What I've Been Up To

So, here's what I've been up to...

Retirement is wonderful. For the past 8 months since I left my job and stepped into the unknown world as a retiree in a new town, I have slept in a lot, read, watched TV and movies, and spent a lot of time with my family that I moved here to be close to. 

At first, after I was unpacked and settled in, I just wandered through my duplex trying to figure out what I needed to do. 

Suddenly, for the first time in many years, I felt like I didn't have a purpose. That whole post last week was about how I am a writer and need to allow myself to do that. I will do more of that, but that's only one facet of my new life.

I have so many things I want to do, and now I finally have time to do them. However, at times it's so overwhelming! What to choose? 

I have my self-imposed "family historian" duties, which I have taken on myself to do because I love working on that. I'm revising photo albums with journaling on the pages to describe who are in the pictures and what the event was. Also, I'm scanning older printed pictures into digital storage for back up.

There are the collector souvenir spoons I have been collecting since 1974. The collection is getting large and I'm looking at new ways to display them. So, there's that project.

Of course, there are always books to read. I have been reading a lot more, although it's usually only an hour before bed at night. I don't sit and read all day, though I guess I could some days if I wanted to. I have fallen in love with books again after many years of not reading very much. I'm using the public library here, visiting every other week to take back and check out more books. It's a wonderful place, and big enough to get lost in. I love it.

Perhaps one of the most important things I've been doing is paying better attention to my health. I've started walking at a local park that has an excellent system of trails. I walked three days this past week. My legs ached at night, but I was pleased that I had finally been motivated enough to get some exercise.

So, this is not an earth-shattering type of post; just a little note to let my readers know that first, I really to intend to write more and second, life is good in my little neck of the woods where I now live. I'm adapting.

I'll leave this little bit of encouragement from Philippians:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7 NASB

Until next time, be blessed my friends. Love y'all! 💓

Work Looks Different These Days

A couple of days ago, I realized I hadn't been writing in my journal. In fact, I became aware that I was not lingering as long to hear from the Spirit in my quiet time in the mornings, when I have prayer and Bible reading. 

Ironically, I finally became aware of this because I lingered a little longer. Yep.

I had been reading Psalm 34 over and over; I read some parts out loud, and I sat and meditated on what its meaning was. The whole chapter is amazing, but I want to focus on this part:

Keep your tongue from evil and your lips from speaking deceit. Depart from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it. Psalm 34:13, 14.  

The last phrase, "seek peace and pursue it" really hit home with me. I started thinking, how do I seek peace?

This led me to ponder why I haven't been sitting as long, listening, and writing in my journal. Then I began to comprehend what was going on:

I feel like I should be "busy;" up and dressed and "doing something constructive." All those years I was in the work force, I was up and "being constructive" by no later than 7:30 am in the morning in the school office. 

It dawned on me that I have been feeling like I'm being lazy. I have falsely believed that "busy is good" and "being still is laziness."

But, as I have discovered in the last few years, I'm a writer. It's actually my only job now, since I retired. Writers have to sit still to write what they need to write. It's how they do their work; it's the method needed to do their job!

Since retirement last July, I have not ceased being busy; and when I am not being busy and on my feet doing some type of physical work like laundry, housework, or sorting through stuff to donate, I have fallen into the trap of feeling guilty for not being productive. 

Sidenote: I've even allowed myself to feel guilty for reading so much more (mostly an hour before bed, or 15 minutes here and there waiting to pick up the grandkids). I've averaged about a book a week since January 1. 

It is probably understandable to still feel like I need to be doing something; after all, I had to pull my non-morning-person self up and force myself out the door to work for so many years. So many years.

Back then, I had a sense of purpose. I knew what I was supposed to do. It was, by the way, a desk job requiring me to sit and do computer work and deposits and all that bookkeeper type of stuff.  Strange that I never felt like I was not being productive by sitting still back then.

It was a wonderful job, and it was given to me by God. I loved my job, and because God gave it to me, He enabled me to be good at it. In and of myself I wouldn't have been able to do it. 

It was actually painful to give it up, but I knew deep in my heart that it was time...time to do the job God has given me for this next phase of my life.

Writing.

God put writing within me a long time ago. It's a gift; part of His spiritual gift in me of encouragement. 

How does that work? A person who has struggled with depression and anxiety for most of her life is an encourager?

Crazy I know. But here we are. However, I always know I have to lean close in and hear from God. I cannot do this without Him. He gets all the glory that way.

So, if He wants me to exercise my gift to write and encourage, He knows I have to have some part of my day to sit and do just that. Therefore, I should not feel guilty for sitting and listening to the Lord when I'm meditating on His word.

Some people are called to do the more physical things, like those called to hospitality. Man, I wish I could do those things! Those people who love to cook and plan parties and stuff like that. God love them, they are so important! We need them. I'm in awe of them; I can't do what they do. 

I am not that person, and I've finally just admitted it.

I can no longer accept the condemnation heaped on me by my own perception of what productivity looks like. I've felt inadequate for far too long. Those people who are naturally physically active people who have the capacity to be more active, those who like to cook and entertain, or the ones who are outgoing and can talk to people with ease are exercising their God given gifts. God put that within them to do those things.

I'm no way trying to say they are better than I am, or I am better than they. Please hear my heart on this. 

They have their job to do, and I have mine.

"Lord, today I accept the assignment You gave me all those years ago when I accepted You as Savior, and I fully embrace it. I will be still and know you are God; and I will write."

Blessings, friends. 💗