I am thankful

For a little while I will continue to post from some older entries that I feel the need to share. Here is one that I posted in November of 2007 on my myspace blog:

It is the season when everyone starts thinking about being thankful. Thanksgiving is 1 day away; but shouldn't we be thankful all the time? I am truly thankful for so many things. Well, I made a list. It is by no means a comprehensive list. I'm sure as soon as I hit "post" I'll think of something else I'm thankful for. But I'm feeling really serious and somewhat down tonight. What better way to pull myself out of the dumps that I am down in than to give thanks to God. Here goes my small attempt at being thankful.

I am thankful that my Father has taken care of me all these years. My 10 year "anniversary," for lack of a better word, was last month. Ten years of being divorced and a single mom. I remember being so scared to be alone on those weekends when the kids would go see their dad. I remember also the strange mix of emotions I felt; freedom and release, mixed with fear, but yet a peace like I had never known. I was still a baby Christian then; I didn't really give my heart to Jesus until 1994. October 31, 1994, 12 noon to be exact. At times I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. I finished raising the youngest one by myself. I have asked God, "Did I do it right, God?" Only He knows. I do know that my Father was there beside me in those dark days. I may have messed up at times, but He never left my side, not for one moment. I know this, not because I felt His presence all the time. No, I know this because His word says He will never forsake me. It doesn't say if you do everything right He will be there. It just says He will be there. I am thankful for that.

I am thankful, believe it or not, for the many tears I have shed over the last 10 years. I think I must have made my Father's shoulder soggy with all the tears I cried all over it. I still cry on His shoulder. But I'm not complaining. No, I am thankful for those tears. They were and are necessary for my healing. They are God's way of giving me a safety valve to let the pressure off sometimes. They assure me that God is near, because He promised to be near to the brokenhearted. They are somehow necessary in the healing process, and I am thankful for them. I went almost 2 years during this 10 years unable to cry at all. I am very thankful He has given me back the ability to feel, because when you put up walls to shelter yourself from pain, you also shut out the good along with it. I can once again feel joy, love, and peace, because God is now my shield, my fortress, my hiding place. He shelters me in the storms; nothing gets through to me unless He allows it. I am thankful for that.

While I'm thanking God, I am also thankful for my wonderful kids (grown-up kids are still kids to a mom, I think we established that several blogs ago). I am very proud of all of them. They are following their dreams.

I am thankful for my wonderful friends. I couldn't make it without them. My close friends know me, but love me anyway.

I am thankful for my church. I am thankful for my job. I am thankful for my car, which is paid for. I am thankful that I can go to college and follow my dream.

I am thankful.

"I will cry to God Most High, to God, who accomplishes all things for me....
I will give thanks to You, O Lord, among the peoples;
I will sing praises to You among the nations" Psalm 57:2,9