Just about everyone I know has struggled with fear on some level. It seems to be quite common these days. Whether it is the fear of being alone or the fear of the unknown future that looms ahead, it is very likely that most people have dealt with it, or are dealing with it now.
I'll admit that I have certain fears that keep plaguing me. I know the Lord is protecting me, but I still have my moments. So I decided to do something about it.
I am currently in the process of looking up scriptures dealing with fear and writing them in a notebook. I've titled it "Removing Fear." You could say I'm researching it, except the Bible is the only source I'm using, so the works cited page would be short if it were for a class. It's not, though; I graduated and I have no desire for another degree.
But I digress....
Because of this research, don't be surprised if some posts on the subject pop up some in the coming weeks and months.
I came across an interesting account of a battle in 2 Chronicles the other day, and I can't quit thinking about it. It's where Jehoshaphat learned of 3 armies headed his way to fight against him, and he was afraid. He asked the Lord for help, and the Lord spoke to him through Jahaziel, saying:
"Do not fear or be dismayed because of this great multitude, for the battle is not yours but God's...
You need not fight in this battle; station yourselves, stand and see the salvation of the Lord on our behalf, O Judah and Jerusalem."
You can go and read all about it in 2 Chronicles 20. I won't quote the whole thing here, but basically Jehoshaphat and the people went to the place where God had told them to go to watch, but they were not to fight. As they sang praises to God, they watched the armies of Ammon, Moab, and Mount Seir, who had come to make war with Jehoshaphat, turn on each other instead. After the battle, none of the enemies had survived. Not one.
The enemies destroyed themselves in this battle! The inhabitants of Judah and Jerusalem did not lift a finger but watched them all turn on each other.
Jehoshaphat and his people gathered up all the spoil (the valuables that the armies had brought) and it took them 3 days to get all of it! Three days!
I don't know about you, but reading about this battle has encouraged me so much.
"The battle is not yours, but God's." 2 Chronicles 20:15 NASB
Praise the LORD!
Tuesday, June 18, 2019
Saturday, June 8, 2019
Plans and Promises
We have had major flooding in my area over the last couple of weeks. Many people's homes were flooded and some lost everything. It has been devastating. As the flood waters have started to recede, the clean up process has begun but it will be a long time before things are back to normal around here.
As if we didn't have enough water, we've just had several days of torrential downpours. On top of the major flooding we have endured, flash flooding has been occurring the last couple of days. It seemed there was no end in sight.
Last night at sunset, as the rain clouds finally started to clear and move on out of our area, there was a beautiful rainbow in the eastern sky. I saw pictures of the whole rainbow on social media last night, but in the area where I live there are so many trees that I can see very little of the sky from my yard. I was sitting on the porch enjoying the cool breeze, when I started to notice an orange glow through the trees to the east. I was curious about what this could be, so I went out into the street to see what it was.
I stepped into the street and saw a breathtakingly beautiful rainbow. The picture here does not do it justice. The colors were brilliant and stunning. I ran to the back yard to see if I could see the other end of it, but I could only see tiny bits here and there through the trees. I was just happy that I got to see some of it; I usually miss these things because I tend to stay in the house all the time. I was glad I risked being on the mosquito buffet yesterday evening; it was worth it to see this reminder of one of God's promises.
This made me realize that this is how we see God's plan for us. He sees the entire plan from beginning to end; we only see a fragment. We can't tell where God is going with this current situation we are in. "What are you up to?" we often ask Him. Because we can't see the whole plan, it doesn't always make sense to us.
This scripture came to me during my prayer time this morning. It seems very timely; I've prayed along these lines many times during physical and other types of storms. God has always taken care of me:
"Hear my cry, O God, give heed to my prayer. From the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint; Lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been a refuge for me, a tower of strength against the enemy. Let me dwell in your tent forever; Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings. Selah." Psalm 61:1-4 NASB
It is uncanny that I stumbled across a scripture talking about higher ground when so many were scrambling for just that in the last couple of weeks. I know it isn't necessarily literal, though. It serves as a reminder to me that when we put our trust in God, He is always guiding and protecting us. Whether the enemy happens to be raging flood waters or some other type of disaster in our lives, He is always with us.
I am encouraged today because of the reminders of God's promises; both in the sky and in His word. I hope you are, too.
Monday, June 3, 2019
Do Not Anxiously Look About
For a time, I stopped writing in my blog; not on purpose but because I thought no one wanted to read it anyway. I felt like I had nothing to say.
