In the last bit of 2021...

We are in the last 2 hours of 2021 as I write this. Until a few minutes ago, I have been sitting alone in my living room and binge-watching the first season of Lost in Space (the new version...though I'm old enough to remember the version that was on TV in the 60s). This version is pretty good. I had watched season 1 and then never got around to watching season 2. Now, there's a season 3 and I didn't remember what happened in season 1. So I started over.

It is worth mentioning that God has done an amazing work in my heart, because I actually prefer being alone tonight watching Netflix. In not too distant years past, FOMO (fear of missing out) would have pulled me out of the house to some event. I so desperately needed to belong for so many years. Now, however, I'm content and happy to be alone on New Year's Eve.

This year that is drawing to a close, 2021, brought a lot of changes to my life. At times I look around and marvel at what God has done in my life.

January through June, I finished out my contract in the office of the school where I had worked since 1995. It still blows my mind that I no longer work there.

That portion of the year flew by, and I found myself among the ranks of the retired on July 1. I sold my house, packed up, and moved to a town that is a 3-and-a-half-hour drive away from my beloved hometown; the only place I had ever lived. I miss it, but I at the same time I am loving retirement and having my family so close by. 

It has been an adjustment, but a good one. In mid-September, I found a duplex in a good neighborhood. I really like it here. I do miss my friends from my hometown, but the trade-off is I get to see my grandkids often; at least once a week. 

There are some things I don't like. I was used to living in a small town which was next door to a bigger town. There were lots of different stores, restaurants, and really great medical care. 

Here, we are in a smaller town in the middle of nowhere:

There is no drive through Starbucks! 

The variety of restaurants and retail stores is very limited.

And I still haven't found a doctor who will take on a new patient, which means that in a couple of weeks, in order to get my prescriptions refilled for the next 6 months, I have to go back to my physician in the larger city that I lived close to previously. 

I tell myself, though, that these are first-world problems. I will survive. I don't need to eat out or shop much anyway, and I found a drive though (though non-Starbucks) coffee place.

When it's all said and done, I would do it all again. I am in the same town with my daughter and her family for the first time. Having family across town is amazing. 

My youngest son and his wife visited me for Christmas, and while we were having dinner at my daughter's house, we zoom called my oldest son. So I was talking to all my children that day. 

This year has had its challenges, but it has had good things too. 

I noticed this entry in my journal, and I want to share it.

"Your lovingkindness, O Lord, extends to the heavens, Your faithfulness reaches to the skies...the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings. They drink their fill of the abundance of Your house; and You give them to drink of the river of your delights."  --Psalm 36--

Bottom line: God takes care of us wherever we are. He is good and faithful, and I feel really blessed.

Happy New Year to all my friends and family! May 2022 be a good year filled with Hope and Promise for you all! 

Are You Up for the Task?

Thanksgiving day.  Many of us pause and reflect on our lives and consider how blessed we are and what we are thankful for.  We did this at our family dinner today. I told everyone I'm thankful for retirement and for family being 15 minutes away, instead of 3 1/2 hours.

I didn't lie; this is true. After deeper reflection this evening, however, I have found more to be thankful for. Please bear with me while I share a story with you.

For most of my life through 26 years ago, I was not really an organized person. I struggled all through the years my children were growing up, barely keeping up with everything, and most of the time I felt very inadequate. Because of my own upbringing, I had extremely low self-esteem. I compared myself with everyone I knew, before there was social media, which causes a lot of us to feel like we come up short these days if we let it.  I don't think I would have done as well as I did if I'd had immediate access to everything we have today. My fragile self-image would have shattered.

Also, a very important bit of info to note is that, though I grew up in church I did not accept Jesus as my Savior until I was 39. My children were teenagers by then. 

By the grace of God, I started a new job at the beginning of the school year in 1995, and I had a decent job at last. 

So in February of 1996, just a little over a year after I accepted Christ, the situation was this: my children were teens and one was actually already in college. My marriage was barely hanging on by a thread, but I had a steady, decently paying job, which in hindsight I see now was a gift from God, and an integral part of His plan for me.

And then, on February 28, my mother suddenly died. It was devastating, but for now I'm going to focus on something very practical regarding the whole situation. It was also a very emotional time of course, but this is where the miracle comes in.

Suddenly, I had all the arrangements to make for her funeral and for going through all her possessions. All this was up to me because just 3 months before, my only brother had also died suddenly. It was all up to me.

