It's Only Thunder

Yesterday afternoon, a summer thunderstorm came barreling through and demanded my attention.  As usual when it rains, I have to watch even if it's only briefly. I don't have a window at all in my office, so I usually go and stand by the window for a minute when it storms while I'm at work. This one was on Saturday, though, and I could watch as long as I wanted.  I stopped what I was doing and went and laid down on my bed so I could enjoy the show.

It was quite an impressive little thunderstorm.  It boasted a little wind, though not too much, heavy rain, and a LOT of thunder and lightning. My cat was under the bed from the first rumble of thunder. She is terrified of loud noises, and of course, being a cat can't comprehend that this loud noise is not going to hurt her. I didn't see her again for a couple of hours.

That's kind of how we react sometimes, though, isn't it? Some kind of "noise" happens, and we run and hide. Earlier in my walk with Christ, I allowed the enemy to scare me off at the slightest sound. He would say things like:

"You will never overcome your past." I believed him. I considered myself to be unfit to do any real good because I had "failed" at marriage. I hid in the shadows of being divorced, convinced I was a second-class Christian that God had forgiven, but would never use.

"You are too broke to buy your own house." This lie held me captive for a long time; twelve years in fact.  I lived in an apartment for all those years because I was convinced I couldn't possibly buy a house of my own.

"You will never finish college. You should have gone when you were young; it's too late now." This one almost had me, and I started and stopped college classes several times over the years.  The God-given dream was alive inside me, but the noise of the enemy caused me to hide out under the pretense that I was too old and not smart enough to ever finish.

I set limitations on myself for years because of these lies.They were like thunder, only making noise to scare me, but never really being able to harm me. The enemy in his craftiness will say things like this, hoping that a well-placed lie here and there will cause Christians to hurt themselves.  I admit, I fell for them for a long time. I endured a lot of pain and heartbreak for years; not because of the lies, but because of how I reacted to the lies.

I still fall victim to a "rumble of thunder" from the enemy once in a while, but I'm getting better able to discern when I'm hearing a lie. With God's help, I have, and continue to overcome my past. I did buy a house of my own.  And I AM finishing college! This December, just hide and watch while I march onto that stage for my diploma.

Today is August 10, and my summer has slipped away.  Tomorrow the teachers return, which always makes for a busy week for me.  Next Monday, school starts, the kids will be back, and it's back to the school-year routine.

The next day, August 19, is the first day of my last two classes.  I'm ready.  I have that nervous-but-excited feeling I always get when starting new classes.  I love school; I'm sure I always will.

I thought I heard a sound earlier, something about how hard it will be to juggle work and classes again for the next four months. But then I realized it was nothing to worry about. It was only thunder.

"Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world."  1John 4:4 NASB