Yes, I have been in a battle and was beginning to believe nothing would ever change, and nothing I would say to anyone would do any good. Might as well stop trying to pretend I write.
Tonight, though, for the first time in months, I can't shake the feeling that many around me are discouraged and even afraid of what is ahead in their lives, just like I am sometimes. Some are falling into depression and despondency. Having spent many years depressed and discouraged, I get it.
I was struggling earlier tonight, once again actually fighting the urge to give in to the lies of the enemy that said to me nothing will ever be different. You are always going to fight depression. You will never win. You are of no use to anyone.
Yeah, I admit it; I do still hear that sometimes. It doesn't last long anymore, but it does happen. I get up and go on like I have done for years now. The difference lately, though, is this: I had stopped writing about my struggles and victories.
So I would like to say back to the LIAR in writing, for all to read: the very fact that I recognize it's a lie of the enemy proves that I will overcome and win this battle. There is HOPE. There were many days, weeks, and years that I believed the lies and merely existed, miserable, alone, and afraid.
Those days are behind me. Now, instead of spiraling down into sadness and discouragement that lasts for weeks and even months, I have learned to shut out the lies and listen to my Father's voice.
It's really quite simple. Here is what I do. As soon as it occurs to me that I'm being tempted to believe a lie, I put on some worship music. Right away the atmosphere is better, because the darkness cannot stay in the presence of the Light. The enemy will not stick around when you're praising the Lord. He hates worship. He will "skedaddle," as we say in the south.
The next thing I do is open up my Bible and find some of God's words that contradict the lies I have just heard. Once I find it, I read it out loud. Over time, we tend to start believing what we hear ourselves say, so it's important to say it out loud, at least in the beginning of this part of your faith walk.
Recently, during a fierce thunderstorm, I was attacked by fear. I'm not talking about being a little afraid of a storm. We're talking being irrationally fearful and panicked. When I realized what I was dealing with, I cried out to the Lord to help me. Instantly, these words came to me: Do not anxiously look about you (I was doing this very thing).
I recognized that scripture immediately because I've read it many times. I turned to Isaiah 41:10 and read these words:
"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Instantly I had peace, and I knew I was going to be all right.
Even if you are skeptical and are wondering if it really is possible to overcome the spirit of fear, depression, or feelings of worthlessness, what do you have to lose?
Just your fear. Just your depression. Just your feelings of worthlessness.
Try it.
Be encouraged. The Lord is with you. Call out to Him and He will answer.
You are going to get through this; you and me both.
Yes, I have been in a battle and was beginning to believe nothing would ever change, and nothing I would say to anyone would do any good. Might as well stop trying to pretend I write.
Tonight, though, for the first time in months, I can't shake the feeling that many around me are discouraged and even afraid of what is ahead in their lives, just like I am sometimes. Some are falling into depression and despondency. Having spent many years depressed and discouraged, I get it.
I was struggling earlier tonight, once again actually fighting the urge to give in to the lies of the enemy that said to me nothing will ever be different. You are always going to fight depression. You will never win. You are of no use to anyone.Yeah, I admit it; I do still hear that sometimes. It doesn't last long anymore, but it does happen. I get up and go on like I have done for years now. The difference lately, though, is this: I had stopped writing about my struggles and victories.
So I would like to say back to the LIAR in writing, for all to read: the very fact that I recognize it's a lie of the enemy proves that I will overcome and win this battle. There is HOPE. There were many days, weeks, and years that I believed the lies and merely existed, miserable, alone, and afraid.
Those days are behind me. Now, instead of spiraling down into sadness and discouragement that lasts for weeks and even months, I have learned to shut out the lies and listen to my Father's voice.
It's really quite simple. Here is what I do. As soon as it occurs to me that I'm being tempted to believe a lie, I put on some worship music. Right away the atmosphere is better, because the darkness cannot stay in the presence of the Light. The enemy will not stick around when you're praising the Lord. He hates worship. He will "skedaddle," as we say in the south.
The next thing I do is open up my Bible and find some of God's words that contradict the lies I have just heard. Once I find it, I read it out loud. Over time, we tend to start believing what we hear ourselves say, so it's important to say it out loud, at least in the beginning of this part of your faith walk.
Recently, during a fierce thunderstorm, I was attacked by fear. I'm not talking about being a little afraid of a storm. We're talking being irrationally fearful and panicked. When I realized what I was dealing with, I cried out to the Lord to help me. Instantly, these words came to me: Do not anxiously look about you (I was doing this very thing).
