An Important Anniversary

Today, October 31, is a very important day to me. Not because it's Halloween, but in spite of it. It's my spiritual birthday...the day I gave my heart to Jesus. I have mulled this over and prayed off and on all day, starting on my walk this morning. I feel like I have to share it.  

It's been on my blog since 2010, but most people probably don't go to that site, even though I provide the link. So I'm editing the testimony I had posted on there (because it's long!) and putting the gist of it here. 

***I was raised in church.  I did all the "churchy" stuff; I went to Sunday school, attended Vacation Bible School every summer, and went to youth camp as a teenager.  I knew exactly how to "do church."  After many years of going through the motions, I convinced myself I was a Christian. I can remember trying really hard to please everyone and do the right stuff so they would all be happy.  I never felt I measured up; and I was right! I was trying to bridge the gap between God and me by being good enough, and that just IS NOT possible.  I was lost.

I won't elaborate on the many years I went on like this, but basically, it went on for years.  I married at the tender age of 18 and had all three of our wonderful kids by the time I was 27. We tried to stay in church, but it was very hard, and I know I was unsaved, which was part of the problem...Because of my upbringing, I knew that our kids needed to be in church. I was drawn there, and I know now it was the Holy Spirit convicting me and drawing me to Christ.  Eventually though, by the time the oldest was a teenager, we had pretty much stopped going. Great timing to drop out of church just about the time the kids reach their teens.

In 1993, I started going with my daughter to a nearby church that she wanted to attend.  My life didn't change immediately, though. Even though I was finally in church, I was still walking in darkness in my heart. I had been depressed for a long time and was very unhappy. I know now that satan had built a stronghold of depression and fear in my heart. I had deluded myself into thinking that I was ok. I justified every sinful and selfish thing I did. I was never "out there;" into drugs or alcohol, but I might have seen my sinfulness if I had been. Instead, I didn't realize I needed saving.  After all, I had been raised in church; I had a Godly heritage.

It all came crashing down on October 31, 1994. On that particular morning, I had come home at daybreak after working all night at Walmart. In those days, department managers reset the counters for the next season after the store closed at 9:00 pm. I had to reset my department for Christmas since it was Halloween.  I tried to sleep after my husband and kids left for work and school, but even with black trash bags over the windows it was hard to sleep. I was so convicted about my life and how I had been living, going through the motions of Christianity but not actually willing to turn control over to God. In short, I was miserable. I slept 3 or 4 hours and finally got up about noon.

I went into the living room and just fell down on the floor. Something broke in me and I just started crying out to God. I had made a complete mess of my life trying to be in charge, and I finally saw my need for a Savior. The Word I had been hearing at the church I had been attending for a year did not return void; it was at work in me all that time.  I saw the truth at last, and I was so ashamed that I had rejected Jesus' sacrifice all those years. So many wasted years! I asked Him to forgive me and I received Jesus as my Savior right then and there. I laid there crying for close to an hour I guess, brokenhearted.  

Here's an excerpt from my journal:

"October 31, 1994:  This was the day that I laid the broken pieces of my life at the feet of Jesus. He was so real to me that day, alone in my house, that I could almost see Him standing in my living room...I asked Him to forgive me and to fill my heart with His love, because I felt no one really loved me. I asked Him to fill my cup, as I lifted it to Him, until it overflowed with His love. I asked for Him to fill me with the Holy Spirit and use me somehow in His work. The results continue to amaze me...God has allowed my pain & hurt, BUT—now I listen to Him. I probably wouldn’t have if I had lived the “perfect life” I had wanted.  He is molding me so He can use me..."

I would love to tell you that everything was rosy and perfect in my life after that, but it wasn't.  I did have the peace of God finally, and by His grace I got through some very dark days in the next few years.  My brother died suddenly in December 1995, my mother died three months after him in February 1996, and in 1997, my marriage ended in spite of best efforts. I can see now that only because I was trusting in Jesus could I have survived those days; His grace truly was--and IS--sufficient for me. 

