For southerners the weather in the spring is very volatile. It can turn "on a dime" and produce a tornado in seconds. This is the main reason I don't like spring. I've spent a lot of spring and summer days, evenings, and nights hunkered down, since I was a child, mind you, in the lowest point in my home, away from windows, praying for the weather to play nice, if you please. It "doesn't please" sometimes, though. It barrels on through on its mission to terrify and destroy.
Yes, I "may possibly" have PTSD due to tornadic storms.
Even though I don't technically live in fear, because I know that God takes care of me, the triggers have been in place for most of my life. It's something I have struggled with for years and feel I have come a long way towards overcoming the traumatic experiences that caused me to react the way I do.
We had one of those middle of the night severe weather events last week, and I feel like I need to share what I realized that night. First, I need to give a little background, listing 2 times before that I know for a fact that I survived a documented tornado.
In 1996, my family and I survived a F-3 tornado that evidently and miraculously lifted up off the ground as it got near us. Inside the house (we had no time to go anywhere, and nowhere to go), I felt the pressure drop, and fear gripped me in the form of a sickening feeling. Later, when we went outside, we found our outbuildings picked up and scattered and our trees either gone or lying on the ground. Our house, however, a 14 x 70 mobile home, was to our astonishment completely untouched except for one row of shingles at the bottom edge of the roof, all across the back of the house. It was both terrifying and exhilarating to see how God had protected us.
Fast-forward to 2021. There had been multiple severe weather scares over the years, but never anything like 1996. In May of 2021, though, a tornado touched down mere blocks from me. I was in my small, 900 square foot little wood frame house in Van Buren, hiding in my bedroom closet; the only place in my house without an outside wall. As the wind and thunder roared outside, I was keeping track of the tornado's whereabouts on the TV in the bedroom. It was definitely headed in my direction, but I didn't find out until it was too late to run to the tornado shelter at the school a block away. I heard and felt heavy objects hitting the house as I cowered in my closet, praying for God to protect me. The power went out, but the storm raged. Shaking, from inside the closet I pulled up the TV station on my phone. I watched the storm's track on the radar until the noise outside started to diminish somewhat.
I learned later that this was an EF-1 tornado. It did quite a bit of damage in my area; mostly uprooting trees and tossing them about. The loud heavy objects I heard and felt hitting my house were large branches of a tree in my backyard. One of them took down my powerline to the electrical pole behind my house.
A dear friend of mine called, then came by to see if I was ok and offered to take me to her house. I was shaken, but extremely thankful to be unhurt. There was no visible damage to my house or car from what I could tell in the dark. I accepted her offer of hospitality and left with her to stay in her guest room that night. Air conditioning is important in May in the south! Even though technically I would have been ok in my house, with no AC and no ceiling fan there would be no sleep. I opted not to stay there that night, since I was quite rattled from the storm I'd been through.
So as you can see, I've lived through some trauma in the past. Unlike the 1996 tornado when I huddled in my living with my family under the couch we had turned over for protection, for the last 25 years I have ridden out the storms alone; at least, with no friend or family member with me. God was always with me, though.
Last week, I was awakened at 2:30 am by the tornado siren. I jumped out of bed, and muttering "great!" under my breath, I grabbed my phone and took shelter in my bathroom. Pulling up a "local" (Springfield, MO) TV station thanks to an app on my phone, I was hoping to see that the actual storm was in another area of the county (the sirens blow in the county where I live now regardless of where in the county the storm cloud is). However, to my dismay, I discovered there was a rotating cloud just west of my neighborhood, headed right over me. Once again, I was hiding from a storm and praying for protection. Praise the Lord, it stayed in the air and passed over me without causing any harm. I went back to bed as soon as it had passed, but it took a while for me to go back to sleep.
As I was attempting to go back to sleep at 3:30 am last Thursday morning, I was thanking God for keeping me safe. It then occurred to me that He has always kept me safe, regardless of the severity of damage that happened outwardly. From the bad storm of '96 to the smaller but still damaging storm 2 years ago and all the way back to my childhood, HE has been with me in every single storm.
I do have a point to make. Not all storms are weather storms. We all have storms of various kinds in life that we go through. God never promised we wouldn't have storms, but He did promise He would protect us in those storms. I am thankful for His protecting hand on me in all the storms of life. That is the point of this long post today.
If you haven't already, please put your trust in Jesus and you will never weather a storm alone.
Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. Psalm 57:1 ESV
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