After the funeral I had three weeks to get her apartment cleaned out and the key turned in.

I remember sitting there, alone in that apartment, and praying for God to help me. I had no idea what to do or where to start. I was a 41-year-old mother of three and had very poor organizational skills. I was not prepared nor equipped for what lay ahead of me. However, I am certain that what happened after that prayer was a God thing. I believe that after that prayer, He gave me the ability and enabled me to do what I needed to do.

The answer came in several stages. I know now that all of this was God directing me, even though it just came to me as an idea. First, it occurred to me to start at the door of the room I was in and consider each thing, one at a time as I worked. I felt like I should go around the room and tackle each thing. I simply obeyed God's leading and did exactly that. I may have been in shock; I don't remember many other details about that time of my life. This was probably for the best, because I needed to set emotions aside and work on the task at hand.

Sometimes extreme adversity that seems like it will break us is exactly what God uses to equip us for what He has planned for us.  

Every day for 3 weeks I worked all day at my job and then went to my mother's apartment to work on going through her stuff. At one point, as I started to encounter a LOT of pictures everywhere (my dad had been a photographer, so there were tons of them), the thought came to me that I should get three large plastic containers and sort the pictures into them by approximate time periods: 1) very old pictures, 2) pictures of my childhood era, and 3) pictures that were more current. 

The only explanation for how I was able to accomplish this is it was a miracle. I feel like God put the organizational skill into me that I needed to complete the task at hand. I went through all her stuff, sorting and organizing as if I were a professional organizer. I suddenly just knew how to proceed when faced with a house full of my mother's personal belongings. I had never been able to do that before in my life! But I was doing it, AND I was able to do it without crumbling into a million pieces emotionally.

That is a miracle, in my opinion.

I rented a storage building and put her furniture and the things I had boxed up into it, with plans to have a garage sale in the spring when it warmed up. I know I had to have had help to move all that furniture, but I have no memory of that at all. None.

Two months later, in April 1996, an F3 tornado ripped through our town and tore the roof partly off the storage building where all my mother's stuff was. When we were finally allowed in, I found most of it ruined, but the photos were unharmed because I had felt strongly that the pictures should be in waterproof containers.

This is no coincidence. It was GOD. He is the only possible explanation of how I could do what I did.

As far as the furniture went, I just had to consider most of it a loss. I was so thankful that I had put the pictures and sentimental items into plastic containers.

I told this story to encourage someone today. I have really felt strongly for several days that I had to share this story of how I became organized, a life skill that has served me well ever since that emergency time that I was facing a mountain with no way to move it. I believe God gave me the ability. I was a mess back then, and yet God worked a miracle to equip me for what He knew I would have to do. To this very day, I am still extremely organized. 

I am SO thankful for what He did for me during that very hard, stressful time in my life all those years ago.

I didn't really want to share this, it seemed silly to me that anyone would be interested, but the feeling that I had to was strong, so I did.

Someone reading this needs to know that God is willing and waiting to help if you will only ask. There may be a mountain in front of you, but He will show you what needs to be done and equip you for the task, whatever it is. It doesn't have to be the same type of help He gave me. It may be something completely different, but you feel you aren't up for the task. You can't do it unless He equips you.

He did it for me 26 years ago, and He will do it for you.  You are not alone. He is right beside you.

God is our refuge and strength, A very ready help in trouble. Psalm 46:1

Meanwhile, in a Nearby Small Town...

Well, ok, it's not so nearby to most of my friends and family, but I have been busy in the town I moved to in August.

I have once again been too busy to write. In mid-September I found a duplex for rent and my contract started on Sept 15, the birthday of my firstborn child. I spent the last half of September moving in, and have been getting settled in my new place since then. I decided to rent for a while because the housing market is crazy right now. Everything is sky-high expensive. I will possibly look into buying in a year...or maybe I'll just continue to rent. It's kind of nice to not have to worry about the expenses that come with being a homeowner, and the rent is decent.

I've kind of fallen into the rabbit hole of YouTube videos; specifically those about minimalism, rental renos, and decorating. I pulled myself away to write because lately I've been feeling like I am supposed to. Actually, I've felt like I'm supposed to write a book, maybe more than one, for a while now. So I'm exercising the typing muscles and writing in my blog. 

All the YouTube videos have made me feel inadequate to some degree, but my gift is writing, not public speaking. I don't think I could ever feel comfortable doing a "vlog," as they call the video version of blogging. It's just not me.