I have never been the same...thank God! ***

So THAT is why October 31 is so important to me. Not because it's Halloween, but because of the redeeming work that Jesus began in my life on that day.

I wrote another blog about the house I bought in the hometown I moved here from. It's about a special thing that God did for me on the anniversary of my salvation. I almost posted that one, but I felt strongly that the original Halloween posting and the reason I'm even writing today to try and encourage others was the one I needed to post today.

Blessings, friends! 

 

Changing Seasons

I hesitate to say this, but...I do believe it's finally fall! About a week ago, it went from the 70s on the morning walk to the 50s. I'm so happy! I had to walk early to be able to endure it; the temperature was getting to 85 some days. Now, I can walk anytime of the day because it's much cooler. I think our high today was 60.

We've even had some rain for our parched land. Overnight I've gone from walking in short sleeved shirts to wearing long pants and sweatshirts for my daily walk. Plus, I don't have to put my hair up when I'm not getting sweaty. It's wonderful! (I'll post an un-glamourous picture of me walking a couple of days ago for context).

When I wrote last, there were workers moving the art work around at the ASU campus. I thought they were adding new ones, but it appears they have just rearranged them, spreading them out to more areas of the walking trails. Most of them are closer to the trails now, like the one of the catfish, entitled "For the Love of Rivers." It had been too far off the trail before for me to be able to see the title until they moved it. I'll post some pictures of the art.

Also, beginning last week they started putting up the drive through Christmas decorations on the ASU campus! So exciting. The Christmas decorations at ASU are breathtaking. I will be posting pictures when I drive through.

Speaking of Christmas, I will start decorating my house soon. I can't wait! I know it's too early for some of you. I get it; I used to not want to rush the season and fussed about it all the time. I don't know what happened; I have had a change of heart. I respect your right to wait a while, but this is my favorite time of year. I'm rejoicing in the cooler weather and the upcoming Thanksgiving and Christmas seasons. I leave up some of the fall decor as I start decorating for the holidays, but it's mostly Christmas at my house by the time Thanksgiving arrives.

In years past I would post "from the patio" and show the sun's movement from rising in the northeast to the southeast. I haven't done that lately but I got a picture just as the sun topped the trees behind my house. It's moved so much since the last time I posted about it, I believe on the longest day of the year in June. I know it's nerdy of me, but I am fascinated by some aspects of science.

I guess this is getting kind of long, but let me just end this post by saying how joyful this time of year makes me. For the first time in years, I'm feeling better emotionally as well as physically. Slightly shifting my meds and adding in some vitamins has made an amazing difference. I actually had the energy to walk to the end and back of the more level path a few days ago--1.88 miles in all. Now that it's cooler I hope to lengthen my walks, at least on some days. 

Blessings to my friends and family!

"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again; Rejoice!" Philippians 4:4 NIV

Where Are You Autumn?

Almost immediately after I posted how calm it has been lately and how I love retirement, it got busy. I just spent two weeks of having something I had to do every day. This included some doctor appointments, some volunteer work, and picking up grandkids a few days after school. 

I'm not complaining about any of it; especially picking up the grandkids. I love that I live here now and can do that. There was just a lot that happened within this 2-week period, and I was exhausted by last weekend. 

One of my appointments involved bloodwork for a suspected vitamin deficiency. Turns out I'm deficient in B12 and need injections to supplement my low supply. After the first shot, I'm already feeling better. I was wondering where all my energy had gone, and why I was kind of sad!

I'm still walking daily, except on Sundays. I'm thankful I always wake up with the energy to accomplish this, because I believe it is good for me. This morning, I discovered that the college is moving the walking trail art exhibits around. As I walked, I noticed some were gone but then discovered that they had only been "shuffled," as one of the campus personnel called it. They are rearranging them and adding in some new ones. I'll post some pictures when they are finished.

