Contentment in Winter

There are things I have discovered about myself as I have grown older. Some I am happy about, some things, not so much.  All in all, though, this eye-opening experience of being in my fifties--late fifties at that--has been good.

I have discovered I love being at home.  I'm quite the homebody actually.  When I'm home, I find myself going through everything from closets to kitchen cabinets, from dresser drawers to the out of season clothing stored under the bed. It has been therapeutic for me.  I am learning the freedom of living with less in a nation obsessed with having it all. Four years ago when God moved me to this small house, with its 900 something square feet total living space, I didn't understand what He was up to. As time goes on, though, I am learning so much.  I have been paring down to having only what I love, use, or need, and it is so freeing. This is one of the reasons I love being home.

I have discovered that I don't mind being alone anymore.  I have embraced my singleness, and I love it.  I am convinced I could live like this from now on and not feel slighted by my friends and family. I love them all; they have a place in my heart and I have a place in theirs. God has taught me that when I do need social interaction, He will provide it. I rest in that now and leave that up to Him, knowing the peace of not clamoring to be included in everything. Not only that, I no longer feel inferior to my married friends.  Some people are supposed to be part of a couple; some are not. Whether or not that was God's first plan for me, since I was married for a long time and have children, is irrelevant.  I know He has forgiven me for my part in the divorce, and I am finally at peace about it. Now, I can only look forward.  He has been at work in my heart, healing my brokenness and allowing me to see that He does have plans for me.  He is using the pain I have been through, turning what the enemy meant for evil into good, for His glorious purpose. I look forward to discovering that purpose with joy and anticipation.

I also have discovered, as most of you know, that I love winter. I love it! I am enjoying this year's winter so much! We have had a lot of snow, and it's so beautiful.  God has something to say about that.  He is stirring something in my heart regarding winter, cold, and being dormant.  Stayed tuned; I'll share when it comes into focus for me, when He allows me to.

Winter brings discontent to some, but not for me.  I have embraced it, and I revel in it.

"I cry out to God Most High, to God who will fulfill His purpose for me." Psalm 57:2 NLT