But will anyone continue to read my blogs? In today's world, no one seems to have time to read; everyone wants to watch or listen. Several people I know listen to podcasts every day for their daily Bible reading and for devotionals.

Maybe that's why I need to pursue the book-writing. 

Call me old-fashioned; I still like the written word. I have read 21+ books (that's an estimate; I've actually lost count) in 2021; most of those since I retired in June. I have really enjoyed having time to read, but I don't read more than about an hour a day because I have so many other things I want to do.

That's really all I have for the moment. If you read this, consider commenting either on the blog post or Facebook or Twitter. Would you continue to read a blog, or have you become more accustomed to listening instead of reading?

I'd be interested to know if I still have any followers. 

This scripture has stuck with me for days now; it causes me to think about my sphere of influence, and how can fulfill the plans God has for me? He has put a fire into my heart to write. Maybe that's what I'm supposed to do, either with more regular blogging (MUCH more regular blogging), and eventually, books?

"Devote yourselves to prayer, keeping alert in it with an attitude of thanksgiving; praying at the same time for us as well, that God will open up to us a door for the word, so that we may proclaim the mystery of Christ..."  Colossians 4:2,3 NASB

New Chapter

It's been a while since I have written in this blog. There's been a LOT going on.

For starters, I'll sum up (too much to 'splain just yet):

June 18: On the day after my last official work day (I had vacation days to use up), I sold my house.

June 30: I officially retired from the school where I had worked since 1995.

August 3: I closed on the house I had bought in 2009 and that same day, drove 3 1/2 hours to where my daughter and her family lives.

Yep, a lot has happened in a short amount of time. Welcome to the new chapter of my life. Now, let me explain what's been going on.

Several years ago, when I first started thinking about retirement, I started entertaining the thought of moving to where my family lives. Those who know me know that I could have not been persuaded to leave my hometown, the only place I have lived for the 66.5 years of my life so far, unless God directed me to. I liked my little house and my little town. I had close friends at church and at work. I was content.

Until I wasn't. About 2 years ago, I really started to feel isolated from family and friends. Several good friends had retired or became involved in their own families to a greater extent so that I seldom saw them. Completely understandable, but those are the facts. Also, I only saw my kids about once a year, and 2-3 times a year I traveled to the town where I am now living to see my grandkids.

Then Covid came along, and all that came to an abrupt halt. There was no more seeing anyone, anytime. I was working from home, where I lived alone. I didn't see my friends, my co-workers, my church family, or my children and grandchildren. The only social interaction I had was on zoom and Facetime calls.

I don't have to tell you, though; you all lived it with me. Our society has changed drastically in the past year and a half.

My daughter had been suggesting that I moved to their town when I retired. I had been hesitant, but still open to the suggestion for SOMEDAY. Not right away, though. That is, until the 4 1/2 months of working from home and isolation I endured from mid-March through the first week of August in 2020.

I'm not outgoing; I'm actually quite the introvert, and I do fine by myself with some social interaction every so often. I didn't do so well with 4+ months of it, though.

I started to feel like I was on an island, and there were no boats venturing close to it. I went days without uttering a sound because there was no one anywhere near me.

My beloved 15-year-old cat, Izzy, had crossed the rainbow bridge in December 2020, so I didn't even have her to talk to.

The idea of moving started to sound plausible. 

About a year ago, I started considering putting my house up for sale in the spring of 2021. I prayed about it a lot, and somewhere along the way a number--a sale price for my house--came to me. I pushed it aside because I knew nothing about selling a house and what to ask for it.

But the number stayed there. I began to realize that it was God putting that number in my head. I felt He was telling me that this was the price I would get for it.

I consulted a friend at church who is a realtor, and she told me what I should ask for my house if I wanted to sell it on my own. This price was a little more than the number I had been thinking of, but it's what I decided to start with. The plan was to try and sell it for a few weeks, then list it with her if it didn't sell.

By the middle of June, the people who had been interested in my house all backed away. No one even countered my asking price. I decided that meant I was supposed to list it, so I made an appointment for June 18, my first day of vacation, to meet with my realtor and list my house.

Meanwhile...(this is where it gets good)...    

I needed to train my replacement at my job, but we had difficulty getting together. I finally got to work with her for 2 hours on my last day on the job, at the end of the day. I now know that this was exactly how God set it up.

The peace of God enveloped me when I met her; I knew she was who God wanted to have my job. He had given it to me years before in a strange turn of events and I had loved my job. It was the job I was meant to do. Now I knew He had done the same for her.

I had paperwork to turn in to the administration office, but they were closed by the time we were finished that day, so I went to turn in the paperwork the next morning, on the first day of my vacation, June 18. Because I had to go to the office to turn this in, I saw and talked to someone I didn't see often. As it turns out, this is who bought my house. 

I had been feeling a little irritated that the events of that week had not lined up like I had planned. But God...HE had a plan.

The price? There was an offer, and I countered. Then the buyer countered the number that had been in my head for almost a year. 

I started crying because I knew God was working to sell my house.

GOD sold my house. I had nothing to do with it. 

I still don't have a house of my own; housing is hard to find right now. But I have my daughter and son-in-law's basement apartment to live in until I find a place. My needs are met. God had it all worked out.

So begins my new chapter, in a new town. God is in control, He has shown me that repeatedly. 

By the way, this is the scripture that came to me when I woke up this morning:

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 NIV

Remembering a Special Person

Today would have been my cousin Peggy's 84th birthday. She became a resident of Heaven on December 7, 2020; exactly 54 years to the day after our sweet grandma, "Mammy," passed away.

Our mothers were sisters, and she was my only first cousin. The family I grew up in was small. My mom's one sister had one child, and my parents only had two. My brother died many years ago, and now Peggy is gone. I'm the only one left from our generation. 

It seems odd that I am in the same generation as my brother, who was fifteen years older than me, and my cousin, who was eighteen years older than me. I was a late and unexpected addition to the family, no where near the ages of her and my brother, who grew up together. 

She was more like a second mother or a favorite aunt than my cousin. I loved spending time with her. I have fond memories of getting to go with her on errands when I was very young. 

Peggy took me to my first movie when I was 9 years old. Disney's Cinderella came out that year, 1964, and we went to the Malco on Garrison Avenue in Fort Smith to see it. Afterwards, we went to Pizza Hut for my first taste of pizza.

When I was seventeen, she and her family went to Six Flags and she asked my mom if I could go. Amazingly, my mom let me go! (I was very sheltered). Her son, who is four years younger than me, was thirteen and she turned us loose to go and ride anything we wanted to with instructions to meet at a certain place for lunch. 

Two teenage cousins loose in Six Flags. We had such fun! I think we rode every ride twice! And of course, she didn't have to ride stuff with him! Brilliant. She got sick on rides, and I never have. That was a great game; an all star memory that I still think of as the most fun I had ever had at that point in my life. 

Like I said, I was over-protected, and on that trip I got to be a teenager just having fun.

After I was grown and married with children of my own, we didn't hang out quite as much. After my mother passed away suddenly in 1996, though, we became close again. We went shopping a lot, one of her favorite pastimes. I have never been one to really enjoy shopping, but Peggy made it fun. 

Always, without fail, after a couple of hours she would announce that she needed some coffee, and off we'd go in search of somewhere to have a mid-afternoon snack. I think this is why I always have to stop and have coffee or a Coke and some kind of snack when I'm doing serious shopping, like at Christmas.

Once not long after my mother died, we drove to Little Rock to shop in a bigger and better mall. We had such fun on that trip! We each bought a new wallet, because we decided we needed to become more organized. We cleaned out our purses and put all our wallet contents in our new wallets. It may not sound fun, but it was to us. Looking back, I know she was grieving as much as I was for my mother. It was so like her to find a fun way to help us both mourn the loss we had just experienced. She was very close to my mom.

Maybe about a year before she had a stroke in 2012, we went on one last shopping trip. I didn't know it was the last, and it was for the best that I didn't. I had bought my house a couple of years earlier, but she hadn't bought me a housewarming gift she said. So she bought me a lamp for my living room. Of course, we had coffee and dessert, and I believe it was Denny's where we had our mid-shopping trip refreshments.

I still have that lamp, and several other mementos of a very special family member. While I treasure the items she bought for me --I know her love language had to be gift giving--most of all I treasure the memories of her shopping with me. My main love language is quality time, so it meant to me that she loved me, because she spent time with me.  

So, happy birthday in heaven, Peggy. You were not only family, you were a great friend to me. You had a gift for making a little shopping trip into a great adventure. We usually didn't buy a lot, but the memories I have are the treasure anyway.

<3