In other news, it's still feeling like summer here, and I am OVER IT! Fall is my 2nd favorite season (after winter), and it still gets up to 85 degrees some days so it might as well still be summer. It is generally cooler in the mornings, which is good, but it heats up quickly. 

We also need rain very, very badly. I can't remember such a dry fall in recent history. 

Someone needs to find autumn, or at least write a song about it, something similar to the one from The Grinch, only it needs to be "where are you autumn?" LOL! I'm about to become a real grinch if it doesn't become sweater weather soon. 

Sorry for the negativity. I do tend to get cranky when summer drags on too long, though. I am not a fan of hot weather.

Even in the midst of a long, hot dry spell, I am still thankful. God has been good to me, and I'm still convinced HE is the reason I wake up eager to get out to my favorite walking trails every morning. I enjoy my walks so much.

As I continue to pray for rain, I also thank God every day for my good health at the age of 70 (going on 71 in 3 months). I'm so blessed.

I thank Him for my family and friends that He has given me, and I thank Him for enabling me to write this blog. Writing is a passion of mine; it makes me happy. 

I am including some pictures, as usual, from the last couple of weeks. A pretty sunset from a late walk, some of my fall decor, and my refreshed tiny garden, with mums. These things bring me joy. I will try to get them all labeled. 

Be blessed, my friends. 

"On God my salvation and my glory rest; the rock of my strength, my refuge is in God. Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your heart before Him; God is a refuge for us. Selah." Psalm 62:7,8 NASB

Sunset on a late walk

Some living room decor

front porch

front porch

My tiny garden, refreshed

Close up of mums

 

Calmer and Cooler

Well, September has come and gone, and just like that...it's October. It seems like it flew by. Now that we are in October, we have slightly cooler temperatures. Only slightly. Summer doesn't seem to have received the memo that its time is over, but that's Arkansas for you.

A couple of weekends ago, I went with my church's 55+ group to see David at Sight and Sound in Branson. WOW! What an amazing show that was! I believe it runs through most of the fall. See it if you can, it's incredible.

In September I had coffee on the front porch a few times; since the rain we had in a couple of weeks ago it has been cool enough in the morning to sit out there. I have always felt like I'm in a better attitude for prayer when I'm in nature. I enjoy the breeze, the blue sky, and my little summer flower garden that is "soldiering on." I keep them watered and in return, they keep on blooming. Though lately they are looking a tad tired and weary; especially the petunias. I think this weekend I'm going to get some mums for out there to brighten up the space.

On my only evening walk recently, I almost waited too late. I was walking fast because it was sundown and getting dark fast. I took a picture of the sliver of moon mixed in with the parking lot lights on the college campus. 

Last weekend I spent a little time by the river. While there, I saw the tiniest little frog! He was mesmerized by the lights on the step he was sitting on. My granddaughter moved him to a safer, less bright part of the yard.

Also while hanging out with family, I sat by a fire pit and roasted marshmallows for s'mores. I love sitting by the fire on an autumn evening. I got a picture of the moon as it was about to set over the river.

Other than those events, it's been pretty quiet around here. I live a boring life, at least by some people's standards, I suppose. Most mornings I walk on the trails at the college and come home and sit by my garden with my coffee. In the course of the day I do other things, like write, work on my Bible study homework, and sometimes work on my photo albums. Of course, there are my visits to the library every other week because I still read every day, though not as much as when I first retired.

I'm glad it's calm. I spent so many years rushing here and there and not slowing down much. Retirement is still wonderful. No complaints here.

Actually, though, even though I've retired from my job, I haven't retired as a Christian. I don't really think we are supposed to retire from the great commission or our spiritual gifts. That is why I write my blog; to offer some encouragement and to point people to Jesus. 

So, that's all I have for today. Enjoy autumn, my friends, and be encouraged.

"Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." Matthew 11:28 NLT