I recognized that scripture immediately because I've read it many times. I turned to Isaiah 41:10 and read these words:
"Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Instantly I had peace, and I knew I was going to be all right.
Even if you are skeptical and are wondering if it really is possible to overcome the spirit of fear, depression, or feelings of worthlessness, what do you have to lose?
Just your fear. Just your depression. Just your feelings of worthlessness.
Try it.
Be encouraged. The Lord is with you. Call out to Him and He will answer.
You are going to get through this; you and me both.
Thursday, February 14, 2019
The Return of the Daffodil
This time a year ago I was lamenting over our early spring-like weather, and complaining that I had a single daffodil that braved a cold, but above freezing, rainy week in late February and finally bloomed in spite of the adverse conditions.
I was so bummed, because I wanted some winter, and desperately wanted it to snow.
Here is that blog post if you didn't read it and want to. If my link doesn't work (I'm really rusty on my html skills), just copy and paste it into your browser:
<a href=https://debbiev120.blogspot.com/2018/02/just-daffodil.html/">Just a Daffodil</a>
Or, just look for it in the blog archive to the right. It's one of the very few that I wrote in 2018.
Long story short, the next day after my lone daffodil bravely bloomed, someone picked it out of my yard. I was so upset! I had watched its progress all week and when it finally bloomed, it was stolen.
So this year, it is once again too warm for February, as it usually is in my part of the country, and spring flowers are coming up all over the place. One such place is my front yard, in the same area where I had one daffodil last year. Only this year, there is not one. There are seven!
Seven flowers are coming up where I had one last year! I'm actually excited to see them this year. I am resigned to the fact that we don't often get to have winters like I would like to have anymore. Someday, after I retire, I will most likely move farther north so I can enjoy my favorite season and maybe even see snow sometimes.
Yes, I know; I'm the opposite of normal. Most people move south when they retire, but I detest hot, sticky, and humid southern summers. I always have. If I move, it will be north.
So what did I learn from the daffodils blooming? Without reading too much into it, I feel like it's a reminder of blessings I have been given.
For instance, there is the obvious, like the number of friends and family members I have now compared to years ago when I first found myself single and alone. God has been gracious and generous and He set this lonely girl into a family (Psalm 68:6). I am so blessed.
There is also the not so obvious.
For one, maybe we all have the potential for much more than we first imagined. Spiritual gifts are within all followers of Christ, even if we don't see them or readily know what they are. We have to ask Him to show us, and He will.
Secondly, what seems insignificant and small, like the tiny lone flower, may just grow into an entire garden. We may share the Gospel with one, and that one may share with seven, and those seven may become hundreds. So we should always share our faith, even if it seems like we aren't doing enough. You never know what an impact you may have.
Finally, everyone matters. Everyone. No one is too small or insignificant for God to use. Each and every one of us matters to Him. We each may feel like we are only one person, and therefore we can't do much. God, however, will use each small act done in faith for His kingdom.
Just like He multiplied that one, brave little daffodil into seven.
We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. Romans 12:6 NIV
I was so bummed, because I wanted some winter, and desperately wanted it to snow.
Here is that blog post if you didn't read it and want to. If my link doesn't work (I'm really rusty on my html skills), just copy and paste it into your browser:
<a href=https://debbiev120.blogspot.com/2018/02/just-daffodil.html/">Just a Daffodil</a>
Or, just look for it in the blog archive to the right. It's one of the very few that I wrote in 2018.
Long story short, the next day after my lone daffodil bravely bloomed, someone picked it out of my yard. I was so upset! I had watched its progress all week and when it finally bloomed, it was stolen.
So this year, it is once again too warm for February, as it usually is in my part of the country, and spring flowers are coming up all over the place. One such place is my front yard, in the same area where I had one daffodil last year. Only this year, there is not one. There are seven!
Seven flowers are coming up where I had one last year! I'm actually excited to see them this year. I am resigned to the fact that we don't often get to have winters like I would like to have anymore. Someday, after I retire, I will most likely move farther north so I can enjoy my favorite season and maybe even see snow sometimes.
Yes, I know; I'm the opposite of normal. Most people move south when they retire, but I detest hot, sticky, and humid southern summers. I always have. If I move, it will be north.
So what did I learn from the daffodils blooming? Without reading too much into it, I feel like it's a reminder of blessings I have been given.
