All Sufficient Grace

Most of my life up until I was about 40 I was not really organized.  I wasn't necessarily disorganized; I just didn't have any special organizing abilities to speak of. I felt disorganized, raising 3 kids in a 900 square foot home, but I think that was because there wasn't enough storage and therefore not enough places to put everything away. Seriously, is there ever enough storage for all the items you need with babies and children?

Two distinctive things happened within a year before and after I turned forty: First, two months before my 40th birthday I had a life-changing, crying and sobbing on the floor God experience when I gave Him my heart. From that moment on, at 12 noon on Oct. 31, 1994, I have never been the same. Second, about a year after I turned 40 I lost my brother and my mother within 3 months' time.

This was a traumatic time in my life. My brother died on Dec. 3, 1995 at only 55--too young to die. It was devastating to my mother, who was 77 at the time. I don't think she ever really recovered.  Not quite 3 months later, on Feb. 28, my mother died suddenly. Even though she was in ICU already from a heart attack a couple of days earlier, they were unable to revive her.

And so I was left the sole survivor of the family I grew up in. My dad had passed in 1983, so I was the only one left. I didn't see how I could possibly get through this and bear these losses.  It didn't occur to me until recently that He knew I could bear these losses.  He sustained me through it all and gave me the grace I needed. It was all part of His master plan.

This brings me to the point of this post. He got me through this difficult time emotionally with a peace that passes all understanding. I can't explain it, I just knew I would come through ok. What I didn't know was how much God was about to change my life.

Suddenly, I had about three weeks to get my mama's apartment packed up and moved to storage until I could get a yard sale together. No pressure at all.

I remember walking into her apartment and looking around the room thinking "where do I start?" And then God spoke to me. It was life-changing to me, but some of you will have heard this if you watch reality TV shows by professional organizers or read their blogs. Bear in mind, though, that this was 20 years ago; internet was just getting started and there were no reality shows on TV. Professional organizers were not really a thing yet. So even though what I felt He was saying is very basic and logical, it had escaped me my whole life. I had never thought of this or heard it from any source. I felt strongly impressed to do the following:

"Focus on one thing at a time. Do not worry about all the other stuff in the room.  Just deal with what's in front of you."  

That may not be earth-shattering to you, but it was revelation knowledge to me back then. Essentially what the Lord showed me was to start at the doorway and move clockwise around the room until everything had been dealt with. For instance, I took a dresser drawer in the bedroom and focused on its contents using the "keep, toss, sell" directions like the organizers do. I boxed it up or threw it away and moved on to the next dresser drawer.

You may be thinking, "wow, she's cold-hearted and unfeeling." However, I am very sentimental. This was a daunting task, and if God had not helped me I could not have done it!  But by the sheer grace of God, I was able to detach myself emotionally from my mother's belongings so that I could sort through it and get it ready to give away, sell, or throw it away. Some of it did go into storage until I could decide, but I was able to decide on most of it during that process. 

It took me 3 weeks, going after work and on the weekends, to box up her apartment. We rented a storage building and stored her furniture to put in a yard sale when I had a chance to get that together. I had some help at times from my husband and kids, but I had to make all the decisions about the stuff. No one could do that part for me. It was mine alone to do, and I knew it.

Because my dad was a photographer, and both he and my mom kept virtually everything, there were a lot of pictures. A LOT. I was finding random pictures in every drawer, nook and cranny and I began to feel the need to organize them chronologically. 

Then I felt strongly--probably the urging of the Holy Spirit again--that I should put the photographs in plastic containers. Maybe this would seem like common sense, but it had never occurred to me until I was in the middle of it.  I went and bought large clear plastic storage boxes and sorted the pictures into them. In April 1996, three weeks after I turned in the key to my mom's apartment, an F-3 tornado came through our town and ripped part of the roof off the storage building where her furniture and personal belongings, including all those pictures, were stored. 

It was over a week before we were allowed to go in and check on our storage, because the storage building was in a heavily damaged part of town. Trees and power lines were down and houses were reduced to splinters. When we finally got in there, a lot of the furniture was ruined due to the rain that continued all night after the tornado went through our area, and a lot of the boxed items were, too. However, the pictures, safe in their plastic containers, were unharmed. Every one of them.  I'm so thankful I listened to that still, small voice that told me to put the pictures in plastic containers.

It's been 20 years this month since I was in the middle of cleaning out my mother's apartment, but through the years I have retained my God-given ability to organize and deal with all manner of "stuff." There are times when I still walk into a room and wonder where to start, but I simply ask God to show me and He does. Every time. Maybe He allows me to feel overwhelmed sometimes to remember that He is my source, I don't know.  I do know this for sure:  I give Him all the glory for my organizational abilities.  I could not do it without His guidance and His all-sufficient grace.

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.  2 Corinthians 12:9 NLT.

Look Out--No, Really...

This is not your normal Valentines post. I'm past the kicking, screaming, and  hating the day. Please hear me out.

So, here we are again in February, the month of Valentines. I was just going to repost last year's post, but I feel like I need to share what's on my heart. Tonight I have a few thoughts on the subject, so here goes.

It's no secret that for many years I hated Valentines Day. It can be a very painful event for single people. Valentines Day focuses on relationships and we find ourselves yet again single. Over the years, though, it has become less painful for me and easier to tolerate by the sheer grace of God. I was just thinking the other day how good it feels not to be in pain emotionally.

Then the Lord reminded me that is still not the case for many of the singles out there. For many, it is still Single Awareness Day, pointing out to them and the world that they are not in a relationship. For those of you who are still hurting because you are in need of that special someone, I offer this small encouragement, though I know from personal experience it is not what you want to hear: God loves you. Turn to Him and ask Him to show you His heart for you, and He will. I know this to be a fact, because He did it for me.

"...may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep his love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God." Ephesians 3:18,19 NLT. 

It doesn't matter why you are single. You may have never been married. You may be divorced. You might have lost your spouse to death.

The point is there are a lot of people who don't necessarily enjoy Valentines Day to some degree. Some are not necessarily upset over being alone as much as how society views singles; as though all of us--of course--are looking for love and not finding it. By some, we are seen as somehow incomplete because we are not part of a couple.

This post is for those people. I'm here to tell you I feel your pain.

I'm in the category of those who are single because of divorce. I have struggled with my singleness and moved past merely accepting it to actually loving it. I am finally content for the first time in years.  I do enjoy being with family and friends, but there is a time to be with people and a time to be alone. I know that now, and I'm not afraid of it anymore.

The Lord has shown me when I need to be with my family and friends and when I just need to be alone--and He gives me the grace for whichever He is leading me to do.

This year I am being led to "look out" and turn my focus outward to show the love of Christ. You don't have to look very far to find hurting people. So I challenge you to join me in making this a good Valentines Day for someone who is hurting. It doesn't have to be elaborate or expensive. It may not cost a dime.

Here are some ideas:

Visit someone in the hospital or nursing home. 

Spend a little extra time with your kids; snuggle with your little ones and read a book or watch a movie together if you are fortunate enough to still have one or more small children at home.

Call your mother, dad, or a grandparent or neighbor who lives alone. A phone call can be a treasured gift to an older adult. (Note: If any of my children happen to be reading, this is not an elaborate attempt to get you to call me. This is truly what I believe God would have me write.)

There are many ways to show someone you care,  Ask God to show you how to reach outward this year, and I promise He will.  The best way to forget your own pain and problems is to help someone in need. 

"For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love." Romans 5:4 NLT.

Happy Valentines Day!

Living Life

January is almost over, and I am just now writing my first post of the year. In fact, I haven't posted anything since October.

So, we have left 2015 in the past and have begun a new year. As with any year, it had its good and bad moments.  It started off good with my 60th birthday in January, when all 3 of my children came for the surprise party even though they had just been here a month earlier for my college graduation. I was absolutely blown away to see a room full of my friends and family with my children and granddaughter standing among them.  It was the best birthday ever.

I flew to Arizona in May to see my sweet daughter-in-law graduate with her Masters Degree.  That was a great trip; I wrote a blog about it in June.

Everything else was pretty blah until November.  That's when my grandson decided to come at 36 1/2 weeks, weighing 5 lb. 9 oz. but in perfect health, thank God! I took several days off work to help out, and made another couple of trips to see him as well.

My youngest son and his wife came for Christmas and spent a week with me.  It was awesome. We had a great visit, which included seeing several movies  and getting him and his wife caught up on the current season of Doctor Who so they could watch the Doctor Who Christmas Special with me on Christmas Day.  We even went to see their new nephew while they were here, with a detour to see Crystal Bridges on the way back.  The only thing that kept Christmas 2015 from being perfect was the fact that my oldest son couldn't come home.

So, as you can see, I was busy living life and couldn't find the time to write. I am happy to be busy. I am blessed to have family and friends and we have so much to do and say when we are together. I think that's how it should be.

That was my 2015 in a nutshell. The new year came in quietly as most years do in the last few years; just the cat and me. I watched the New Years Day Rose Parade like I always do, and fixed blackeyed peas and hog jowl for supper on January 1.

I promise the next post will be more interesting.  I am already working on it, but I wanted to recap last year and officially welcome 2016.

Stay tuned for a post in the next few days. It is one of those that is like a "fire shut up in my bones." I think God is up to something.

Seasons

A few weeks back, I was reflecting on my life on a Saturday morning, and suddenly I was journaling about it. I have felt for a couple of weeks that I should post it, so that's what I'm doing.  The following is taken from that Saturday morning-with-coffee time of reflection:

There are some things I have learned about myself over the years.

Fact #1--I can't function in chaos. Right now there are various items on the kitchen table, where I am seated, that do not belong here. Some mail, mostly junk, that never made it to the bill rack or trash can.  It has to be sorted though, because there are some pieces of this that I need. There's a half full water bottle for some reason. My Bible case. Pens and markers.  Ugh.  It is really distracting and I have to do something about it today.

For whatever reason, I need a clean table or desk to properly sit and write in my journal or on my blog. The same goes for my desk at work.  I have rearranged my desk top several times in the last couple of months trying to have a cleaner surface so I can work efficiently. As of yesterday, I'm finally happy with my desk.

I don't know why this is.  I'm just happy that I finally realized this about myself.

Fact #2--I have to have my Saturdays to re-charge my "batteries" so to speak.  I used to run and do stuff every weekend and somehow had the energy and stamina to work all week and run all weekend. Not anymore. Except for the occasional weekend trip, for which God gives the grace and energy, I am a hermit on Saturday.

I have come to the the realization that God gives us the grace and strength for what we need to do for a season. Part of it is the aging process.  I am 60 now, and don't have quite the energy level I had when my kids were in high school and I ran all the time doing stuff with them.  However, part of it is just this:  God gave me the ability to run with my teenagers, work my main job all week, and work a part-time job in a fast-food restaurant on nights and weekends at a time in my life when it was needed. More recently, He gave me the motivation and energy to go to college and do homework every night and weekend well past the age when most people are in college.

Now I know it was for a season, and it's over. It's over. Funny thing is, I'm not upset about it. I am grateful to get to be home most nights and on Saturday.  It's my favorite place to be. I have projects around the house I enjoy working on like my pictures, writing my blog, and learning to live a minimal lifestyle.

So those were my thoughts that Saturday morning as I sat with Bible, journal, and coffee. I was left with the impression that it's time to clean up my environment--physically, mentally, and spiritually--and get to what God has called me to do in this season.  For one, I know I'm drawn to writing in this blog. It makes me happy, but most of the time I don't feel like I have anything to say. I have to depend on Jesus to show me what is "share-worthy" in my life.

In other words, I need to sort through the stack of "mail" in my life--the necessary stuff and the unnecessary stuff--and figure out what is junk and what is not. That may not make sense to anyone else, but the analogy is very clear to me. Aside from the junk mail, none of the things on the kitchen table that day were unneeded; they were just out of place. I love to organize. I am excited about this challenge. God will show me how to sort everything out according to His plan.

My main reason for writing is to encourage others and point them to Jesus, who is the only answer. If you are facing a new, uncharted territory in your life, maybe it is just a new season that God is bringing about. Don't be afraid; He will equip you for what He has called you to do.

I embrace the season that God has put me in.  With His help, I know I can do this.

"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT

Remembering Not to Fear

A while back, Facebook initiated the practice of giving us glimpses of posts from years ago.  I usually enjoy seeing these, though I rarely re-post them.  I am content to reminisce and move on.

Tonight though, something from 2007 caught my eye.  I hadn't started this blog yet, I had barely ventured away from MySpace (yes!  I had one!), but Facebook had a Notes feature--do they still have this?  I don't know. So many changes in the social media world in the last 7 or 8 years.  Anyway, I had a minor breakthrough and had to shout it from the rooftops, or post it in a note on Facebook.  Same effect, right?  

Here is the note in its entirety.  I was less wordy in those days I guess.

to fear or not to fear

September 8, 2007 at 6:40pm

When something happens that is obviously a scare tactic of the devil, I usually run and hide. I have dreams and panic attacks, and I am generally unsettled inside for days or even weeks. The spirit of fear has had a chokehold on me for most of my life. I know in my head that it's the devil, and I know in my head that God is in control. Knowing something in your head is not the same as knowing it in your heart, though.

Earlier this week something happened that really upset me. Immediately, I knew it was an attack and an attempt to scare me and it made me MAD! For the first time, my first thought wasn't one of fear and panic. My first thought was "no weapon that is formed against me shall prosper." (Isaiah 54:17)

That day for the first time, I knew in my heart that it was a fear tactic! I suddenly knew that the devil had no power over me because I am a blood-bought child of God. Thank you, Jesus! Thank you that every tongue that accuses me you will condemn! Today, You have opened the eyes of my heart and allowed me to see the truth--and be FREE! Darkness cannot last in the presence of the Light of the World. Fear has been exposed, and is now defeated.

Today, eight years later, I'm thankful for victories both large and small. Although, is any victory really small when it's yours?  This impacted me so much I had to share it with the world, even though I don't even remember what it was that upset me so much.  It doesn't matter.  God used it to open my eyes to a spiritual truth that had long evaded me. 

I still get afraid at times, but I turned a corner that day. I respond to it differently these days.  I know God's promises, like the ones in Psalm 91, are true. I choose to stand on them.

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say to the Lord, “My refuge and my fortress, My God, in whom I trust!”  Psalm 91:1,2. NASB

More Than Many Sparrows

It has been quite a stormy spring and summer where I live.  We've had a bunch of rain with thunderstorms, and even a flash flood a couple of months ago. All this is most unusual summer behavior for this area.  As a rule we are normally without measurable rainfall in the summer months. It is now August, and though by now it should be dry and brown outside, this is not the case this year.

Memorial Day this year brought a huge thunderstorm through in the late afternoon. Damaging winds and possibly hail were in the forecast for the day.  So I did what I always do in these cases: I decided to ride it out in my safe place just in case.  My bedroom closet, which is in the middle of the house, is where I go when I am uneasy about the weather but don't feel like going to the tornado shelter is necessary.

This particular Monday afternoon's storm quickly escalated to a severe status because of the straight line winds. So I'm in my bedroom with the TV on, watching the play-by-play report they have on when the weather turns nasty. I was sitting on the bed until it started sounding really windy outside, so I moved to the floor of the closet to be farther from the windows. Suddenly, *BOOM!* there was a crashing sound of something hitting the house right beside my bedroom window.  And then darkness. I was quite shaken up, and afraid to go anywhere near any windows, so I sat in the closet floor for another 10 or 15 minutes until the wind subsided some.  

It didn't appear the roof was damaged because there were no leaks in the house. I investigated as well as I could without going outside, because I knew there was probably a power line down, possibly still live, in my back yard. I soon discovered why I had no power when I finally got up the nerve to go to the back of the house and look out the window.  A neighbor's dead tree had come crashing down on the power line that goes from my house to the pole--and pulled my electric meter off the house! It wasn't something hitting the house that I heard; it was the meter being forcefully ripped off, completely disconnecting the electricity. I found out later that it was fortunate that it pulled the electric lines completely clear of the house, because sometimes a fire can start from partially detached lines arcing. 

I reported my outage to the electric company, then did what a lot of us tend to do when something like this happens: I shared it on social media. Almost immediately I got I phone call from a family member offering to let me stay with them, and I took them up on it. Because I had to get an electrician to re-attach the meter to the house before the electric company would re-connect my power, I ended up staying there a couple of days.  I am so thankful for my family.

A few days later, I was walking around in my back yard and praying. There was something still there that was troubling to me.  Another dead tree on the same neighbor's property was leaning and hanging over my property.  I was worried it would come down on my power line and I would have the same problem and expense again.  Knowing that God cares about my problems, I asked Him to somehow get that remaining dead tree removed in a way that did no harm to anyone or anyone's property, and did not cost me any more money. Then I did my very best to dismiss it from my mind, because I had given it to God. This was in early June.

Two months later another storm came through, the first week in August.  It rained heavily, with thunder and lightening at varying intervals all night long. Several times I was awakened by the storm, but never one time did I think about that tree.  I had really cast that care on God.

At 4:00 am, I was suddenly awake, probably from loud thunder. Before I could go back to sleep, I heard what sounded like a wire being stretched very tight, and then it was dark.  This time, it was really dark, because it was the middle of the night.  I found a flashlight and ventured carefully to the back of the house to see if the meter had been pulled off again, but it was so dark I couldn't see it. I called the electric company and reported my outage and tried to go back to sleep. 

Finally, after I tossed and turned in a dark house with no fan or AC on, unable to sleep, the first hints of dawn finally started to appear at the windows.  When it was light enough, I looked out the window by the meter--it was still attached! There was no damage to property, just as I had asked the Lord for. Since the electric company just had to reattach the wires, I was only without power for 5 hours that time.

This has been a long post, but I felt it was necessary to give some back story.  I was really concerned about the tree, and I went to God about it.  He took care of it in His way and in His timing. It was encouraging to me that when He takes care of us, He takes all things about our lives into consideration. 

The lesson He taught me from all this is if He took care of that need, He will certainly take care of all my other needs, too!

"Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows"  Luke 12:6-7 (NIV).

My Dad's Legacy

This is a picture of my dad, Harry King, when he was in his early 20s, around the early 1930s. He was one of the most musically talented people I've ever known. He loved to sing and could play anything with strings on it. He mostly played guitar, but he also played the piano and the violin. He even had a cello for a while, and he learned to play it pretty well before he traded it off for something "better." I have a picture of him with it, miraculously, shown below.  He was always buying and selling musical instruments, so he would have different instruments all the time. If he were alive in today's world, I have no doubt he would be on eBay all the time.

Some of my earliest memories are of my dad and me singing some silly song he made up. How I wish I had recordings of those times! There wasn't any video, of course, or even cassette tapes in those days. He had reel to reel tape recorders though, as you can see in the picture below from about 1960. I guess he didn't think about the silly songs as anything of consequence, so he didn't record them, but those are the main things that impacted me. You just never know what your kids will remember and treasure about their growing up years.


So, remember that, you young moms and dads.  Make memories with your kids and document it well. Today's fun and games become tomorrow's treasures in their memories of their childhoods.

My dad left me a legacy. No, he didn't have money or anything of any real value according to this world's standards. He loved the Lord, though, and he loved to worship Him with singing and music. That is the legacy he left me. He passed that down to me, and now I am worshiping the Lord in song. It's a passion of mine. Recently, our praise team sang "Just a Closer Walk with Thee" during worship on a Wednesday night. I was flooded with memories of singing that song with my dad. Sometimes we sang at church, sometimes on the radio program he had for a while. I was thinking how he would be blessed to know that I'm still singing and praising the Lord. He instilled a love of God and of music in me, and it's still there! I got choked up and almost couldn't sing that song thinking about him.


What a Godly heritage I have! Here's to my dad, who has been in Heaven for 32 years, worshiping Jesus in person!  Thank you for what you left with me. 

(By the way, your grandkids all sing and play, too, in case you didn't know.) 

Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there!