because He knows it's my favorite and it would instantly lift my spirits. I sat there and thanked Him before I backed out of the driveway for timing it so that song would play when I needed it so badly. He cares about even little things like a silly song that makes me happy. For some reason, I was deeply affected and suddenly very aware of God's timing. I marveled at the fact that He has every detail of our lives in His hand.

Fast forward to New Years Day. 

I've always seen it as a day of promise, of new beginnings, and writing resolutions. A day to watch the Tournament of Roses parade and eat the traditional New Year food. I usually go into a new year hopeful for improvement in some areas of my life while reflecting on what was good and bad in the previous year and thanking God for His guidance, blessings, and protection.

This year, however, I came into the year with a broken bridge. Yes, you read that right  The back tooth, the anchor of a four-tooth bridge in my mouth broke, but remained in place, before Christmas. I was able to get an appointment on December 29 to get some preliminary work done and made an appointment to get the rest done in January.

New Years Day the tooth anchoring the other end of the bridge came loose and the whole bridge fell out in my hand.

Happy New Year!

This was not exactly how I had envisioned 2018 starting out. I was at first horrified, because there was now a gap near enough to the front which revealed that I obviously had a tooth missing. My pride was severely damaged. As I gave it all to God, though, He began to reveal to me that it was not as bad as I had thought it would be when it first happened. Count your blessings and be thankful for the timing, I heard as I waited before Him.

Hmm. Blessings, you say? Let me see.

First, it was a blessing that the whole thing started in the previous year, because I still had insurance available for 2017 that would pay for 1/2 of the first part of the repair work.

Second, because part of this was paid for out of last year's insurance, there would now be enough to pay for the rest of it out of this year's.  Perfect timing.  

Timing? Honestly, if it had happened earlier in the year last year or just a little bit later, it would have been a huge financial burden, because it would be mostly out of pocket.

God's timing. 

The timing of this whole event was arranged by God. I am extremely thankful for this.

I was able to go in the next day and my dentist worked some "magic," gluing the front tooth and one connecting fake tooth back in temporarily until my appointment later in January.

So I became suddenly aware of God's timing in December, when my favorite, whimsical little Christmas tune was played just for me. This  is my word for 2018: timing. He has continued to unfold things in HIS TIME, and I am utterly amazed. I believe I will continue to see His amazing work revealed to me all year, and the timing will be perfect, because He is perfect.

Happy New Year, even though I waited until January 31st to tell you. I've been unable to get the words out until tonight, when it all came into focus for me.

I think it's the way it was supposed to be. It's in God's timing. 

My times are in Your hand; Deliver me from the hand of my enemies and from those who persecute me. Psalm. 31:15 NASB