For instance, there is the obvious, like the number of friends and family members I have now compared to years ago when I first found myself single and alone. God has been gracious and generous and He set this lonely girl into a family (Psalm 68:6). I am so blessed.
There is also the not so obvious.
For one, maybe we all have the potential for much more than we first imagined. Spiritual gifts are within all followers of Christ, even if we don't see them or readily know what they are. We have to ask Him to show us, and He will.
Secondly, what seems insignificant and small, like the tiny lone flower, may just grow into an entire garden. We may share the Gospel with one, and that one may share with seven, and those seven may become hundreds. So we should always share our faith, even if it seems like we aren't doing enough. You never know what an impact you may have.
Finally, everyone matters. Everyone. No one is too small or insignificant for God to use. Each and every one of us matters to Him. We each may feel like we are only one person, and therefore we can't do much. God, however, will use each small act done in faith for His kingdom.
We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us. Romans 12:6 NIV
Tuesday, January 15, 2019
Back to Factory Settings
My soul has been disquieted with much turmoil within over the last year and a half or so. I really did not know what was going on for a long time. I felt like I had no purpose anymore. Finally, it has begun to come into focus for me. God has been cleaning out my heart, removing idols and tearing down the high places.
According to what God's Word says about me, I am worth more than I had come to believe over the last couple of years. He says in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
All along I have felt like my future was destroyed many years ago when the marriage broke up. It has come to my attention that even if the future I thought I wanted and needed was shattered, God still has one for me. He did not give up on me even though I felt like I was no good, of no use to anyone many times. None of this took Him by surprise.
The words "factory settings" came to me recently when I was meditating on God's word and what He has for me. I did a word search on "back to factory settings." Turns out it means the item (or person in this case) is made as good as new.
As if I was never damaged.
As if I had never been enticed away from my true calling to languish in a perception that I needed something or someone I didn't have.
As if I had never thrown caution to the wind and set aside my purpose, to follow a purpose I thought I saw....just beyond the mist...just out of my reach.
I have been looking through a distorted lens; seeing things as if in a carnival fun house mirror. I wasn't seeing truth; I was believing a lie.
Jesus has shown me that He has picked me up...again...and set me on the right path.
He is even now in the process of restoring my soul "back to factory settings." This process has been painful at times. My heart has once again been broken beyond repair by anyone but the One who built it.
Fortunately for me, I know the the One who made me very well. I am confident of this, that "He who began a good work in (me) will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Philippians 1:6.
Praise the Lord!
Thursday, December 6, 2018
Fighting Battles
It has once again been longer than normal since I wrote last. I've been busy. It seems I'm in a battle.
A while back I was trying to figure out what emotion I was feeling inside. There was an ache and an emptiness that I knew from experience could only be filled by God. Not only was I well aware that it could not be filled by people or things, I didn't want it to be. I knew it was a hunger for God alone, so I have been waiting before God during prayer to show up and fix the problem.
While waiting, I have been asking all kinds of questions.
We humans love to ask questions, don't we? Why am I in this battle? Why has it practically paralyzed me emotionally and spiritually? How can I ask God to fix something if I don't even know what is wrong?
And of course, God doesn't answer those questions.
Then one day at church, it came to me what I was feeling. No wonder it felt familiar! This particular emotion goes way back into my childhood. The spirit of rejection has been trying to work its way back into my life lately, and this time it brought along an old foe of mine to help to entrap me.
During worship it suddenly came to me, and I had to write it down. I quickly sat down and rummaged through my purse and Bible looking for paper, but I had cleaned out my purse and there was no scrap paper to be found. I finally scribbled frantically on the back of the bulletin. I know from experience that if I don't write it down it will "evaporate" and I won't be able to recall what it was.
So I wrote down what I had been feeling and couldn't put my finger on. I wrote these words:
I feel like everyone ran on ahead of me and left me here all alone. It's like I bent down to tie my shoe, and they didn't wait on me. I'm standing here all alone. But I'm not alone, Jesus said He would never leave me nor forsake me, so He is here. I'm surrounded by God....
And in the background the church was singing "It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by God. This is how I fight my battles..."
Suddenly I knew what it was. The emotion I had been experiencing was ABANDONMENT. Very similar to rejection, almost, but not exactly. I thought back to a time when I had felt that emotion. For some reason, this particular memory is etched into my brain.
When I was a little girl, maybe 7 or 8, I distinctly remember a time when my mama said she was going to the store, and I could go with her when she was ready to go. So I went out into the yard to wait for her. After I had been outside for a while, suddenly I saw her car driving down the street, away from our house.
