A few weeks back, I was reflecting on my life on a Saturday morning, and suddenly I was journaling about it. I have felt for a couple of weeks that I should post it, so that's what I'm doing. The following is taken from that Saturday morning-with-coffee time of reflection:
There are some things I have learned about myself over the years.
Fact #1--I can't function in chaos. Right now there are various items on the kitchen table, where I am seated, that do not belong here. Some mail, mostly junk, that never made it to the bill rack or trash can. It has to be sorted though, because there are some pieces of this that I need. There's a half full water bottle for some reason. My Bible case. Pens and markers. Ugh. It is really distracting and I have to do something about it today.
For whatever reason, I need a clean table or desk to properly sit and write in my journal or on my blog. The same goes for my desk at work. I have rearranged my desk top several times in the last couple of months trying to have a cleaner surface so I can work efficiently. As of yesterday, I'm finally happy with my desk.
I don't know why this is. I'm just happy that I finally realized this about myself.
Fact #2--I have to have my Saturdays to re-charge my "batteries" so to speak. I used to run and do stuff every weekend and somehow had the energy and stamina to work all week and run all weekend. Not anymore. Except for the occasional weekend trip, for which God gives the grace and energy, I am a hermit on Saturday.
I have come to the the realization that God gives us the grace and strength for what we need to do for a season. Part of it is the aging process. I am 60 now, and don't have quite the energy level I had when my kids were in high school and I ran all the time doing stuff with them. However, part of it is just this: God gave me the ability to run with my teenagers, work my main job all week, and work a part-time job in a fast-food restaurant on nights and weekends at a time in my life when it was needed. More recently, He gave me the motivation and energy to go to college and do homework every night and weekend well past the age when most people are in college.
Now I know it was for a season, and it's over. It's over. Funny thing is, I'm not upset about it. I am grateful to get to be home most nights and on Saturday. It's my favorite place to be. I have projects around the house I enjoy working on like my pictures, writing my blog, and learning to live a minimal lifestyle.
So those were my thoughts that Saturday morning as I sat with Bible, journal, and coffee. I was left with the impression that it's time to clean up my environment--physically, mentally, and spiritually--and get to what God has called me to do in this season. For one, I know I'm drawn to writing in this blog. It makes me happy, but most of the time I don't feel like I have anything to say. I have to depend on Jesus to show me what is "share-worthy" in my life.
In other words, I need to sort through the stack of "mail" in my life--the necessary stuff and the unnecessary stuff--and figure out what is junk and what is not. That may not make sense to anyone else, but the analogy is very clear to me. Aside from the junk mail, none of the things on the kitchen table that day were unneeded; they were just out of place. I love to organize. I am excited about this challenge. God will show me how to sort everything out according to His plan.
My main reason for writing is to encourage others and point them to Jesus, who is the only answer. If you are facing a new, uncharted territory in your life, maybe it is just a new season that God is bringing about. Don't be afraid; He will equip you for what He has called you to do.
I embrace the season that God has put me in. With His help, I know I can do this.
"For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven." Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT