On the Other Side of Bitter

I was sick for most of April with a sinus infection, which went into bronchitis. I went to the doctor twice for that, because I couldn't stop coughing. I had one good weekend where I felt a little better, and was able to make the long drive to go to my granddaughter's 7th birthday party.

The following Monday I was running fever in the evening. By Wednesday, my face was swollen and painful around my eyes and cheeks, so I went back to the doctor; the third trip to the doctor in 4 weeks. Seventy-five dollars in co-pays and $125 for meds later, I am finally almost completely recovered. It was an ordeal, though, and this past Saturday in my time with the Lord He showed me something that I wanted to share. 

So hang with me, I promise all this has a point.

I have had my share of health issues over the last ten years or so. One of my challenges is a stricture in my esophagus; a tight place that has been so small that I once had an Allegra capsule stuck there for 7 hours before it finally dissolved enough to go down. It has been dilated 3 or 4 times and it's about as good as it's going to be until God heals me completely, which I know without a doubt He can and will do.

Because of this stricture, I have limitations on what I can swallow, and I have to eat slower to allow time for everything to go down. It's frustrating, but I have adjusted and learned to live with it.

When the first antibiotic did not clear up the sinus infection and bronchitis, the doctor decided I needed something stronger to wipe out the infection. Now, I can swallow capsules the size of Tylenol capsules, but the antibiotic he prescribed comes in capsules quite a bit larger than that; too large for me to swallow.

I knew what I had to do; I've taken this particular medicine before. I had to open the capsule and pour its contents into applesauce to get it down. Four times a day for 7 days I did this. Twenty-eight times to be exact. Inconvenient, but doable. 

There was one problem, though.

The contents of these capsules are extremely bitter. It was all I could do to swallow it in a couple of tablespoons of applesauce, after which I drank a lot of water. It was horrible! I almost cried at first with the realization that I had to do this 4 times a day for a week. I started praying before each pill for God to help me. I quoted out loud, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength." After a few days I started feeling better; the medicine was doing its job.

So Saturday morning I was reflecting about how God had been there each time and helped me endure the bitterness and He showed me something. This was a physical healing which required taking a bitter pill 4 times a day, but it applies to other healing as well.

In ALL things I need God, and He helps me through each "bitter pill" experience I go through. When He has told me specifically what path I needed to be on for emotional healing, at times it was so hard to follow through and I wanted to give up. Sometimes I did, and I would end up an emotional wreck again. I would go back to God and ask for healing and deliverance. Each time He was patient and kind and gently guided me back to the path I needed to be on for my healing.

Just like the strong, bitter medicine worked and cured the sinus infection when I took it as prescribed, God has delivered me from many different levels of emotional and spiritual bondage over the years. Each time I had to follow through and do what He had shown me I needed to do to be delivered.

On the other side of taking the 28 antibiotic capsules, I found that the bitter medicine had done its job and I was cured.

The same has been true spiritually. On the other side of the valleys I have gone through, I have found that I was healed after what had seemed like an impossible journey, full of bitter experiences.

I have heard testimonies of people who were immediately healed of all kinds of bondage; they laid down drugs and never craved them again, or they were instantly healed of depression.

For whatever reason, it hasn't worked that way for me. God has delivered me from depression, suicide attempts, and extreme emotional neediness, but for the most part I walked all of those deliverances out by daily following the Lord on the path He had put me on. One foot in front of the other, over and over, day after day I trudged through some hard and painful valleys. I wanted to cry, and many times I did. 

Every time I cried out to the Lord He always helped me. Every time.

And then one day I looked up and realized I was on the mountain top. I saw the sunshine instead of a dense forest of depression. I felt joy instead of sadness. I was happy and content instead of heavy-hearted and dejected. 

My chains were lying at my feet, no longer binding me.

My message is this: Do not give up. Keep on following the voice of Jesus, the Good Shepard. He will not steer you wrong and He really isn't trying to hurt you. It is all for your good and His glory.

Just as sure as 28 bitter pills healed a recurrent sinus infection, one day you'll look around and realize you are no longer in the valley. You are standing on the mountain top free!

"For the Lord is the Spirit, and wherever the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. So all of us who have had that veil removed can see and reflect the glory of the Lord. And the Lord--who is the Spirit--makes us more and more like Him as we are changed into His glorious image." 2 Corinthians 3:17-18, NLT