I panicked. I was sure that my mama had forgotten I wanted to go with her, and she left me. I ran after the car, frantic to catch up with her and make her see me and remember that I wanted to go with her. I finally caught up with the car at the end of the block when the driver stopped at the stop sign.
Then I saw it wasn't my mama. Relief flooded through me as I stood there catching my breath. Even though I was still feeling shaky from emotion and the exertion of running an entire block, I walked back up the hill to my house. I remember feeling very foolish, embarrassed, and ashamed. I don't think I ever told my mama that I had thought she left me.
This feeling has come back to me periodically throughout the years but I had never identified what it was.
But now it had finally been revealed to me what I was battling! I went to the Lord when I got home and talked to Him about it. I gave Him my fear of abandonment. I knew it wasn't actual abandonment, because that has already been taken care of. I know I am not abandoned because that is contrary to the Word of God:
Those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You. Psalm 9:9-11
In Isaiah 53 His word says "He was despised and forsaken of men." He took care of this at the cross in our place so we don't have to be! That is awesome news!
My mother, father, and brother went to be with Jesus a long time ago. It's been over twenty years. My children grew up, went to college, and went on to follow their dreams like I wanted them to. They are happily living their lives, and I am truly happy for them, but they are all in places far away from me so I don't see them often.
It appears I have been left all alone. However, no matter how many times the enemy comes to me and tells me I have been abandoned and left here all alone, I can simply turn to him and declare the truth by using the Word of God to combat his lies.
I am NOT forsaken, and I am NOT abandoned. Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Psalm 27:10 NLT
If you are battling the lies of the enemy about anything, write down all the scriptures you can find that contradict the lies and say them back to him whenever he whispers those lies in your ear.
Write them on post it notes and put them on your bathroom mirror, above the kitchen sink, or anywhere else you want to remind yourself of how to fight those lies.
Also, put on some worship music and sing along with it. A sure way to defeat the enemy is to worship Jesus.
Whatever you may be battling, Jesus has defeated it. Declare it, believe it, live it!
I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 NASB
A while back I was trying to figure out what emotion I was feeling inside. There was an ache and an emptiness that I knew from experience could only be filled by God. Not only was I well aware that it could not be filled by people or things, I didn't want it to be. I knew it was a hunger for God alone, so I have been waiting before God during prayer to show up and fix the problem.
While waiting, I have been asking all kinds of questions.
We humans love to ask questions, don't we? Why am I in this battle? Why has it practically paralyzed me emotionally and spiritually? How can I ask God to fix something if I don't even know what is wrong?
And of course, God doesn't answer those questions.
Then one day at church, it came to me what I was feeling. No wonder it felt familiar! This particular emotion goes way back into my childhood. The spirit of rejection has been trying to work its way back into my life lately, and this time it brought along an old foe of mine to help to entrap me.
During worship it suddenly came to me, and I had to write it down. I quickly sat down and rummaged through my purse and Bible looking for paper, but I had cleaned out my purse and there was no scrap paper to be found. I finally scribbled frantically on the back of the bulletin. I know from experience that if I don't write it down it will "evaporate" and I won't be able to recall what it was.
So I wrote down what I had been feeling and couldn't put my finger on. I wrote these words:
I feel like everyone ran on ahead of me and left me here all alone. It's like I bent down to tie my shoe, and they didn't wait on me. I'm standing here all alone. But I'm not alone, Jesus said He would never leave me nor forsake me, so He is here. I'm surrounded by God....
And in the background the church was singing "It may look like I'm surrounded, but I'm surrounded by God. This is how I fight my battles..."
Suddenly I knew what it was. The emotion I had been experiencing was ABANDONMENT. Very similar to rejection, almost, but not exactly. I thought back to a time when I had felt that emotion. For some reason, this particular memory is etched into my brain.
When I was a little girl, maybe 7 or 8, I distinctly remember a time when my mama said she was going to the store, and I could go with her when she was ready to go. So I went out into the yard to wait for her. After I had been outside for a while, suddenly I saw her car driving down the street, away from our house.
I panicked. I was sure that my mama had forgotten I wanted to go with her, and she left me. I ran after the car, frantic to catch up with her and make her see me and remember that I wanted to go with her. I finally caught up with the car at the end of the block when the driver stopped at the stop sign.
Then I saw it wasn't my mama. Relief flooded through me as I stood there catching my breath. Even though I was still feeling shaky from emotion and the exertion of running an entire block, I walked back up the hill to my house. I remember feeling very foolish, embarrassed, and ashamed. I don't think I ever told my mama that I had thought she left me.
This feeling has come back to me periodically throughout the years but I had never identified what it was.
But now it had finally been revealed to me what I was battling! I went to the Lord when I got home and talked to Him about it. I gave Him my fear of abandonment. I knew it wasn't actual abandonment, because that has already been taken care of. I know I am not abandoned because that is contrary to the Word of God:
Those who know Your name will put their trust in You, for You, O Lord, have not forsaken those who seek You. Psalm 9:9-11
In Isaiah 53 His word says "He was despised and forsaken of men." He took care of this at the cross in our place so we don't have to be! That is awesome news!
My mother, father, and brother went to be with Jesus a long time ago. It's been over twenty years. My children grew up, went to college, and went on to follow their dreams like I wanted them to. They are happily living their lives, and I am truly happy for them, but they are all in places far away from me so I don't see them often.
It appears I have been left all alone. However, no matter how many times the enemy comes to me and tells me I have been abandoned and left here all alone, I can simply turn to him and declare the truth by using the Word of God to combat his lies.
I am NOT forsaken, and I am NOT abandoned. Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Psalm 27:10 NLT
If you are battling the lies of the enemy about anything, write down all the scriptures you can find that contradict the lies and say them back to him whenever he whispers those lies in your ear.
Write them on post it notes and put them on your bathroom mirror, above the kitchen sink, or anywhere else you want to remind yourself of how to fight those lies.
Also, put on some worship music and sing along with it. A sure way to defeat the enemy is to worship Jesus.
Whatever you may be battling, Jesus has defeated it. Declare it, believe it, live it!
I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you. Hebrews 13:5 NASB
Friday, September 21, 2018
From Glory to Glory
I skimmed through old journals tonight. What an eye-opener!
"Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into His image with intensifying glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit." 2 Cor. 3:17-18, Berean Study Bible
I had gone back though them 8 or 9 years ago in much the same way, when I typed them into Word documents. As I typed, I put in little notes like "I was very spiritually immature in those days" or "my focus was all wrong back then." Then I proceeded to impart, in the "editing notes," with all the wisdom and insight that hindsight gives to a person ten years in the future how much better I am today.
This made me chuckle. Of course I can see the folly of my ways 10 or 20 years later. Anyone can look at something they wrote eighteen years ago and feel superior to that foolish, immature, baby Christian.
This is one of the reasons I journal. I want to remember the good things in my life, and I am thankful for how far God has brought me, even though I cringe at some of the things I thought God was saying to me. I really do know more who I am in Christ these days than I did in 2001. However, the main reason I have to write it all down is so that I don't forget the miraculous things God has done for me.
This is how I encourage myself in the Lord. In the dark times, when I feel like I have nothing to say that is blog-worthy, I can read and remember the times that God provided an absolute miracle for me and be encouraged.
My heart is a little lighter when I am reminded that God touched me in my prayer closet once many years ago when my heart was consumed with grief over a devastating loss and He healed my broken heart on the spot. I was still hurting for a while, but I had hope and was able to function again after that very real and miraculous encounter.
It gives me the strength to keep going when I read that God was still faithful to provide for me even when I wasn't being a particularly good or wise steward of His blessings at the time. I can see that I struggled back then and got through it, so I know I will this time, too.
I read about the times my children, grandchildren, and very dear friends who have become family to me were together and I am thankful they are in my life. We may be far apart geographically, but in our hearts we are next door neighbors. I truly believe that distance doesn't have to effect deep relationships of the heart. We can choose to hold those dear to us in our hearts whether we see them daily or once a year. It's just like no time has passed when we do see each other again, because God has connected our hearts.
Reading tonight, I was reminded that in ten years I will most likely feel the same way about the journal entries I am writing this year as I did about the ones from a decade ago. I will snicker and roll my eyes and think "how spiritually immature I was!"
That's just the way it is, though. We are not staying the same; we who are in Christ are going from glory to glory:
Looking back through old writings every once in a while is beneficial to me because it reminds me of the wonderful things God has done for me. I might try to rationalize them all these years later and downplay their importance and validity, had I not written all about them in my journal.
Also, even though I read about some of my past and shudder at how silly and inexperienced I was in my Christian walk, it encourages me to know that I have grown up a little. God is at work in me, changing me and transforming me, one day at a time.
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