The Void Within

Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will not be shaken. My victory and honor come from God alone. He is my refuge, a rock where no enemy can reach me. O my people, trust in him at all times. Pour out your heart to him, for God is our refuge. Interlude ~ Psalm 62:5-8 (NLT) 

I have followed Jesus for almost 18 years, and yet I am still learning some very basic truths. For instance, I have found that though it is certainly helpful to creatures of habit like we humans to establish a routine, it is not in the mere repetition of coming before Him every morning that changes us. We could get up at 5 every morning and still not be any different if we have the wrong attitude. So, we must realize that it is in the attitude of the heart. 

Also, we must acknowledge that our needy soul, that cavernous emptiness inside us, can only be filled by God. As long as we try to get our needs filled by other mere humans like ourselves, we will always feel empty. We will never be satisfied, because God created that void in us especially for Himself. If there is a void in our hearts big enough for God, what makes us think we can fill it with people or things? This is really absurd when you think about it. It is only when we come to Him can we be filled. Only then are we truly ready to face the day.

People told me this over and over, and I thought I believed it. But it wasn't until He revealed it to me by His Spirit that I really saw my emptiness. In a particularly dark and painful time in my life recently, I came to Him with my broken heart. I had nowhere else to go; I had run out of options. He then removed the scales from my eyes and I not only saw my neediness, which years ago, in my fallen and sinful state had manifested itself as a need for affirmation, but the root of it all, which originated from rejection in my childhood. He has delivered me, not from being needy, but from feeling like I have to have a human being to fill that need. HE is now the first one I run to with all my joys and heartaches. Sure, I can still share with friends sometimes, but I'm not doing it out of a need to be affirmed but to simply share. It is so hard to explain the difference, but in my time with Him each day, He fills and equips me for whatever I need that day. He has become the "rock of my strength" and "my refuge."

So, take it from someone who knows. Family and friends are wonderful; God certainly put them in our lives to love and enjoy fellowship with. But never make the mistake of thinking that any person, no matter how much you love them or how good a friend, family member, or spouse they are that they will be able to fill the longings of your soul. They will never be able to do it. Only GOD can do that. 

And by the way, don't think of it as a punishment from God if you happen to be single and didn't really think you would be at this stage of your life. Instead, think of it as a treasure; a time for you and God alone. People used to tell me this all the time and I thought they just didn't understand. But HE has opened my eyes and my heart to it. What riches await you in your time with Him! I am only beginning to learn this, for I, too am single again at a time of my life when my children are grown and I had envisioned growing old with my husband. Cease striving--or "stop squirming" as we might tell a child who had trouble being still--and know that HE IS GOD. He has so much He wants to share with you. Come to Jesus and let Him fill your emptiness. He is the only one who can.