This time of year, with its hearts and flowers, is my least favorite, as I have said before. This past week, smack in the middle of my least favorite time of year, I had some minor surgery, which as it turns out, had a major impact on my life for such a minor procedure. Physically, I have been down, in some serious pain, and literally flat on my back. Something happens in your psyche when you are in pain. For me, the constant pain caused me to take stock and see what is really important. In one day, I went from planning a minor bedroom redo to praying for God to help me get from the couch to the kitchen.
Thank God, I am finally on the mend. The turning point came a couple of days ago, and I am very glad to be more myself. During the down time, though, I had some very intense talks with God, and He showed me some things that I hadn't seen before. He showed me that I have spent far too much energy disliking the 2 or 3 weeks when the whole world seems to be caught up in hearts, love, and all that mushy-goo to which I have developed such an aversion over the years. Until He revealed it to me, I didn't realize how much negative energy I had focused on the very event I have told myself I was avoiding. Instead of focusing on what I don't have in my life, I should instead focus on what I do have. I have made a list:
I have a relationship with the God of the Universe and my name is in the Lamb's Book of Life. If it ended there, I would be blessed far beyond what I could ever hope for or desire. But it goes on.
I was married for 24 years, and have 3 wonderful children from that marriage. I love my children, their spouses, and my granddaughter with all my heart.
Within a half-day's drive is my daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter. I am blessed to be able to see them every month or so.
My son in Georgia and my son and daughter-in-law in Virginia, while both a two-day drive away, are also accessible by a 1/2 day plane trip. I thank God for providing for occasional air travel, and the chance to see somewhere different in the process.
While I'm at it, I also thank God for Skype, and the ability to see and talk to my kids on my computer screen frequently.
I have the best church family EVER. I love them as if we were blood kin. God knew what He was doing when He placed me there in 1999; He knew my family was moving farther away, and He compensated for it by giving me a close and loving family of brothers and sisters.
I have a great, God-given job, and my work family is a wonderful and close-knit group.
The list could go on and on, but you get the idea. I am blessed, and I am choosing to no longer focus on what I lack, but the wonderful blessings that God has given me.
~ Philippians 4:8 NLT
